Good to know that Katy Perry only need bring the essentials to work with her: Big box of Wheat Thins and a Chanel purse all while wearing a pair of sexy boots and black tights! But being engaged to…

This is a little series of pictures drawn by artist H. Caldwell Tanner imagining some alternative career choices Mario could have made to make rescuing the princess easier . The last one is the best but you’re gonna have to hit the jump to see it because, well, I need the clicks. Personally, I think Mario should have gone into organized crime. Get it? Because he’s Italian. Ah, stereotypes. Don’t worry though, I can say that because I’m half Italian (stallion). I’M A CENTAUR BITCHES, WHAT?! Hit the jump to see four more.

This is a screenshot of some kid playing ‘Christmas Light Hero’ on the front of his (parents’) house. And I thought I was a crazy Christmas decorator (I am, I wander around the front yard in my bathrobe cackling)! According to the Daily What, Ric Turner, a former Disney ‘imagineer’ and special effects specialist, turned his yard into a game of Guitar Hero, built out of 21,268 lights and LEDs, that plays Eric Johnson’s “Cliffs of Dover.” To program the show a video recording was made of a perfect round of Guitar Hero playing Eric Johnson’s Cliffs of Dover. The timing of all the dots and the light show choreography follow that video. When you play, you watch only the Christmas lights, but the audio you hear is from the Wii, so your flubs are broadcast for all to hear (people in cars can tune 99.1 and crank it up as loud as they want.) Wow, that’s….impressive. Not as impressive as wiring up a homemade ‘Rock Band, Holiday Edition’ using EVERY HOUSE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, but it’s not bad for an amateur effort. It is sooooo on, Ric! (I have all the giant inflatables, just sayin’). Hit the jump for the video of the lights in action.

After all the chic little dresses, high heels and Vogue shoots, we were thinking little Dakota Fanning had grown up for good, but yesterday, it was refreshing to see her dressed down for pilates and finally looking her age! After…

Apparently this is a real resignation from a designer in Doesitreallymatter, Somestate, that was tired of being treated like the proverbial piece of monkey shit. According to somebody who allegedly knew what was going on: He believed he was in a temp-to-hire position, and after three months of extra hours and butt-kissing, turns out it’s just a temp position. He was a good worker too. I’d have recommended him. Too bad he burned his bridges. First of all, I want it to be noted that the Geekologie Writer doesn’t brown-lip. And thirdly, “too bad he burned his bridges?” Really? More like TOO BAD HE ERECTED A TOWER OF AWESOME! I’d hire this guy and I don’t even have anything for him to do besides quit. I can’t wait to see how it does it this time! One of my co-workers quit today. We found this on his desktop. [reddit] (with a huge discussion of how this makes people feel. Like others care — HA!) via Best “I Quit” Note Ever [thehighdefinite] Thanks to Blastphemer, who once quit a job with two gallons of gasoline and a pack of matches.

Apparently this is a real resignation from a designer in Doesitreallymatter, Somestate, that was tired of being treated like the proverbial piece of monkey shit. According to somebody who allegedly knew what was going on: He believed he was in a temp-to-hire position, and after three months of extra hours and butt-kissing, turns out it’s just a temp position. He was a good worker too. I’d have recommended him. Too bad he burned his bridges. First of all, I want it to be noted that the Geekologie Writer doesn’t brown-lip. And thirdly, “too bad he burned his bridges?” Really? More like TOO BAD HE ERECTED A TOWER OF AWESOME! I’d hire this guy and I don’t even have anything for him to do besides quit. I can’t wait to see how it does it this time! One of my co-workers quit today. We found this on his desktop. [reddit] (with a huge discussion of how this makes people feel. Like others care — HA!) via Best “I Quit” Note Ever [thehighdefinite] Thanks to Blastphemer, who once quit a job with two gallons of gasoline and a pack of matches.

This is a video of the workers in a Microsoft store dancing around and clapping like the bunch of out-of-shape retail employees they are. That said, I would’ve passed out halfway through the song BUT ONLY CAUSE I’D BEEN DRINKING. The Blackeyed Peas compel the employees at the Microsoft Store in Mission Viejo, California to break out in dance, let their hair down and have some fun. This is an amazing store, the employees seem really excited and engaged, almost happy to be at work. My favorite parts are when people walking in the mall come inside the store, join in the dancing and have some fun. The amazing thing is that people are in the store for hours, they love interacting with the software and learning about new technology. Wow, like THAT doesn’t sound like the biggest bunch of promotional bullshit I’ve ever read. People spending hours in a retail store, really? THEY’RE CALLED HOMELESS. The last time I ever spent hours in a retail establishment my mom forgot me at Sears while I was playing in the middle of a clothes rack and they closed the store for the night . And that, my friends, is why I can’t sleep without a circular saw. Youtube Thanks to Patrick, Mark, babysteps and Mixtech, who, dance! *pew pew* I SAID DANCE!

Zac Efron must be lonely here in LA while girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens is still in Vancouver shooting her film, Sucker Punch. Course, he does seem to have found ways to fill his time, with frequent visits to the gym, and…

The After Office Tie, by Argentinian design firm Sinapsis, appears to be an ordinary neck tie when worn under a suit. But little will your boss know that there’s actually a bottle opener at the bottom perfect for opening happiness (read: booze) while on the clock! You know, this reminds me: one day I almost finished a whole case of beer at work. *glug glug glug* Aaaaaaaand I did it! Now, who’s down for happy hour? I will drink your ass under the table! Oooh, and while you’re down there — you spy any loose Chex mix? I like the cereal bits. Concept: Tie with built-in bottle opener [crunchgear] Thanks to Jason, who opens beer bottles with his eye socket like a normal pirate.

Hey folks, sorry I had to leave so abruptly on Friday, I was traveling and got into a fistfight at the airport with a man with a large suitcase AND HAD TO WHIP HIS ASS FROM TERMINAL A TO TERMINAL D. Not really, but I was traveling. Anyway, I know I promised I’d have your haiku graded and returned today (some with smiley stickers, others with lots of red), but I forgot it was Labor Day weekend. You see, sometimes even your Geekologie Writer can be an idiot moron. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I jest, but it is a holiday weekend so I figured I’d wait till Tuesday to reveal the winners and show you the balls. So everybody have a great time tomorrow and remember: don’t go to work. Unless you have to, in which case quit. HAPPY LABOR DABOR DAY EVERYBODY!