The Porn Detection Stick may look like an ordinary USB drive with ” Porn Detection Stick” printed on the side, but it’s not! Wait, maybe it is. *reading* No, no it’s not. Described as a “robust illicit image detection device designed to protect your family, business or organization,” the Porn Detection Stick is a USB drive you plug into your computer to hunt down dirty files — specifically, images, and it even claims to go after ones you’ve deleted. The Stick apparently makes its job harder than just immediately popping up and say, “Yep, there’s pornography here!” by instead scanning your photos for telltale signs of naughtiness such as exposed flesh, suggestive curvature and “body part separation.” Thankfully, the device only works for images, so saucy Excel spreadsheets are still a go. Isn’t that right, you naughty little cells? OMG, OMG — PIE CHAAAAAAART! Product Site via Porn Detection Stick roots out naughty files, even deleted ones [dvice] Thanks to Closet Nerd, who doesn’t find porn, porn finds him.

The female orgasm , like a unicorn , is a rare and mythical creature. Unless you’re like me, in which case they’re like plain ol’ deer: you see them all the time , and, move often than not, have to swerve to avoid hitting them with your car. Well this is an informational graphic explaining the phenomenon, which, from what I gathered, is like a total eclipse for some couples. Unless you’re like me, then it’s like the sun in California: you see it all the time, but you don’t want to stare directly at it. Wait, I’m thinking of Medusa. You see, Medusa is like a vagina…. Hit the jump for the whole, very informative chart. Go on — maybe you’ll learn something!

Lara Croft (seen here) is best known for raiding tombs and being the relic hunting alter-ego of Angelina Jolie. And now, the town of her origin is honoring her with a road , Lara Croft Way. Hey, that’s cool, but I’ve had a road named after me for years. GW Parkway , anybody? High-five, DC peeps! The Tomb Raider babe, played by Angelina Jolie in movie adaptations of the hit games, was created by Derby-based Core Design in the mid-1990s. Bosses at the city’s council today announced their new £36million ring road will be called Lara Croft Way following a public vote. Nearly 28,000 people took part in the online poll, and Lara Croft emerged the clear winner — with 89 per cent of the vote. Congratulations, Lara, I’d drive on you. IN MY MONSTER TRUCK! I am gonna f*** your roadsigns up! Lara Croft is curvy new road [thesun] and Picture Thanks to Littlezan and Add still loves Elmo, who both have roads named after them because they are practically celebrities scammed the Make A Wish Foundation growing up.

Lara Croft (seen here) is best known for raiding tombs and being the relic hunting alter-ego of Angelina Jolie. And now, the town of her origin is honoring her with a road , Lara Croft Way. Hey, that’s cool, but I’ve had a road named after me for years. GW Parkway , anybody? High-five, DC peeps! The Tomb Raider babe, played by Angelina Jolie in movie adaptations of the hit games, was created by Derby-based Core Design in the mid-1990s. Bosses at the city’s council today announced their new £36million ring road will be called Lara Croft Way following a public vote. Nearly 28,000 people took part in the online poll, and Lara Croft emerged the clear winner — with 89 per cent of the vote. Congratulations, Lara, I’d drive on you. IN MY MONSTER TRUCK! I am gonna f*** your roadsigns up! Lara Croft is curvy new road [thesun] and Picture Thanks to Littlezan and Add still loves Elmo, who both have roads named after them because they are practically celebrities scammed the Make A Wish Foundation growing up.

I have absolutely no idea what the hell I just watched , but I have the feeling it’s the reason the internet was invented. Bonus black-suit Spidey after the jump. Just lookin’ out for you, loverboy. Hit it for the other vid. You know you wanna.

February 14th: A day invented by Hallmark to ensure I’ll never live up to my girlfriend’s expectations (it’s true, Mayan calendars skip straight from Feb. 13 to Feb. 15). I hope you’re having a good one and spending it with the one you love . Or at least looking at pictures of her on Facebook and sobbing while she’s out to dinner with her boyfriend. Hey, it happens. Happy Valentine’s Day, may yours be filled with all the love possible. And sex. Dirty, kinky sex. Now, where’d I put that saddle? Someecards (the best online cards for any occassion) Thanks to you, the reader, for filling my heart with joy and hate every single day.

What better way to spend Valentine’s Day than home alone in front of the television at 10PM Eastern watching a Discovery Channel special on dinosaur sex ? I can’t think of a single one. Of course, I can’t think of a better way to spend any day. Tyrannosaurus Sex , the Discovery Channel’s “new special that investigates dinosaur reproduction” and uses “ground-breaking CGI [to] bring new life to one of the last mysteries of these great beasts.” The press release for the show is a thing of both beauty and terror — not unlike a dinosaur, really. “Tyrannosaurus Sex doesn’t just answer the questions, IT SHOWS DINOSAUR SEX IN ALL ITS GLORY ,” it says. Please god, no. “How did a ferocious T-Rex woo his lady? How did a female Titanosaur support the weight of a male who was as long as a four-story building is high? How did a Stegosaurus couple negotiate sex with all those deadly plates and spikes?” Oh. my. God. It’s like the Discovery Channel has been rooting around in my brain! Tell me, did you find out where I parked my car last night? Right, I remember being at that club, and then — robot threesome whaaaaat? Nope, definitely came up with this on their own. Press Release [tvbythenumbers] via ‘Tyrannosaurus Sex’: Jurassic spark? [popwatch] Thanks to Ryleigh and Craig, who are both invited to come over and watch provided we don’t ever make eye contact.

As a man who has never, and probably will never, see a woman’s personals , I can’t say one way or the other if the G-Point (instead of spot , get it?) mouse actually does look like a female’s nether-region when viewed from above. I do know it looks like a futuristic pool float from this angle though. Which — please tell me that’s not what a vagina looks like from the side. I’m so lost. Hit the jump to see the mouse’s more sexual side.

If there’s one thing that sucks about my life it’s everything. And if there’s another it’s slow internet service . I can’t stand it. It drives me crazy. Crazier than the kids next door waking me up at 7 playing drums on the connecting wall of our apartments. Which, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP I WILL BREAK YOUR ALL YOUR TOYS. Google is planning to launch an experiment that we hope will make Internet access better and faster for everyone. We plan to test ultra-high speed broadband networks in one or more trial locations across the country. Our networks will deliver Internet speeds more than 100 times faster than what most Americans have access to today, over 1 gigabit per second, fiber-to-the-home connections. We’ll offer service at a competitive price to at least 50,000 and potentially up to 500,000 people. From now until March 26th, we’re asking interested municipalities to provide us with information about their communities through a Request for information (RFI), which we’ll use to determine where to build our network. Listen, Google, you know I’m a straight shooter, right? You should roll this out in my city. And, if you decide not to, let me go ahead and save you the trouble of testing — everybody’s gonna love it . Google Fiber for Communities [google]

This is an older compilation of Star Trek clips that, out of context, sound incredibly sexual . Actually, in context they sound super sexual too. Yay, freaky space-sex. RED ROCKET RED ROCKET! This is an expansion of a short set of clips that Gene Roddenberry had put together after the second season, that set was just about 2 minutes and mostly bloopers, but the few suggestive shots were enough to make me wonder what a full version would look like, so enjoy! Oh man, that was hot. Granted not as hot as my laptop’s heat exhaust, but I’m tryin’ to cook my meat. Which, medium-rare — anybody? Youtube Thanks to Jacob and oysterboy, who can only communicate in the language of love. You should’ve read their tips, I swooned!