The Porn Detection Stick may look like an ordinary USB drive with ” Porn Detection Stick” printed on the side, but it’s not! Wait, maybe it is. *reading* No, no it’s not. Described as a “robust illicit image detection device designed to protect your family, business or organization,” the Porn Detection Stick is a USB drive you plug into your computer to hunt down dirty files — specifically, images, and it even claims to go after ones you’ve deleted. The Stick apparently makes its job harder than just immediately popping up and say, “Yep, there’s pornography here!” by instead scanning your photos for telltale signs of naughtiness such as exposed flesh, suggestive curvature and “body part separation.” Thankfully, the device only works for images, so saucy Excel spreadsheets are still a go. Isn’t that right, you naughty little cells? OMG, OMG — PIE CHAAAAAAART! Product Site via Porn Detection Stick roots out naughty files, even deleted ones [dvice] Thanks to Closet Nerd, who doesn’t find porn, porn finds him.

Flickr user rediv (aka Alan M) went and made himself some sexy LEGO fembots . Why? I dunno, he’s sick in the head or something. Or maybe he just needs somebody to talk to (get a fish , God!). Isn’t that right, Mr. Tickles? You’re my friend, aren’t you? Mr. Tickles? MR. TICKLES? OKAY, WHO THE F*** FED MY FISH AN OMELET?! Hit the jump for a couple other shots, including an ass one, because you have issues.

Because holding your head up on your own is for poor people, there’s a $20 device that does all the heavy lifting for you. Fun fact: did you know the average adult-sized head weighs 8-12 lbs? Yeah, well mine weighs 18 because my brain is so big. It’s the size of a beach ball BUT ISN’T FILLED WITH HOT AIR! Sand. It’s mostly sand. Plus airplane glue. The theory behind this neck traction device is that you will experience less pain if you don’t have to hold up your own head. This blow up collar is meant to be good for pinched nerves, tension headaches and osteoarthritis. Plus it makes you look cool. Just don’t go pumping the blow-up bulb too much or you’re gonna end up looking like a Kayan neck-ring woman. Which is to say, sexy . DO IT! DO IT OR YOU WILL NEVER MARRY! Neck Traction a Pleasant Reminder Of Why You Shouldn’t Buy Medical Devices From Gift Shops [uberreview]

It was only a matter of time: a case for Apple’s iPad that looks like a giant sanitary napkin . I know, I’m puking in my shoes even as I type. BURN HOT WINGS BURN. Introducing Hip Handmaids’ exclusive iMaxi–the only Apple iPad case made with protective wings! With its durable vinyl outer layer and plush, quilted-cotton sleeve, the iMaxi helps keep your iPad clean and dry. Plus, the iMaxi’s Velcro-latched, advanced wing design wraps snugly around your device, so your iPad always stays where it should. Best of all, it shields it from all those unsightly and embarrassing data leaks that would make any motherboard worry! The cases cost $30 and come in all white, or with an even more disturbing “bloody” red interior (pic after the jump). WTF?! I’m all for prop-comedy but even Gallagher has the draw the line somewhere…. Did anybody else just flashback to the video of the girl crushing the watermelon ? Hit the jump to see the bloodier version.

The undeniable pinnacle of computer peripherals , the Fast Fingers keyboard is a $20 example of the opposite of that. It does allow you to choose between a standard ASDF keyboard layout and an alphabetically ordered one though. But is that all? NO SIR, BECAUSE IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 15-MINUTES I’LL THROW IN THE ABILITY TO ACTIVE 12 DIFFERENT HOTKEYS TO TYPE THINGS LIKE ‘ASAP’, ‘CYA’, ‘THX’, ‘THC’, ‘PCP’, ‘YOUDOWNWITHOPP?’ and ‘YEAHYOUKNOWME’. Well hotdog and coldcat my friends this sounds like an unbelievable deal! Can you tell I belong on QVC? Because I do. Also on the front of $3 bills. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the — now where’s my ‘POS’ button?

The undeniable pinnacle of computer peripherals , the Fast Fingers keyboard is a $20 example of the opposite of that. It does allow you to choose between a standard ASDF keyboard layout and an alphabetically ordered one though. But is that all? NO SIR, BECAUSE IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 15-MINUTES I’LL THROW IN THE ABILITY TO ACTIVE 12 DIFFERENT HOTKEYS TO TYPE THINGS LIKE ‘ASAP’, ‘CYA’, ‘THX’, ‘THC’, ‘PCP’, ‘YOUDOWNWITHOPP?’ and ‘YEAHYOUKNOWME’. Well hotdog and coldcat my friends this sounds like an unbelievable deal! Can you tell I belong on QVC? Because I do. Also on the front of $3 bills. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the — now where’s my ‘POS’ button?

I’m pretty sure these $50 Supine Reading Glasses have been around for awhile because I remember using them to look up girls’ skirts while breakdancing, but here they are, just in case you didn’t know they existed . Think of them as periscopes. Really dorky-ass periscopes you wear to bed. Booboobooboop — booboobooboop. Reading while lying down tends to involve propping your head up with uncomfortable pillow arrangements, often with your neck bent in angles that will result in a moderate amount of pain the following day. These reading glasses bend light 90º to save you that trouble. Not to brag or anything, but did you know one time I strong-armed light and bent it 365º? Because I did. Sure it created a worm-hole and swallowed my neighbor’s cat, but NO, FOR THE LAST TIME I SWEAR TO GOD THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED I DID NOT BACK OVER HIM (what kind of animal falls asleep behind a f***ing tire?!). Product Site via Supine Reading Glasses Reduce Need to Raise Head [uberreview]

In terribly God-awful news, Korea’s proposed Robot Land , a robot themed amusement park, has now received initial investment and a first round of conceptual drawings. *gulp* I haven’t been more scared of an amusement park since one of those animatronic dolls from ‘It’s A Small World’ tried jumping in my boat to grope me. According to Plastic Pals , a group of private investors recently met with the city council (probably Masan’s city council, as Robot Land’s city council has yet to be built) to hash out details, with the result of the government ponying up some $229 million of a promised $600 million. But not everyone is happy about all this — indeed, organizers of Incheon City’s robot theme park are unamused by the thought of a similar attraction competing for those hard-earned tourist dollars. Wait — two competing robotic theme parks? What the hell’s the matter with you, Korea? You think I won’t boycott you? I will boycott you. Korean Geekologie operatives, report in! Okay, now this is important: are any of you comfortable smuggling kimchi in your pants? Robot Land theme park gets investors, conceptual renders [engadget] Thanks to CoinOperatedBoi, timpeva, Raul, patvince, NeoAaron and XorKaya, who wonder why they sell season passes when all the rides are designed to kill you.

Allegedly Google plans to feature the interiors of participating retail stores on Google Maps . Because, well, I’m not really sure why. Something to do with controlling the world though, that’s a given. The report comes from Search Engine Land, which was contacted by a New York company called Oh Nuts. Apparently the almond-monger recently got a visit from camera-toting Google guys, who photographed their entire store, six feet at a time, in every direction. So essentially, you’d be able to see a storefront in Street View, click on it, and check out the interior for inventory, cleanliness, layout, etc. Interesting, Google, but you know what would be even more helpful? Live webcams in Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms. That would be huge. And speaking of huge — go ahead and throw some in the plus-size stores as well. I LIKE ‘EM THICK! I’m serious — if I can’t stand comfortably in one leg of a woman’s panties I….throw that pair back and try another dryer. Google Wants to Add Store Interiors to Maps [gizmodo] Thanks to Craig, who’s only interested in pet store cams. Keep the tips coming, Craig!

Allegedly Google plans to feature the interiors of participating retail stores on Google Maps . Because, well, I’m not really sure why. Something to do with controlling the world though, that’s a given. The report comes from Search Engine Land, which was contacted by a New York company called Oh Nuts. Apparently the almond-monger recently got a visit from camera-toting Google guys, who photographed their entire store, six feet at a time, in every direction. So essentially, you’d be able to see a storefront in Street View, click on it, and check out the interior for inventory, cleanliness, layout, etc. Interesting, Google, but you know what would be even more helpful? Live webcams in Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms. That would be huge. And speaking of huge — go ahead and throw some in the plus-size stores as well. I LIKE ‘EM THICK! I’m serious — if I can’t stand comfortably in one leg of a woman’s panties I….throw that pair back and try another dryer. Google Wants to Add Store Interiors to Maps [gizmodo] Thanks to Craig, who’s only interested in pet store cams. Keep the tips coming, Craig!