Finally, we can all sleep a little easier at night knowing Waldo is at 76 Putney High St, Wandsworth, UK. But why is he waving ? Did he want to be found ? Or is it really *tearing off mask* OLD MAN JENK….woops. Sorry about the face, Waldo. Google Maps via Where’s Waldo? On Google Street View [neatorama] Thanks to Romeo, Ryan from Calgary and Claire, who can find Waldo like it’s a sixth sense. But it isn’t really, right ?

Want a pillow that looks like a giant condom wrapper? Who doesn’t? Handcrafted and silk screened by Etsy seller LittleElk, each $35 pillow actually comes with a little pocket for holding normal-size pecker protectors (or, in your case, XS). Just wait till you bring a woman home and she sees this thing. Boy are you gonna let her down! Kidding, kidding — like you’d ever bring a woman home! LittleElk’s Etsy Page via Put a Giant Condom On Your Bed [gizmodo]

Remember how you heard J.J. Abrams snuck R2-D2 somewhere in the new Star Trek movie ? And remember how you kept going back to the theater with the hopes of spotting him? God, you need a hobby. I dunno, World of Warcraft or something. Anyway, thanks to the recent release of the film and newfangled slow-motion technology, the droid has been spotted. The blog Gizmodo has located the brave droid’s appearance, and frankly, it’s no surprise that 99.999% of the world couldn’t spot the “Star Wars” star. R2-D2 appears for about one microsecond during a battle scene. Floating across the screen from left to right, the droid appears to be enjoying himself, however briefly. Well, there he is. Finally, we can all sleep at night. Together, in a big pile like in Where The Wild Things Are the one time they’re all happy before Max proceeds to eff everything up. And speaking of which: you run away from my home and guess what — there isn’t going to be any chocolate cake waiting for you when you get back. There’s gonna be a locked door. And maybe a belt so you can whip yourself if you’re lucky . Confirmed: R2-D2 Finally Discovered In Star Trek [gizmodo] via Found: R2-D2 in ‘Star Trek’ [yahoomovies] Thanks to jessica, Matty and Lunarion, who spotted him the first time but didn’t want to say anything because they didn’t want to ruin it for the rest of you. Plus, they make great friends because they can keep secrets.

PearlyDreams (not what I thought it was either) Natural Sleep Enhancing Toothpaste is supposed to help you fall asleep after brushing your teeth at night. Me? I just chloroform myself and pass out on the bathroom floor. PearlyDreams (endorsed by Aerosmith’s Brad Whitford, so you know it’s legit) is toothpaste with Melatonin, Balm Mint, Valerian and Passionflower inside, all of which should combine to ease you into a peaceful slumber. Pfft, who brushes their teeth anymore? I don’t know about you, but I have robots that live in my gums and are programmed to come out and scrub my teeth clean every four hours. Sometimes they throw dance parties on my tongue and *WHOA!* Jesus, I was just having the worst nightmare. This toothpaste is designed to knock you unconscious [dvice]

First of all, I’d like to apologize for taking so long to grade your haiku , but I took my time and read EVERY SINGLE ONE. I just wasn’t expecting 1,600 entries, since I didn’t even get that many comments ON MY BIRTHDAY . Read: everyone who entered but didn’t wish me a happy birthday was disqualified. I jest. But seriously, you all did great and I’m very proud of the quality of poetry (most of) you wrote. Also, a bunch of you are clearly special needs. But that’s okay, so am I. We’ll have more contests in the future just as soon as people contact me with free swag to give away (I’m looking at you, Mercedes). Also, I can’t stress how near impossible it was to choose winners. I haven’t slept in four days trying to sort through all this awesome. And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the winners: Grand Prize: 407. AM Powered by man flesh Robots hunt down last blogger Cry Geekologie Runners Up (in no particular order): 1014. pellaz Red skies born in flame Metal masters torment us Prophet was ignored 74. Matt On the internet, Dangerous to go alone… Take Geekologie 1221. well thats nice The Robots bring doom So before we are all killed Post Zelda Side Boob There you have it, I guess I was really feeling Zelda and the robot apocalypse (but don’t think I didn’t enjoy your dinosaur entries — they made me so hot!). I will be contacting the winners tomorrow. And again, it really was impossible to choose winners. I had the field narrowed down to 190 (including yours) and had to choose four. But don’t worry, you’ll win next time. Thanks for participating everyone, and I don’t care what everybody else says: you’re all winners in my book. Get Buckyballs

Some guy went and built his son an AT-AT themed bunk bed. And by themed I mean it’s actually an AT-AT . It almost makes me wish I had had a custom bunk bed growing up. But sleeping in the garage clutching a gas can builds character, right? THEN WHY AM I STILL ONLY A LEVEL 2 BLOGGER?! Dad Builds Imperial Walker Bed for Himself His Son [gizmodo]

The Hi-Can luxury bed has everything you’ve ever wanted in a bed minus a bathroom and snack bar. Oh, and dancing pole . I like to strip myself to sleep. A theater screen pulls down at the foot of the bed for viewing television or movies. An integrated personal computer system means you can work or surf the web in bed as well. Game consoles are built in for added entertainment value. Lights for reading and shades for sleeping are also fully integrated. Eh, it’s a little too weird looking for my taste. Besides, I’ve been sleeping on a pile of clothes for the past two years and, quite frankly, I think your mom likes it just fine. BU-BU-BU-BURN! But seriously, wonderful lady. Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a brief video.

The Kush is a $55 (PLUS S&H!) piece of molded plastic women put between their breasts before bed to “gently support and cushion the weight of a woman’s breasts”. $55, really? For $10 I’ll come over and slip my own, much more natural breast supporter between those puppies. Obviously, I’m talking about a rolling pin. Ladies? Come on — I’ll let you make cookies in the morning! Kush infomercial makes everyone feel good [adfreak] Thanks to Todd and Jcon, who are selling empty soda cans for $5. But if you’re worried your breasts might crush a can, call me.

3M Performance Plus Duct Tape 8979 was designed for use in nuclear power plants . Because let’s face it: even nuclear power plant employees like to half-ass repair jobs. I know I feel safe. Yes, 3M’s Performance Plus Duct Tape is designed for use in nuclear power plants. It improves upon regular duct tape by working at temperatures of up to 200 degrees. It also can be removed without leaving a residue, it’s waterproof, and you can easily write on it. And it’s even available to laypeople for a mere $14 per roll. Wow, we really need to get some. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?! If you answered “nuclear duct-tape my roommate to his office chair and start beating the compressed gas canister with a broomstick” then you are! 3M’s nuclear grade duct tape means business [dvice]