I don’t know about you, but I shoot to kill. Especially when it comes to protecting my castle (rent-controlled apartment). So I’m gonna have to pass on the Koosh bullets . AND seconds. Really, I’m stuffed. Lightfield has been selling these projectiles to law enforcement agencies and wildlife officials for years. Each round is filled with a soft projectile that resembles a koosh ball. They look like toys, because they’re made by a Chinese toy factory. The best thing about them is that they aren’t likely to kill someone even if they are fired at point blank range. They’re so soft that they’re almost incapable of penetrating the body. Eh. I’m a little hesitant to shoot toys at an intruder only to have them return fire with adult bullets. No, I think I’ll be sticking to my laser blaster, thank you very much. And I’m not just saying that because I accidentally glued it to my arm training for the robot wars, but that’s exactly what happened. A closeup of the projectiles after the jump.

Laser Crosswalks are the crosswalks of the future . You can tell because it has ‘ laser ‘ in the name. Pretty much anything with ‘ laser ‘ in it is gonna be a huge hit in the future (including cereal ). Don’t believe me? Just stare at this laser eye-toy for a minute. Aaaaand now you’re blind. The Virtual Wall is designed as a replacement for traffic lights and if made would use “plasma laser beams” to project silhouettes of moving people into the path of oncoming traffic. Supposedly this would calm traffic and make drivers more careful around the soft humans as they cross the street. I’d say it would be more likely that the appearance of giant red figures before the windshield would cause panic, crashing and general mayhem. Hell yes, giant red laser-people. *pew pew* means walk! Plus, if you try driving through it the lasers should cut you up into little pieces. Don’t act like we don’t have that technology! We have that technology. Laser Wall Replaces Traffic Light [wired] Thanks to Fnahra tha evur livin, who loves lasers almost as much as I do but not quite because I have laser-vision. Yeah, so there , Fnahra.

In a feat of extreme-mowing , two men in Cambridge, England used a crane to lift a lawnmower high enough to trim one’s overgrown hedges. Nice, guys, I like the way you think — EXXXTREME!! The operator, who did not want to be named, is now nursing a broken hand, but said it wasn’t a fall from the mower that caused the injury but one off the crane. He admitted it was not the safest method of trimming the hedge, but said it was all done as a bit of a joke. They wanted to film the stunt, put it on the internet and see how many hits it got, but in the end had no video camera. That, my friends, is pathetic. Not only a broken hand BUT NO VIDEO. WTF?! I demand a re-do. But this time with fireworks shooting out the back. Oooh, and bikini girls. Plus more injuries. I suggest fraying the cables and loosening the mower blade. YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE CENTURY! And I want producer credit. High rider trims his hedge [stuff] Thanks to Patrick, who trims his hedge the old fashioned way: with a straight-razor. Yikes!

2 Love My Lips is $16 lip gloss that comes with test strips to determine if your drink has been roofied with drugs like GHB or Ketamine. It’s a smart idea and I urge everyone to keep a close eye on their beverages at all times (and not just because I’ll ninja-drink that shit , but I 100% will). “If a drink tastes funny, or you are suspicious something is amiss simply dab the ends of the taper in your drink and if they turn blue tell your friends immediately and get help from Security and the Police.” Seriously, roofies are no laughing matter and if you suspect your drink’s been spiked I want you to ask me to chug it. BECAUSE I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU. Knight in shining armor? No, I’m trying to forget that bad . Drug Detecting Lip Gloss Sniffs Out Roofies [gizmodo]

First of all, I’m not convinced liquid oxygen is real because, if it is, why can’t I breath underwater ? I want a merman, damnit. But if it is real, this is a video of Theo Gray lighting a charcoal grill with the stuff. Apparently it’s dangerous, but I find it hard to believe. I mean, it’s just a liquid . Jesus, it’s not like I just ate and wanna go swimming in the stuff. Lighting a Grill with Liquid Oxygen Is the Opposite of Safe [gizmodo] Thanks to Van, who may or may not house a real husky bastard down by the river.

You know how all those high-voltage capacitors have warning signs that tell you not to sit on them or play around them but you do anyways because you’re an ultra-L337 badass from the planet Choke-slam? Well this is a video demonstration of what can happen if a drunk electrical worker accidentally left some of the wires exposed and you sat on them. Except, in this demo they use a watermelon instead of your buttocks. The same thing would happen to your ass though, trust me. You see these? *knock knock knock* Wooden cheeks. I’m just like George Washington! Except way handsomer and a better leader. So, This Is What Those High Voltage Danger Signs Mean [gizmodo] Thanks to Harrison, who actually taught ‘ol George how to make love like an eagle falling out of the sky .

You know how all those high-voltage capacitors have warning signs that tell you not to sit on them or play around them but you do anyways because you’re an ultra-L337 badass from the planet Choke-slam? Well this is a video demonstration of what can happen if a drunk electrical worker accidentally left some of the wires exposed and you sat on them. Except, in this demo they use a watermelon instead of your buttocks. The same thing would happen to your ass though, trust me. You see these? *knock knock knock* Wooden cheeks. I’m just like George Washington! Except way handsomer and a better leader. So, This Is What Those High Voltage Danger Signs Mean [gizmodo] Thanks to Harrison, who actually taught ‘ol George how to make love like an eagle falling out of the sky .

This is a video of an F-18 Hornet buzzing some guy’s head so close you can taste the jet fuel . Now I’m not saying this thing would kill you if it hit you, but it would certainly mess your hair up. Also, not to brag or nothin’, but one time I let a jet land ON MY FACE. Now who’s the man?! F-18 Hornet Ultra Low High Speed Fly By [todaysbigthing] Thanks to Matt, who once flew a prop-plane through a barn and accidentally hit a chicken.

This crazy damn fool, Kevin Richardson, runs a wildlife refuge in South Africa and has become a member of a pack of lions . It is probably the awesomest and stupidest thing I’ve ever seen (and I once saw a friend jump off the top of his parents’ townhouse with a trashbag parachute). Just sayin’, you remember how Grizzly Man ended, don’t you? SPOILER ALERT : As a giant Timmy Treadwell-shaped grizzly turd. But who am I to judge? I’m just a regular guy who bangs dinos. RAWR! YES….YES….EAT ME NOOOOOOOW! Youtube Thanks to Asbo, who was once accepted into a pod of whales but was later rejected when he tried to suckle one’s teat.

Tactical Corsets are ” high-fashion high-function clothes for empowered women ” and are available with or without body armor depending on the level of “action” you see on a day to day basis. Tactical gear is no longer an all boys club. Tactical Corsets bring female operators MILSPEC features like MOLLE modular pouch attachment webbing and self-adjustable quick-release buckles in a load-bearing carrier designed to support the female form. Count me in. And by me and I mean you, ladies. Okay, and me. What — I look good in black! Also, stilettos . Tactical Corsets Thanks to Watch-303, who once took out a whole tribe of amazon women but made them all pay for their own dinners.