This is a $16 elemental bacon shirt. It spells ‘BaCoN’ through the clever placement of three periodic elements: barium, cobalt and nitrogen. And I think we can all agree: bacon would be a lot less popular if it actually were barium, cobolt and nitrogen. And not just because it would make your shit shine like a glowstick, but it 100% would. Haha, what do you mean barium isn’t radioactive? SHUT UP, I’LL WEAR THE LAB COAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. And the pants . Kidding, KIDDING — I’m a blogger, remember? ThinkGeek Product Site Thanks to Kevin and André, who’d still eat it anyways. For principle.

If you printed Twitter …you should really tw. Also, you completely depleted Earth’s natural resources. Way to go, dick. But wait, there’s more! Hit the jump to read the rest of the informational graphic showing just how badly you’d doom the planet if you decided to do something as stupid as print everything on Twitter.

NOTE : Video probably NSFW due to language (watch with headphones on. Also, a novelty t-shirt). I don’t even know what to say about this except I kind of liked it and it really made me want to do something similar . Provided something similar is play Zelda: Spirit Tracks until I fall asleep. Youtube Thanks to Chad and Marlene, who once redubbed an episode of Battlestar Galactica into a giant pirate vs. ninja battle.

The Keystick is a keyboard that folds into a stick when not in use for ease of transport and beating people. It was designed by Yoonsang Kim & Eunsung Park and I hope you know when I say it folds into a stick that that it’s more like a ruler and less like a tree branch. Just so we’re clear on that. Also, if I tell you I’m good in bed I actually mean I can sleep through the night without waking up and crying. God, I’m too honest. And good in bed. Hit the jump for several more shots of the confused peripheral.

This handsome dapper portly half-Santa isn’t the man in the story, but that doesn’t matter. What’s important is that he practices good dental hygiene. Also, that some cat named d’Armond Speers decided to only speak Klingon to his son for the first three years of his life. But fret not, he did it with good cause: cruelty experimentation . I knew I had kids for a reason! “I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language,” Speers told the Minnesota Daily. “He was definitely starting to learn it.” And get this, Speers says he isn’t really a huge Star Trek fan. Does the fact that Speers has a doctorate in computational linguistics explain anything — or excuse anything — here? Maybe. His child-rearing habits were part of a larger story on the company he advises, Ultralingua, which develops language and translation software. Including Klingon. Yeah, I don’t know how I feel about that. Besides somebody get this man a ‘Father of the Year’ ribbon! Are you reading this B.F. Skinner? That air-crib was weak shit! Local dad spoke only Klingon to child for three years [citypages] Thanks to Demon Spawn and Kelly, who are only speaking jibberish to their children for six years.

Is this how today’s children learn the alphabet ? No. Is this how tomorrow’s children will learn the alphabet ? Probably not. Is spanking the best way to teach your children things? My parents thought so, and look how smart I am. Well, you can’t physically SEE how smart I am. What you’re looking at is called handsome. How Today’s Kids Learn The Alphabet [verybored] Thanks to Nick, who learned the alphabet the old fashioned way: he didn’t. His tip was nothing but wingdings and a link!

Some poor bastard, fed up with his car being broken into , decided to leave this passive aggressive note for the thieves. And not only does he reference Half-Life , THE DUDE KEEPS AN OCARINA IN HIS CAR. ZOMG, do you think he’s Link?! Yeah, me neither. Also, to guy’s credit, I added the asterisk to his signature. DUDE MEANS BUSINESS. Picture Thanks to gabby, who would have booby trapped the car with Goron bombs.

First of all, acronyms aren’t allowed in Scrabble . Or proper names. Making this ‘the least played by the rules’ game of Scrabble ever. That aside, is it the geekiest ? Maybe — you be the judge. I will be the jury. Except, instead of paying attention and taking notes, I’ll be doing a Sudoku. You hear that, court system? STOP CALLING ME FOR JURY DUTY ! I have the attention span of Scrabble “Geek style” [flickr] via The Geekiest Scrabble Game Ever! [walyou]

I typically use a gum wrapper or dog-ear the pages to mark my place in a book , but hey, a glorified rubber band , that’s cool. The Bookmark II is a simple rubber band with an arrow on one side and a “Bookmark” tab on the other. The arrow allows you to point to the line you were last reading and the tab to open the book up to the appropriate page. It’s simple. If you’ll notice, the arrow in the picture is pointing to a line with a dirty word. That’s subliminal advertising! It’s working too, I just ordered a hundred. I’m gonna wear them like LIVESTRONG bracelets! The Bookmark II [ohgizmo]

Personally, I’ve always wanted a font created out of my handwriting because I have the cutest damn handwriting in the world (I even dot my i’s with hearts!), but hey, a driving font, that’s cool too. Graphic designers Pierre Smeets and Damien Aresta, known collectively as pleaseletmedesign, teamed up with professional race car driver Stef van Campenhoudt to…create a font. As you can see Campenhoudt did the “writing”. The 4 dots on the roof of the car was tracked in real time using a camera and a custom software designed by fellow artist Zachary Lieberman of openFrameworks. If you ask me, I’d say it turned out pretty well. So go ahead — ask me. I think it turned out pretty well. Told you! I AM A MAN OF MY WORD. Hit the jump for a video of the font creation in action, complete with soundtrack that gave me an aural seizure.