Looking for a ridiculously expensive lamp you’re supposed to bang a bunch of holes in with a pick-hammer? Well you’re in luck, because I just paper-mâché’d every lamp in my parent’s house AND I AM OPEN FOR BUSINESS! That’s exactly the value proposition you’ll get if you pick up artist Jordi Canudas’ Less Lamp. You see, this pendant lighting fixture looks like a solid black hanging egg when you first receive it, letting exactly none of the light out into your room. But thanks to the included pick, you can chip your way through the delicate exterior eggshell and let the light shine out to your own liking. Wow, reminds me of this chair . I think the two of them could really tie a room together. And speaking of which, mind if I do a J? Pfft — I don’t need your permission! But I do need your lighter. Give it to me. Hit the jump for a pic of what happens when you bang it a little too much.

You know what your dog needs? A f***ing walk. Not oxygen therapy. But hey, it’s available if you want it. Just don’t expect us to stay friends afterward. I CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT YOU ANYMORE! Developed by Air Press, the chambers are designed to help the dogs relax from their stressful days of eating, walking and being frequently petted by their human servants owners. Located in Yoyogi Uehara, the service goes for about 2,000 yen ($21) for 30 minutes Jesus, oxygen therapy for your pets? I NEED THAT OXYGEN. Seriously, it’s all fun and games till we’re huffing that shit out of cans like in Spaceballs. I’d hate to have to survive off whippits. No, no I wouldn’t. To the grocery store! Air Press chamber offers oxygen therapy for your pet [dvice]

This is a short video of BBC reporter Dan Simmons breaking an allegedly unbreakable phone at the Consumer Electronics Show. The phone is supposed to be able to withstand a 10-story drop, being dunked 20-feet underwater for a half hour, and used as a hammer. Unfortunately, it can’t withstand being beat against an aquarium four times. But my fish love that shit! Reporter breaks an ‘unbreakable’ mobile phone at CES [bbcnews] Thanks to Ross and Simon, who can break phones just by looking at them. That’s, uh, some superpower. Blast the chick sitting next to me!

The most famous magic duo ever, Siegfried & Roy, have announced their retirement. Siegfried Fischbacher told German magazine Neues Blatt, "Roy and I miss our audience, bu there will not be a comeback." His partner (on stage and in…

Some sexual deviant from Canada whose parents wouldn’t buy him a Nintedo Power Glove for Christmas when he was a kid is dealing with the repressed trauma by requesting women play with his little thingy with the glove on. This is the Craigslist ad. And what do you mean “no nerds”? Who do you think you are, The Wizard? Also, I love how it’s filed under “causal encounters”, like having a girl come over, donning a F***ING POWER GLOVE and touching your penis is akin to meeting someone for coffee. Craigslist Thanks to Blastphemer, vikram and Samsquanch who all claim it wasn’t them but I have my doubts.

Apparently there’s a downloadable XBox game that’s supposed to teach you how to talk to girls . Which — so let me get this straight: playing a video game ….to learn how to talk to girls. Folks, you better put your foil helmets on, the universe is imploding. “Are you nervous talking to girls? All you need is practice,” I kid you not, is the tag line for a downloadable Xbox 360 game called Don’t Be Nervous Talking 2 Girls . The 80 point ($1) indie game is one part dating sim and tries to be one part edutainment. Don’t Be Nervous Talking 2 Girls takes it self surprisingly seriously for such a silly title. Now wait just a minute — are we talking TO girls or are we talking TWO girls. Because those are two completely different things. One of which might actually be worth $1. Psyyyyyyche! What is this, a value menu?! Xbox 360 Game Wants To Help You Talk To Women [siliconera] Thanks to Jackie Jormp Jomp, who doesn’t need an XBox game to talk to the other sex because the Wii port is better.

The latest in a string of taco-related violence , a masked marauder in Illinois held up another man at machete-point and demanded the poor chap’s tacos . Admit it — if you’d have had a machete you would have done the same thing! Elgin Deputy Police Chief Jeff Swoboda says a local resident was walking back to his vehicle Sunday night after buying 16 tacos for $41 when a man wearing a black ski mask and a hooded sweat shirt ran up to him. Swoboda says the masked man waved a machete and took the tacos, but nothing else. He then drove off in an older-model light green car. Wait a minute — $41 for 16 tacos? Those must be some good-ass tacos! Say, this gives me an idea. *rummaging through closet for ninja-sword* Ow, shit! Shit shit shit shit shit. Cut myself. Machete-wielding man steals tacos [abcnews] Thanks to Annie, who won’t cut anyone for anything less than a burrito. *phew*

This is what a toot likes like under thermal imaging . Looks kind of like a ghost , don’t you think? The ghost of dinners past! Get it?! Me neither. Also, I totally just made you stare at a man’s ass. Women don’t do that ! Right? Women don’t do that….right? Picture Thanks to Kelly, who thought it looked like musical notes.

Ever wonder what Pac-Man eating a ghost would look like constructed out of a shitload of tuna cans? Well now you do. The internet: it’s magic , folks. These shots were taken at Canstruction, an annual food-and-drink can stacking event that I can’t even believe exists. If there’s a damn Canstruction you can bet your bottom diaper there should be a Geekologie-con. Somebody get on that. Somebody, anybody. Not me. And bring snacks booze. Wait, snacks too. Oh, AND YOU BETTER HAVE GOOD ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS. Kidding, anybody will do. Hit the jump for two more.

Listen, I love standing in the shower watching full-length movies as much as the next water waster (which is why I just had a swimming pool sized hot water heater installed), but what’s the matter with a traditional projection setup? I swear, people are always trying to one-up me. Too bad I know how to do that turtle shell trick in world 3-1 of the original Super Mario and can get unlimited one-ups. Suck it — I will always out one-up you! The Roca Waterdrop Shower Room surrounds you by a 3D touchscreen, allowing you to watch movies while you bathe. The touchscreen also allows you to control the temperature of the water and the intensity of the jets. I mean, sure if you want to be tacky about it. I think we can all agree the touchscreen is a little much. I would have gone with voice-control. AND WHERE ARE THE LASER EXFOLIATORS? Cheapskates. Install a 3D wraparound touchscreen in your shower [dvice]