You won’t actually find the Noah’s Ark burger on any BK menu, but only because the king must have a thing against deliciousness. Or, I dunno, 10,000 calorie menu items . Whatever the case, the Noah’s Ark burger consists of two of every kind of patty BK has to offer: beef, veggie, chicken and fish, plus bacon. Can you say dangerously delicious?! I can, it’s spelled H-E-A-R-T A-T-T-A-C-K. Gotdamn I want one. But with more cheese. CHEESE NOAH NEEDS MORE CHEESE. Hit the jump for a couple more shots (including the receipt with requisite diet soda), a video of a guy pounding the thing, and a link to even more pics of the Biblical-ness.

You won’t actually find the Noah’s Ark burger on any BK menu, but only because the king must have a thing against deliciousness. Or, I dunno, 10,000 calorie menu items . Whatever the case, the Noah’s Ark burger consists of two of every kind of patty BK has to offer: beef, veggie, chicken and fish, plus bacon. Can you say dangerously delicious?! I can, it’s spelled H-E-A-R-T A-T-T-A-C-K. Gotdamn I want one. But with more cheese. CHEESE NOAH NEEDS MORE CHEESE. Hit the jump for a couple more shots (including the receipt with requisite diet soda), a video of a guy pounding the thing, and a link to even more pics of the Biblical-ness.

Tinysaurs are little dinosaur models created by artist Kelly Farrell. They’re cute as hell and you better believe I’m gonna catch ‘em all . Then lacquer them and carry them around in my pocket . ZOMG — I hope they nibble holes in my underwear! Each one is laser cut out of oak tag board using a 35 watt cutting laser, and pre-perfed for (relatively) easy assembly - assuming you’ve got some really steady hands. The T-Rex, triceraptops, stegosaurus and woolly mammoth kits are all available over at Kelly’s Etsy shop , the Maker’s Market , or Everything Tiny and cost just $7 (USD) unassembled, and $16 with a pair of tweezers and glue in a handy gift tin. If you’re a complete lazy-ass with no hand-eye coordination Kelly is also selling pre-assembled dinos in a little glass case for $60. I don’t recommend those. You get no street-cred for buying things preassembled. Hit the jump for several more pics of the possibilities!

Tinysaurs are little dinosaur models created by artist Kelly Farrell. They’re cute as hell and you better believe I’m gonna catch ‘em all . Then lacquer them and carry them around in my pocket . ZOMG — I hope they nibble holes in my underwear! Each one is laser cut out of oak tag board using a 35 watt cutting laser, and pre-perfed for (relatively) easy assembly - assuming you’ve got some really steady hands. The T-Rex, triceraptops, stegosaurus and woolly mammoth kits are all available over at Kelly’s Etsy shop , the Maker’s Market , or Everything Tiny and cost just $7 (USD) unassembled, and $16 with a pair of tweezers and glue in a handy gift tin. If you’re a complete lazy-ass with no hand-eye coordination Kelly is also selling pre-assembled dinos in a little glass case for $60. I don’t recommend those. You get no street-cred for buying things preassembled. Hit the jump for several more pics of the possibilities!

Are you richer than God ? Are you considering the purchase of an Aston Martin Rapide? If so, please hire me — I’ll do anything. Sexual favors excluded. Sexual flavors , okay. Mmmm, this tastes like lube ! The AMVOX2 Rapide Transponder heralds the second generation of the revolutionary creation that sealed the ties between the Grande Maison from the Vallée de Joux and the legendary British luxury sports car manufacturer. Released several months ago, it is the first mechanical watch developed with the ability to control access into a luxury sports car by means of a built-in micro transmitter system serves to lock and unlock the Aston Martin DBS car, while maintaining the key functions of the famous vertical-trigger mechanism equipping the pushpiece-free chronograph. That’s right, a $30K watch that unlocks your car doors . It may even start the engine too, I dunno. But that’s not the point. The point is this: if you can’t even use a regular key you probably shouldn’t be driving. Hit the jump for another shot of the watch and one of the car. Vroom vroom?

This $40 backpack from Hot Topic (I know, I secretly love that place too!) holds shit and makes you look like a ninja turtle . What more could you ask for from a bookbag ? Jesus, it’s not gonna do your math homework. This backpack is in the shape of a half-shell and includes four masks. Turtle power! WOOT! That’s right, the bag includes masks in all four turtle colors! I like turtles! AND getting high in the Turtle Van. Come on guys, make me an honorary member. I’ll wear the brown mask AND WIELD A F***ING LIGHTSABER! Now, give it to me straight — which one of you is banging April? Master Splinter — GTFO!! Product Site via The Daily What Thanks to Pete, who once pulled Krang out his android body’s stomach and beat him with a shovel.

Looking for the perfect garden sculpture to accentuate your backyard ? Well look no further, my dino-loving friends, because TOSCANO Designs has you covered, thanks to this Jurassic-Sized T-Rex Statue . “GW, DIIIIIIIINNER TIME!” CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY, GOD! At 22 feet long and 11 feet tall, this Jurassic-sized replica is the largest sculpture we have ever offered! Realistically sculpted with rows of menacing teeth, a fearsome tail and scaly skin, our prehistoric artifact is cast in quality designer resin and hand-painted with powerfully convincing color and texture. This display-quality sculpture transforms any home, garden, restaurant or hotel into something truly magnificent! Oh. Hell. Yes. Each statue is built to order and costs $7,500. A little steep, I know, but nothing you can’t afford. So go ahead and get one. Then I’m going to need your address. Also, I suggest you build a 20-foot privacy fence. KIDDING — I don’t care who sees! Product Site Thanks to uglybuckling, who has a face even a mother can’t love. But his pecs, my god those pecs.

Looking for the perfect garden sculpture to accentuate your backyard ? Well look no further, my dino-loving friends, because TOSCANO Designs has you covered, thanks to this Jurassic-Sized T-Rex Statue . “GW, DIIIIIIIINNER TIME!” CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY, GOD! At 22 feet long and 11 feet tall, this Jurassic-sized replica is the largest sculpture we have ever offered! Realistically sculpted with rows of menacing teeth, a fearsome tail and scaly skin, our prehistoric artifact is cast in quality designer resin and hand-painted with powerfully convincing color and texture. This display-quality sculpture transforms any home, garden, restaurant or hotel into something truly magnificent! Oh. Hell. Yes. Each statue is built to order and costs $7,500. A little steep, I know, but nothing you can’t afford. So go ahead and get one. Then I’m going to need your address. Also, I suggest you build a 20-foot privacy fence. KIDDING — I don’t care who sees! Product Site Thanks to uglybuckling, who has a face even a mother can’t love. But his pecs, my god those pecs.

We’ve all known about the line of Adidas Star Wars merchandise for awhile, but who knew they were gonna drop such a fresh Vader track jacket ? Not me, and I know pretty much everything (I’m a college professor in every subject). The $100 abdomen candy even comes WITH A DETACHABLE CAPE AND BREAST PLATE! Unfortunately, you’re gonna have to breath heavy on your own. Which shouldn’t be a problem for you. Remember that time at the mall when the escalator was broken? You were wheezing. Product Site via Darth Vader Track Jacket finds your lack of warmth… disturbing [dvice] Thanks to Closet Nerd, whose nerdy closet is jam-packed with Vader track jackets. Plus Members Only ones. Jealous!

This is a video of some sort of Russian-made chassis that turns your car into a treaded vehicle . I’m not sure how it connects or if you have to take the wheels off, but I do know I want one . Just not as bad as I want a kit that turns my car into a monster truck. 20’s? Pleeeeaase , I’m rollin’ on 200’s fool! Russian ’strap-on tank’ turns any car into a monster [dvice]