This past weekend, teen and pre-teen girls ran to get into New Moon quicker than they run to get into a codependent, embarrassingly long-term relationship with some dude from high school, and the film opened to the third highest weekend of all time. Here’s how it all panned out: 1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon - Fucking hell, $140.7 million ? Stephanie Meyers can finally afford to get the experimental surgery to fuse solid gold sparkles into her skin. A few thousand times. 2. The Blind Side - $34.5 million . Pretty decent considering its tough vampire competition, and how it looked like such an utter POS. 3. 2012 - $26.5 million . They Mayans were right. They always predicted, ” 2012 will make more than it deserves given its poor critical reception, but what more would you expect from the brutish hoi polloi?” 4. Planet 51 - Ouch, $12.6 million . You have to figure paying someone to come up with the tagline “there’s no space like home” probably cost that much. Unfortunately. 5. A Christmas Carol - $12.2 million , but that could easily get a boost in upcoming weeks, as we get closer to the season when audiences want to see a terrifying old man effigy move around in creepily unnatural ways while Jim Carrey shouts. Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

This past weekend, teen and pre-teen girls ran to get into New Moon quicker than they run to get into a codependent, embarrassingly long-term relationship with some dude from high school, and the film opened to the third highest weekend of all time. Here’s how it all panned out: 1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon - Fucking hell, $140.7 million ? Stephanie Meyers can finally afford to get the experimental surgery to fuse solid gold sparkles into her skin. A few thousand times. 2. The Blind Side - $34.5 million . Pretty decent considering its tough vampire competition, and how it looked like such an utter POS. 3. 2012 - $26.5 million . They Mayans were right. They always predicted, ” 2012 will make more than it deserves given its poor critical reception, but what more would you expect from the brutish hoi polloi?” 4. Planet 51 - Ouch, $12.6 million . You have to figure paying someone to come up with the tagline “there’s no space like home” probably cost that much. Unfortunately. 5. A Christmas Carol - $12.2 million , but that could easily get a boost in upcoming weeks, as we get closer to the season when audiences want to see a terrifying old man effigy move around in creepily unnatural ways while Jim Carrey shouts. Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Films for those with an unnatural obsession with Robert Pattinson and those without such an affliction hit theaters this weekend. Here are your options: The Twilight Saga: New Moon Director: Chris Weitz Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner Good if you want to see: you know full well exactly what this is. You can stop pretending. Planet 51 Director: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Jessica Biel Good if you want to see: a Twilight Zone -esque “it turns out man is the alien!” concept mixed with E.T. and crammed into the broad, animated family comedy mold; the cast of The Rundown vocally reunited for some reason The Blind Side Director: John Lee Hancock Starring: Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron Good if you want to see: Sandra Bullock forcing her way through a Southern accent to show how rich, white, trophy wives are capable of changing the lives of a poor, black kid if the kid is giant enough to be good at football; the exchange, “You’re changin’ that boy’s life,” “No… he’s changin’ mine” (oof!); an explanation for the shot in the trailer where the biological son and foster son are high-fiving over a table covered in assorted condiments (if you find that out, please tell me personally) Broken Embraces (limited) Director: Pedro Almodóvar Starring: Penélope Cruz Good if you want to see: an Almodóvar film. If you’re into his stuff, go for it; if not, don’t. If you don’t know, see Talk to Her or something first, OK? Red Cliff (limited) Director: John Woo Starring: Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Tekeshi Kaneshiro, other names you probably won’t recognize Good if you want to see: some huge battles between old fashioney Chinese warriors; some warlords and generals talking with subtitles to explain why all these huge battles keep happening Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (limited) Director: Werner Herzog Starring: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes Good if you want to see: who know what you’ll see in a semi-remake of Bad Lieutenant directed by Werner Herzog and starring Nicolas Cage (besides the imaginary iguanas seen in the trailer)? It’s probably going to be pretty strange, though.

var entry_id = "12494"; var entry_tags = "Chloe Sevigny,Christina Ricci,Jessica Alba,Jessica Biel,Prada Book Launch,smoking"; var preview = "jalba111309prada.jpg"; var x17video_id = "small.jalba111309prada.mp4"; Last night Jessica Biel, along with Jessica Alba, Chloe Sevigny, Rachel Zoe, Emma Roberts and others, attended the…

To have such a implicitly John Goodman alien character not voiced by John Goodman is criminal. Criminal! ‘Planet 51′ Poster [IMPA]

We’ve all seen E.T. .* We know what happens when an alien accidentally finds itself stranded on Earth: a boy tends to him, the government tries to capture him, and then the audience cries. But what if that alien were MAN??? And instead of Earth, it were PLANET SHREK! What then? Basically the same thing, but with more broad comedy and generic characters:

My sympathies go out to all the theater workers who will be hearing that for the next several months. In actuality, this poster is for Planet 51 , a family-oriented, computer-animated comedy about some green, antennaed… Yeah, I guess it’s sort of Four Shreks. Planet 51 Poster [IMPA]

…the pop-culture-laden, celebrity-voiced green-creature-filled world of Shrek , the space traveler in suburbia scenario of Suburban Commando , and the outsider invading the idyllic ’50s neighboorhood-ness of Pleasantville ? I think that works.