I took the liberty of off-centering the map a little so in case your boss walks by you’re not blatantly staring at a giant man-hammer in the middle of your screen. Not that you wouldn’t be anyways because you’re a pervert, but you’re not getting fired on my watch. Dammit, I need you. Mostly to take the blame for things. What? Don’t look at me — it was him, IT WAS HIM! Google Maps Thanks to Bret, who refuses to be buried under a giant johnson.

I took the liberty of off-centering the map a little so in case your boss walks by you’re not blatantly staring at a giant man-hammer in the middle of your screen. Not that you wouldn’t be anyways because you’re a pervert, but you’re not getting fired on my watch. Dammit, I need you. Mostly to take the blame for things. What? Don’t look at me — it was him, IT WAS HIM! Google Maps Thanks to Bret, who refuses to be buried under a giant johnson.

Radical is the opposite of what I was thinking. A cowbot riding a velociraptor around like a common horse ? It’s enough to make me sick to my stomach . Speaking of which: mixing soymilk and OJ doesn’t make an Orange Julius. But it does make you throw up in your mouth a little (high-five Facebook friends — you know what I’m talking about!). Anyway, today I’m gonna try adding sugar. Picture and Picture Thanks to Alex, who once went to a dinosaur rodeo and said it made him sick. You must have gone to the wrong kind Alex (I’ll be in the closet).

I’m not familiar with South Korean girl band Wonder Girls, but, to my credit, I stopped listening to new music in the 90’s. But maybe you have. Maybe you shake your ass to it before bed at night with just your underwear on. That’s cool. Regardless, this is a video of a bunch of stormtroopers dancing to their smash hit ‘Nobody’. And I think I speak for the entire Galactic Empire when I say, “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” I smell a round of Force-chokes coming on! SeoulDanceTroopers Does Wonder Girl’s Nobody [toysrevil] Thanks to Mimi, who once filmed a bunch of Ewok’s dancing to Daft Punk’s ‘Around The World’. Sweeeeet.

I know I reported last year that July 21st, 1984 was the date of the first US robot killing , but, well, maybe that was wrong . Or maybe this one’s wrong . But whatever the case, I’m always right. Always. 1979 : A 25-year-old Ford Motor assembly line worker is killed on the job in a Flint, Michigan, casting plant. It’s the first recorded human death by robot. Williams died instantly in 1979 when the robot’s arm slammed him as he was gathering parts in a storage facility, where the robot also retrieved parts. Williams’ family was later awarded $10 million in damages. The jury agreed the robot struck him in the head because of a lack of safety measures, including one that would sound an alarm if the robot was near. Pfft, robot alarms. The only sound you’re gonna hear if a robot nears me is samurai sword slicing through metal like hot margerine. Then, after that, *BANGARANG! BANGARANG! BANGARANG!* (Ancient teabagging mantra). Jan. 25, 1979: Robot Kills Human [wired] Thanks to Big T and pbx, who have never met a robot they didn’t not like.

You ever seen a robot-child pulling a kid around in a rickshaw? Now you have. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, “I want to cut its legs off and steal those glasses”. A creepy kid’s ride where they ride other (robot) kids, in the SM City Marikina mall in the Philippines. This is wrong on so many levels, we don’t know where to begin. Damnit, the Philippines. I’ve already got both hands full(!) keeping Japan’s collective robo-boner in check and you go and pull some shit like this. Believe me, you don’t want to follow in the footsteps of Japan (except for the worn-panty vending machines — those things draw hella-tourism). Youtube Thanks to Dj Azer, who would have tripped that kid and stole his wagon.

Like being a father , just the very thought of it makes me sick to my stomach . And the only thing that makes this redeemable is the fact that “my robe and wizard hat” also made the cut ( bloodninja , high-five!). Oh, and “my Robert Pattinson”. God that’s pathetic. Listen Twi-Hards — HE WILL NEVER BE YOURS. Will you, Robert? No, you won’t. Now keep tickling, glittercakes. Never Have Unprotected Robot Sex [autocompleteme] Thanks to Twelveburgers, who, wait — no cheese?

It’s a giant baby robot . It exemplifies everything that’s wrong with robotics . Namely, that they exist — or were born , if you will (L337 baby tie-in FTW!). It shouldn’t exist. If I had a time machine I’d go back in time and make sure it was never created bang dinos. Sorry guys, I’ve got priorities. the robot is supposed to model a 1 year old baby and the purpose is to conduct research on how a baby’s brain develops. Diego-san’s face has about 20 moving parts so that it can communicate with facial expression without being able to talk. It is 130cm tall, weighs 30kg and can stand up from a chair on its own. It can hold a water bottle with its hand. It has a high resolution camera and 6 axis acceleration sensor built in to detect movement. Unfortunately it doesn’t say why the head has to be so big. Female researchers contributed to the design and coordination - thus the photo of woman hugging Diego-san. Pfft. Like you really need a creepy-ass robot to study how a baby’s brain develops? Here, let me solve that mystery for you: slowly. I have an eleven-year old who still craps his pants. And before you all get in a huff about scarring my son by airing his dirty laundry (God I’m good) on Geekologie, don’t worry: it’s not like he can read. Hit the jump for a larger shot of the baby and his inventor.

Hey, want to creep everybody out and get your own personal patrol car following you where ever you go? Then buy a $175 custom Pedobear hoodie from Calgary Cosplay (Pedonadians!) and wear it to a middle school basketball game. Make sure to stare at the cheerleaders. Product Site (with tons of custom Pokemon hoodies as well) via The Pedobear Hoodie Cost $175, Guarantees Instant Awesomeness [knucklesunited] Thanks to Ezrail and I Never Back Down, who don’t need Pedobear hoodies because they have half-grown mustaches and wear those glasses that automatically darken in sunlight.

Beautiful People is a dating website for beautiful people. And apparently 5,000 members got the boot for becoming unbeautiful over the holidays by gaining weight. Big IS beautiful, jerks! “As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld,” said Robert Hintze, founder of BeautifulPeople.com. “Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.” “Is it elitist? Yes, it is, because our members want it to be,” Hodge said when the company started out in 2005. “Is it lookist? Yes, it is, because our members want it to be. Is it PC? No, it’s not, but it’s honest.” And on this site, beauty is certainly in the eye of the beholder; only one in five applicants is normally accepted, a company statement said. Wow, a dating website exclusively for good looking people. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh right, I did. I’m not only the president — I’m also a client badass wizard. Abracadabra bitches! Dating site for beautiful people expels ‘fatties’ after holiday weight gain [cnn] Thanks to hildAT-AT, jason and Ellen, who were all deemed too attractive for the site.