I think I speak for all of us when I say some of my most brilliant ideas have come to me in the middle of the night when I’ve woken up on the can after passing out from puking so hard I popped blood vessels in my eyes . And what better place to scrawl all that genius down than a $8 hand-bound journal made out of a cardboard beer case ? I can’t think of anywhere. Funny story: one time I turned the lights off in the bathroom and spun around in a circle three times yelling, “Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary!” Then I flicked the lights on and stared in the mirror. You know what I saw?! “Buy more TP ” written in acne cream. And then, underneath that, “BTW, this isn’t acne cream ;)”. THEN WHAT WAS IT?! Freaky, I know. Product Site via Beer Book Houses Your Slurred, Rambling Thoughts [nerdapproved] Thanks to Closet Nerd, who scribbles his brilliance on the back wall of his bedroom closet. In crayon.

Google toilet paper : made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: “Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!” HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin’. This Google’s made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget] Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude’s a bear.

In 1955, Doctor Emmet Lathrop Brown was standing on a toilet hanging a wall clock when he slipped and beat his head on the bathroom sink . Unconscious, Doc had a vision. And that vision was that of a flux capacitor — the device that makes time travel possible. The rest, my friends, is history. Or should I say, future ? Time travel joke! Wiki Page Thanks to Zach, who doesn’t need roads where he’s going.

Ever wanted a toilet seat that looks like a guitar ? It’s not high on my list of priorities either, but if you already have every other thing in the world maybe it’s time for one. Jammin’ Johns come in guitar and piano varieties and will set you back about $180. They go perfect in music themed bathrooms . Which — oh God please tell me you don’t have a themed bathroom. Unless it’s beach themed, those are fine. I love your little shell soaps! Hit the shot for another guitar and a shot of a piano.

At just over a year old, Jessica Alba has decided it's time to ditch the diapers and start potty trianing little Honor! The mother/daughter duo went to Bel Bambini in West Hollywood yesterday to pick up a nautical themed training…

Junior Fritz Jacquet is an artist that loves working with paper and has created a series of small masks by bending and folding empty toilet paper rolls. Good looking, Junior (we named the dog Indiana). I really think this is testament to the creativity of the human mind. It’s amazing, you know? Junior here sees an empty toilet paper roll and thinks art. Me? I think, “damnit — what hand’s it gonna be this time?” Hit the jump for a whole gallery of faces.

The pinnacle of human achievement : glow in the dark toilet paper . Finally, I can sleep at night…knowing that if I have to get up to go to the bathroom , I at least won’t sit in the sink again. Or will I? I probably will. It’s like a bidet! Perfect for power cuts, this groovy glowing loo roll means that if you don’t want to wake anyone up in your household by turning on the light, it’ll cast its green glow over your bathroom, so you can find your way around. Neat, but each roll will set you back $8 and change. And, as cool as glowing toilet paper is, I can’t imagine you’d want something radioactive so close to your privates. I mean, who wants glowing children? Besides everybody! Which is exactly why I just wrapped my penis in a roll. See — it looks like a mummy! Product Site Thanks to naas, who doesn’t need glowing toilet paper to find his ass.

I’d never seen this prank before, but maybe you have. Regardless, it’s awesome . Now I don’t want to spoil it, but I love how the girl put a hidden camera in the bathroom TO FILM HER DAD USING THE JOHN. Because that’s a healthy father/daughter relationship. LiveLeak Thanks to Towhee, who once got tape-measured off the john and hit her head on the bathtub and almost drowned. Pranks are dangerous, kids.

The Comfort Wipe is an 18″ arm extender/wad of toilet paper holder for use when you can’t reach your own ass or don’t like your digits coming into contact with your butthole (you’re doing it wrong!). Interesting. Also, I want to know the “advantages” of being big the hefty dude is talking about. In all seriousness though, this really is a great product, I just recommend buying two (read: I lost one wiping hard). Youtube Thanks to Wilson and gizmoduck, who just use a handful of poison ivy fashioned to a stick because they’re hardcore.

The Tenshi no Hizamakura (Angels Knee Pillow) is a little bench designed to get men lower to the action and help prevent urine misplacement . No word if it actually comes with the flying pee genie in the picture, but that would pretty awesome if it did (and also a bargain at $60). …according to the manufacturer, House Doctor, urinating into the toilet from a certain height results in hundreds of droplets of spray & splash being ejected from the bowl - yes, they actually COUNTED the droplets - and in Japanese households it’s the wife who gets to perform the toilet cleaning services. Ha, maybe America and Japan aren’t so different after all. Get it? Because the women do the cleaning here too! Isn’t that right, honey? Honey? HONEY?! Shit. Note to self: rerun singles ad. Bigger penis this time. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the questionableness that I’ll never need because I always sit down.