You ever wanted to see an old-ass Korean commercial featuring Robocop hocking fried chicken strips? You’re sick as f*** if you have. But this is it anyways, because I cater to you sickos. With a bowtie and silver platter and the whole nine yards. But if you think for one second I won’t spike your drink, you’ve got another thing coming. Namely, a spiked drink. And then I’m gonna gulp it down right in front of you. HIYO, gettin’ crunk on the job! Haha, what do you mean I’m fired? Youtube Thanks to victor, who doesn’t buy any products endorsed by robots. Buy human!

Radical is the opposite of what I was thinking. A cowbot riding a velociraptor around like a common horse ? It’s enough to make me sick to my stomach . Speaking of which: mixing soymilk and OJ doesn’t make an Orange Julius. But it does make you throw up in your mouth a little (high-five Facebook friends — you know what I’m talking about!). Anyway, today I’m gonna try adding sugar. Picture and Picture Thanks to Alex, who once went to a dinosaur rodeo and said it made him sick. You must have gone to the wrong kind Alex (I’ll be in the closet).

Seen here in one of the world’s most pathetic photographs, Douglas Hines chats it up with his sex robot “Roxxxy” about soccer (and he wonders why he needs a sex robot ). The anatomically-correct robot, who can even snore, has an articulated skeleton that can move like a person but can’t walk or independently move its limbs. There is Wild Wendy, who is outgoing and adventurous, Frigid Farrah, who is reserved and shy, a young unnamed doll with a naïve personality, “matriarchal kind of caring” Mature Martha and S & M Susan, who is geared for more adventurous types. Coming with a laptop the doll, priced between US$7,000 (£4,350) to US$9,000 (£5,993), was unveiled at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas at the weekend. Inspiration for the sex robot sprang from the September 11, 2001 attacks, he said, where a friend died and he vowed to store his personality forever. WTF!? Honoring the memory of a friend by humping his likeness in sex-robot form? Listen, I don’t want to be honored if that’s how they’re doing it these days. Just shoot my body out of a cannon and call it a day. Foxy ‘Roxxxy’: world’s first ’sex robot’ can talk about football [telegraph] Thanks to Spenny “human advocat”, Brad B, Zerv, Steve P, TobyRaider, Brandon, Ben, Kyle, M3ntal, The Harbinger of Dooooooooom, Jasmine, dez, J.D., Mollie, Jack and Shannon, who don’t do robots. Literally or figuratively.

This is a video of a Tomy i-SOBOT that some deranged sicko made custom weapons for and then let loose to wreak havoc on a table in his living room. Why half the scenes involve killing innocent dinosaurs is beyond me, but if if I had to guess I’d say somebody has a death wish . YouTube user Paxshikai is the proud owner of what is potentially the most dangerous i-SOBOT ever, thanks to its arsenal of custom made weapons that includes crossbows, sniper rifles, machine guns, rocket launchers, and even a light saber. In celebration of his 100th (!) YouTube video of an i-SOBOT blowing things up with a variety of weaponry (or doing other weird stuff), Paxshikai put together this compilation video. Uncool dino abuse at 0:35, 1:00, 1:30 - 2:00, 3:10, and 4:05-4:30 (that last scene isn’t for the faint of heart). So, is this how it’s gonna be, Paxshikai? Because I have 0% fear of stomping the shit out of that little dino-killer. And you know what the GW punishment for killing a dinosaur is, don’t you? Paxshikai’s 100th i-SOBOT Video [botjunkie] Thanks to Ben, Spikey DaPikey and Zach, who all belong to an elite squad of robot saboteurs and wear fake mustaches and the whole nine yards.

This is part of a little party planner from Betty Crocker about how to throw a happy-fun robot-themed soiree for a child including a creepy-ass robotic cake (and I thought you were cool !). Also, who would have thought meatball hoagies and turkey-spinach (I will whip your monkey ass, Popeye!) wraps were the perfect accompaniment to A CAKE OF DEATH? Not cool, Betty, not cool. Favorite Betty: Crocker White Snap, replaced by a Golden Girl! That speaks volumes. Robots Rule! Birthday Party [bettycrocker] Thanks to Jenny, who knows a good old fashioned dino-party is the way to go. Rawr? RAAAAAAAWR!

How would you like this creepy little bastard staring at your ass when you’re performing squats? Or maybe holding your feet while you do crunches ? Or maybe you’ve got to be out of your got-damn mind! Bandit is helping the University of Southern California Center for Robotics and Embedded Systems conduct a study on exercise training. 70 volunteers of all ages (including 20 people aged 60 or older living in retirement homes) will have either Bandit himself or Bandit on video as a trainer, and the researchers will try to figure out if the physical presence of the robot makes a difference. That’s right, they named him Bandit . As in, “Give me all your internal organs!” Listen, you want me to tell you whether a robot’s presence helps you lose weight? It does — and I’ll prove it. SEND IN THE ROOMBA! *Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!* There, I feel four pounds lighter already. Oh, and I’m not cleaning that shit up either. Video of the little jerkbag after the jump.

The Bender House looks like Bender’s dome from Futurama . If you’ve never seen Futurama I’m going to assume you don’t have a television or internet so you probably aren’t even reading this. Unless they print out copies of Geekologie and distribute them in Africa , which, I think we can all agree, is the best idea you’ve ever heard. Anyway, I’m gonna go ahead and start taking bets on how many beers it takes me to crash out of Bender’s right eye and lay bleeding in the driveway — oh — oh — *crash* Fourteen and a couple buttery nipples. Now somebody call 911 411, this guy needs a pizza. I want this house [warmingglow] Thanks to Marcie, who used to live in a house that looked like Robbie the Robot but it mysteriously burnt down. *whistling* Weird.

Been waiting for someone to hack a bunch of Roombas to play Pac-Man ? Me neither, but somebody did AND YOU’RE GOING TO WATCH THEM OR I’M GOING TO TOOTHPICK YOUR EYES OPEN AND MAKE YOU. The vacuum, long an instrument for chasing cats, has now been turned against its own. What better use for automatic home appliances than to have them chase each other in classic video game style? Built using our spare time, Roomba Pac-Man is designed to showcase the extensive Unmanned Aerial System software suite that we have developed to support our personal research. It was also a great opportunity to use some of our skills for our own entertainment. Neat idea, but did you have to use robots? Why not kittens ? I mean, you just handed over like $1,500 to the iRobot company. Which, despite the number of emails I’ve sent, the government still refuses to classify as a terrorist organization. OPEN YOUR EYES YOU BUREAUCRATIC BUTTPLUGS! Unless….OMG the government’s in bed with the robots! Initializing expatriation! New Mexico here I come. Project Site Thanks to Jonny S, mary, Jackie and Boomer, who vacuum the old fashioned way: with a shaggy dog taped to a broken tree branch.

ROPID is a little robot created by Robo Garage (burn it down with an oily rag!) whose name combines the words ‘robot’ and ‘rapid’. Very clever. Or should I say vever ? I’m gonna stick with very clever. Anyway, this is a video of ROPID showing off his moves at a press conference . He (sometimes) responds to voice commands and can run (which technically isn’t running, just walking fast), dance and jump . Plus look kinda cute . There, I said it — just because you hate something with all your heart doesn’t mean you can’t find it beautiful. Take Edward Cullen for example. ROPID Can Jump And Run, Almost [botjunkie] Thanks to partychancer, fabian, Xkrimeg, Richthegringo, Harsh and Mira, who aren’t ashamed to admit they’ve thought about what it would be like to be with a robot romantically. Bad move, guys — burn them at the stake!

I’m pretty sure half the people that sent this in thought it’s an actual robot , but being the astute robot slaya that I am, it wasn’t hard for me to tell this is just a jackass in a robot costume. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still burn that bitch like a witch (or doobie), he just doesn’t pose the threat an actual robot would. Or DOES he? *pew pew!* He doesn’t. Youtube and Youtube (longer, 9:00 video) Thanks to Rich the destroyer, paul, KennethJ, Ted, Mungo9000, chris, Albert, Tuggis, karrameg, Steven, hatcher, Big Bug, parking block and Wendy, who actually knew it was a person the whole time and just wanted to scare me.