This just in: the new viewing module added to the International Space Station is actually a refurbished TIE fighter cockpit. You heard it here first. Also, I’m the world’s greatest lover and have a body that could make Adonis cry tears of pure abs. What — you already heard that? Was it written in a bathroom stall? Yeah I did that. Picture [nasa] Thanks to Sister Angus McBastard, one hell of a holy sandwich. And Ryan, who took the time to make the mashup pic. Good lookin’, Ryan. Really, you are.

The last scheduled night launch of a space shuttle (besides mine) went down early this morning, and carried a very important payload. A pickle jar full of my sperms? No. A viewing portal to be attached to the International Space Station (sorry for getting your hopes up, aliens). On board Endeavor (STS-130) is Cupola , a relatively huge bay window to be attached to the International Space Station (ISS) that will give astronauts the most magnificent view ever seen from space (short of taking a spacewalk). Expect great pictures from this 1.6-ton behemoth — it’s 9.7 feet wide and 5 feet long with seven windows all around, including a 31.5-inch circular window, the largest ever flown into space. Hey, that’s cool too. Why start a colony of alien GW’s when you can take pretty pictures of earth? Besides every good reason you could possibly think of, including, wait — I wouldn’t have to pay child support for all them freaky alien kids, would I? Because I’ll fight that shit all the way to the Supreme Court Maury. I AM NOT THE FATHER. Shuttle’s final night launch lifts largest window ever into orbit [dvice]

Well folks, this just goes to show you can only dangle from rooftops staring into women’s bedroom windows for so long before the boys in blue take notice. For shame, Spidey, for shame . And, on a completely and totally unrelated note that has absolutely nothing to do with this story: I’ve got a used repelling harness for sale. Spiderman getting arrested [jonahray]

This is a video of fifth-grader Will Smith (of Fresh Prince fame) singing ‘ Windows 7 Rising’, a song about the operating system sung to the tune of CCR’s ‘Bad Moon Rising’, at what I assume is a school-sponsored talent show. He’s pretty skilled and undoubtedly left the stage that night with a number of 8th grader’s hearts in his jacket pocket. Which sadly isn’t many BECAUSE THEY DON’T MAKE THOSE SUIT POCKETS FUNCTIONAL. And you know why? Government conspiracy. Same reason you’re not allowed to drink at the DMV even though your mom drove you. The Best Windows 7 Song You’ll Heart Today [gizmodo]

Ever wanted to hear all the Windows startup and shutdown sounds from Windows 3.1 to Vista (suck it, Windows 7 , you can’t play with us!) in one short 1:11 video? Well you’re in luck, cause here it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AYE AYE AYE!!!! Really brings back memories , doesn’t it? Yeah, mostly bad ones, but still. Hey — just be thankful you’re not that guy in Momento . Complete collection of Windows startup/shutdown sounds [dvice]

This is a just-released Apple ad making fun of Microsoft’s new Windows 7. I thought it was smarmy and, despite not knowing what smarmy means or if it’s even a real word, spell check didn’t say anything so I’m going with it. Also, enough with the dirt slinging, Apple . Geekologie is 100% composed on a PC. But Apple, if you’re reading this: I’d be willing to try writing Geekologie on a high-end Macbook Pro. Just sayin’ (contact me for shipping address). Youtube Thanks to Kevin, who doesn’t take sides because the likes the way fence feels on his butt.

This is a just-released Apple ad making fun of Microsoft’s new Windows 7. I thought it was smarmy and, despite not knowing what smarmy means or if it’s even a real word, spell check didn’t say anything so I’m going with it. Also, enough with the dirt slinging, Apple . Geekologie is 100% composed on a PC. But Apple, if you’re reading this: I’d be willing to try writing Geekologie on a high-end Macbook Pro. Just sayin’ (contact me for shipping address). Youtube Thanks to Kevin, who doesn’t take sides because the likes the way fence feels on his butt.

This is a just-released Apple ad making fun of Microsoft’s new Windows 7. I thought it was smarmy and, despite not knowing what smarmy means or if it’s even a real word, spell check didn’t say anything so I’m going with it. Also, enough with the dirt slinging, Apple . Geekologie is 100% composed on a PC. But Apple, if you’re reading this: I’d be willing to try writing Geekologie on a high-end Macbook Pro. Just sayin’ (contact me for shipping address). Youtube Thanks to Kevin, who doesn’t take sides because the likes the way fence feels on his butt.

Because there’s no better way to market a new operating system, Burger Kings in Japan are selling limited edition Windows 7 Whoppers to coincide with the release of the operating system today. What is a Windows 7 Whopper? Try seven mostly-beef patties stacked high on a sesame seed bun with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup and mayonnaise . What, no cheese? But I want to die! 30 customers a day will be able to buy the whopping Whopper for ¥777 ($8.55), but after that it’ll set you back a staggering ¥1,450 ($17.10). Which, I’m sorry, but no way. $17 for a burger? THOSE BETTER BE SNOW LEOPARD PATTIES. See what I did there? God I’m L337. Burger King selling a Windows 7 Whopper in Japan [engadget] Thanks to nichire, Jamez, and Billy Avenue, who could each eat two of these and still down a chocolate milkshake and some onion rings.

Because there’s no better way to market a new operating system, Burger Kings in Japan are selling limited edition Windows 7 Whoppers to coincide with the release of the operating system today. What is a Windows 7 Whopper? Try seven mostly-beef patties stacked high on a sesame seed bun with lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, ketchup and mayonnaise . What, no cheese? But I want to die! 30 customers a day will be able to buy the whopping Whopper for ¥777 ($8.55), but after that it’ll set you back a staggering ¥1,450 ($17.10). Which, I’m sorry, but no way. $17 for a burger? THOSE BETTER BE SNOW LEOPARD PATTIES. See what I did there? God I’m L337. Burger King selling a Windows 7 Whopper in Japan [engadget] Thanks to nichire, Jamez, and Billy Avenue, who could each eat two of these and still down a chocolate milkshake and some onion rings.