Solid Alliance’s ‘Crazy Earphones’ are just that: f***ing crazy . They come in styles like “mushroom”, ” katana through your head”, ” arrow through your head” and “extra ears” and will set you back around $22 a set. But what’s $22 for a pair of poor quality ear-buds that’ll make people think you’re insane and cross to the other side of the street. A small price to pay, that’s what! I just bought ten pairs of katanas. HI-YA, SUCKAS! Hit the jump for a better shot in case you’re interested in perusing the merchandise.

The undeniable pinnacle of computer peripherals , the Fast Fingers keyboard is a $20 example of the opposite of that. It does allow you to choose between a standard ASDF keyboard layout and an alphabetically ordered one though. But is that all? NO SIR, BECAUSE IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 15-MINUTES I’LL THROW IN THE ABILITY TO ACTIVE 12 DIFFERENT HOTKEYS TO TYPE THINGS LIKE ‘ASAP’, ‘CYA’, ‘THX’, ‘THC’, ‘PCP’, ‘YOUDOWNWITHOPP?’ and ‘YEAHYOUKNOWME’. Well hotdog and coldcat my friends this sounds like an unbelievable deal! Can you tell I belong on QVC? Because I do. Also on the front of $3 bills. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the — now where’s my ‘POS’ button?

The undeniable pinnacle of computer peripherals , the Fast Fingers keyboard is a $20 example of the opposite of that. It does allow you to choose between a standard ASDF keyboard layout and an alphabetically ordered one though. But is that all? NO SIR, BECAUSE IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 15-MINUTES I’LL THROW IN THE ABILITY TO ACTIVE 12 DIFFERENT HOTKEYS TO TYPE THINGS LIKE ‘ASAP’, ‘CYA’, ‘THX’, ‘THC’, ‘PCP’, ‘YOUDOWNWITHOPP?’ and ‘YEAHYOUKNOWME’. Well hotdog and coldcat my friends this sounds like an unbelievable deal! Can you tell I belong on QVC? Because I do. Also on the front of $3 bills. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the — now where’s my ‘POS’ button?

Allegedly Google plans to feature the interiors of participating retail stores on Google Maps . Because, well, I’m not really sure why. Something to do with controlling the world though, that’s a given. The report comes from Search Engine Land, which was contacted by a New York company called Oh Nuts. Apparently the almond-monger recently got a visit from camera-toting Google guys, who photographed their entire store, six feet at a time, in every direction. So essentially, you’d be able to see a storefront in Street View, click on it, and check out the interior for inventory, cleanliness, layout, etc. Interesting, Google, but you know what would be even more helpful? Live webcams in Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms. That would be huge. And speaking of huge — go ahead and throw some in the plus-size stores as well. I LIKE ‘EM THICK! I’m serious — if I can’t stand comfortably in one leg of a woman’s panties I….throw that pair back and try another dryer. Google Wants to Add Store Interiors to Maps [gizmodo] Thanks to Craig, who’s only interested in pet store cams. Keep the tips coming, Craig!

Allegedly Google plans to feature the interiors of participating retail stores on Google Maps . Because, well, I’m not really sure why. Something to do with controlling the world though, that’s a given. The report comes from Search Engine Land, which was contacted by a New York company called Oh Nuts. Apparently the almond-monger recently got a visit from camera-toting Google guys, who photographed their entire store, six feet at a time, in every direction. So essentially, you’d be able to see a storefront in Street View, click on it, and check out the interior for inventory, cleanliness, layout, etc. Interesting, Google, but you know what would be even more helpful? Live webcams in Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms. That would be huge. And speaking of huge — go ahead and throw some in the plus-size stores as well. I LIKE ‘EM THICK! I’m serious — if I can’t stand comfortably in one leg of a woman’s panties I….throw that pair back and try another dryer. Google Wants to Add Store Interiors to Maps [gizmodo] Thanks to Craig, who’s only interested in pet store cams. Keep the tips coming, Craig!

Looking for the latest and least greatest in iPhone apps ? Check out the $1 “Blower” app. It sucks blows sucks and blows is f***ing stupid . Thanks to the new “Blower” app, iPhone owners will now be able to blow out candles with their handset. Just “switch on your app, turn the iPhone volume to the max and feel the air flowing from the speaker opening.” Unlock the new mind-blowing secret feature on your iPhone. Turn your iPhone into a real Air Blower! Mind-blowing secret feature my ass. An x-ray camera, now THAT’S a mind-blowing secret feature. Or the ability to make calls to the dead. Phone developers, are you getting all this? Because I’m not buying another phone until I can talk to George Washington and take pictures of Martha’s underwear. Just saying. Hit the jump for a video of the app blowing out candles. WHEE, what a birthday!

Ever wonder what Pac-Man eating a ghost would look like constructed out of a shitload of tuna cans? Well now you do. The internet: it’s magic , folks. These shots were taken at Canstruction, an annual food-and-drink can stacking event that I can’t even believe exists. If there’s a damn Canstruction you can bet your bottom diaper there should be a Geekologie-con. Somebody get on that. Somebody, anybody. Not me. And bring snacks booze. Wait, snacks too. Oh, AND YOU BETTER HAVE GOOD ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS. Kidding, anybody will do. Hit the jump for two more.

Listen, I love standing in the shower watching full-length movies as much as the next water waster (which is why I just had a swimming pool sized hot water heater installed), but what’s the matter with a traditional projection setup? I swear, people are always trying to one-up me. Too bad I know how to do that turtle shell trick in world 3-1 of the original Super Mario and can get unlimited one-ups. Suck it — I will always out one-up you! The Roca Waterdrop Shower Room surrounds you by a 3D touchscreen, allowing you to watch movies while you bathe. The touchscreen also allows you to control the temperature of the water and the intensity of the jets. I mean, sure if you want to be tacky about it. I think we can all agree the touchscreen is a little much. I would have gone with voice-control. AND WHERE ARE THE LASER EXFOLIATORS? Cheapskates. Install a 3D wraparound touchscreen in your shower [dvice]

Ever wanted a toilet seat that looks like a guitar ? It’s not high on my list of priorities either, but if you already have every other thing in the world maybe it’s time for one. Jammin’ Johns come in guitar and piano varieties and will set you back about $180. They go perfect in music themed bathrooms . Which — oh God please tell me you don’t have a themed bathroom. Unless it’s beach themed, those are fine. I love your little shell soaps! Hit the shot for another guitar and a shot of a piano.

Because life is progressively becoming a series of nightmares , scientists want to develop a robot that mimics the movement of a cheetah so they can chase us down and maul us to death. Why did I even get out of bed this morning? Oh, right. Well why did I even wake up this morning? Professor Sangbae Kim designer of the Stickybot and a Robotic designer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Is trying to understand how he can replicate natural animal mechanisms by creating a robot inspired by the cheetah. The idea is to build a prototype robot from a construction of lightweight carbon-fiber-foam that will then be able to match the cheetah’s speed of 70 miles per hour. Over the next 18 months, Kim and four other MIT graduate students are going to start constructing the prototypes. Starting with a computer model of the robotic cheetah to establish the optimal limb length, weight, gait and torque of the hip and knee joints. It’s an ambitious project. Current wheeled robots are efficient, but can be slow in rough terrains. For instance, iRobot’s PackBot, which is used by the U.S. military, can only travel at speeds of up to 5.8 miles per hour. I’m sure this seemed like a good idea to somebody at some point, but it’s not. Like I don’t have enough to worry about without a 70 MPH cheetah-bot running around. Also, like four children. And you wonder why daddy drinks in bed all day! Cheetah Inspired Robot [geekygadgets] Thanks to Excaliber, who I will use to slice through these bastards like room temperature butter.