Youtube user TotemX went and made a flipbook starring Super Mario Jesus. Basically SMJ jumps off the cross and proceeds to stomp the hell(!) out of some goombas , tear Bowser in half, and then punt the princess like a football. Which….I’m not entirely sure is what the real SMJWD. Is it, SMJ? What do you say we down some shrooms and look for shapes in Lakitu’s cloud? Youtube Thanks to Tor Inge, who once made a flipbook out of corrugated steel. The dude’s strong.

Printing all your important documents in human blood will save you almost half the dough as HP ink . Plus, you’ll earn the respect of your coworkers, particularly IF YOU USE THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES. It’s true, one time I printed an article in ninja blood and now both the pirates AND vikings do whatever I say. Oh yeah — that’s the spot, Blackbeard, keep scratching. Hey — no laughing Lief, you’re next. HP Ink Costs More Than Human Blood [consumerist] Thanks to jantunes, who once printed a document in dragon blood, opening a portal to a magical land of wizards and shit.

Printing all your important documents in human blood will save you almost half the dough as HP ink . Plus, you’ll earn the respect of your coworkers, particularly IF YOU USE THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES. It’s true, one time I printed an article in ninja blood and now both the pirates AND vikings do whatever I say. Oh yeah — that’s the spot, Blackbeard, keep scratching. Hey — no laughing Lief, you’re next. HP Ink Costs More Than Human Blood [consumerist] Thanks to jantunes, who once printed a document in dragon blood, opening a portal to a magical land of wizards and shit.

That’s not even Pikachu , that’s a stoned -ass Garfield with no stripes after eating a whole pan of lasagna (LOL — he loves that stuff!). Oh — and to the maker: there comes in a time in your life when you realize your own limitations and focus on working within them. That time was well before you made this. Just sayin’. Hit the jump for an equally questionable Sonic.

Google toilet paper : made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: “Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!” HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin’. This Google’s made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget] Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude’s a bear.

I think we all knew this day would come: Envelopes with bacon -flavored adhesive. Geez, these are almost as clever as my invention: nipple flavored envelopes. Which, I think you and I both know is the closest your tongue will ever come. J&D’s, the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, isn’t kidding when they say everything should taste like bacon: They just announced Mmmvelopes, bacon-flavored envelopes. $6.99 for 25 bacon-flavored #10 envelopes, $14.99 for 3 packs of 25….”No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead.” Now I know what you’re thinking, “but how do I keep myself from eating them?” THEY’RE PAPER YOU IDIOTS. Yeah I have no idea. Mmmvelopes: Bacon-Flavored Envelopes from the Makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise [eatmedaily] Thanks to Mih0, who invented chocolate-flavored envelopes a long time ago but that ruthless cocoa mogul Wonka stole his idea.

This is a little stop motion video of a papercrafter constructing a Link model . The model is amazing, and so is the build, so you should check it out. But you shouldn’t check out library books that will get you blacklisted. Or women on the street. BECAUSE I AM AGAINST THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN. Women are people too, you know. Except those crazy bodybuilding ones. They’re wild animals. Youtube Thanks to Jessica, who once made a papercraft model of the Geekologie Writer and then burn it as an effigy. Gee, thanks.

We featured a video of Paperboy in real life earlier this week, and we’re wrapping it up with a video of Paperboy: The Movie. It’s a lot more dramatic than the other one. And before you ask — yes, it made me cry . Thankfully, I cry diamonds . I’m rich, peasants! Youtube Thanks to Sara, who doesn’t read analog papers because that shit’s too oldschool for her. And Jon, who actually made the movie (cast me! cast me!).

This is a video of the Atari classic Paperboy, but in real life. It’s a little longer, and I know most of you have ADD (I’m right here with you), but it’s definitely worth a watch while on the clock . Plus, the guys who made it are loyal Geekologists, and you know how I feel about you readers — I love you all like little sisters! You know, from Bioshock . I’ll harvest every last one of you! Youtube and Funnyordie Thanks to D_rock and cooperanimation, who don’t need paperboys because they only read Geekologie. Smart. Plus you’re saving trees!

Tired of shooting at the same boring silhouettes when you’re getting your gun on? Well why not prepare for the imminent zombie apocalypse and get your pew on at the same time with these zombie-themed shooting targets? Full color Zombie Poster Targets. Designed for fun at the range or for your next league’s Zombie Shoot. Features shaded scoring lines in both head & brain that cannot be seen at shooting distances. Prices start at $1.50 a pop and decrease with quantity ordered. I just bought 1,000 so I could get them for $0.69 AND I DON’T EVEN OWN A GUN! Now lasers, lasers are a different story. You will never take them from me! I’m looking at you, future Amendment XXXII. Cold dead hands, just sayin’. *pew pew!* Product Site Thanks to Patrick, who once beat a paper zombie target to death with a shovel. You know, for principle.