You won’t actually find the Noah’s Ark burger on any BK menu, but only because the king must have a thing against deliciousness. Or, I dunno, 10,000 calorie menu items . Whatever the case, the Noah’s Ark burger consists of two of every kind of patty BK has to offer: beef, veggie, chicken and fish, plus bacon. Can you say dangerously delicious?! I can, it’s spelled H-E-A-R-T A-T-T-A-C-K. Gotdamn I want one. But with more cheese. CHEESE NOAH NEEDS MORE CHEESE. Hit the jump for a couple more shots (including the receipt with requisite diet soda), a video of a guy pounding the thing, and a link to even more pics of the Biblical-ness.

You won’t actually find the Noah’s Ark burger on any BK menu, but only because the king must have a thing against deliciousness. Or, I dunno, 10,000 calorie menu items . Whatever the case, the Noah’s Ark burger consists of two of every kind of patty BK has to offer: beef, veggie, chicken and fish, plus bacon. Can you say dangerously delicious?! I can, it’s spelled H-E-A-R-T A-T-T-A-C-K. Gotdamn I want one. But with more cheese. CHEESE NOAH NEEDS MORE CHEESE. Hit the jump for a couple more shots (including the receipt with requisite diet soda), a video of a guy pounding the thing, and a link to even more pics of the Biblical-ness.

Dressing for Pleasure is an online BSDM and other fetishwear supplier that I 100% do not buy adult-sized diapers from. I’m serious, I don’t. The whole dressing like a baby thing freaks me out (ahem, Japan ). Anyway, DFP decided to advertise their whips and gimp masks on ketchup bottles, encouraging bar patrons to spank the hell out of the bottoms. Clever, but I’ll still gonna dig around in there with a french fry to really get the ketchup flowing. And no, that wasn’t a sexual euphemism. Yes, yes it was. A BRILLIANT ONE I MIGHT ADD. Picture (with a couple more butts if you’re interested) Thanks to Trevor, who one spanked a bottle so hard the mustard got scared and threw itself off the table.

In this world there are cakes , and then there are cakes . This is one of the latter. Mostly because it’s all glittery . You see, I love glittery things — in my mouth! Haha, not you, Edward — nice try though. F***ing skeeze . Nothing says happy birthday like a good old fashion droid head on a platter Collaborative effort with my other friend for ~ Jasmeralda’s birthday. I’m glad she talked me into the fondant, I was a little hesitant at first, but it came out nice and without too terribly much fuss. Metallic shine is edible glitter, silver ‘eye’ pieces I sculpted out of marzipan and my friend covered with the glitter. Big box/lens is painted box (painted by her roommate) with plastic painted package piece to make the lens. Light is chopped off ring from party supply store. I added blue food coloring to the yellow part of the cake so his inside was themed, too Fondantastic! You know, I’ve been preaching the benefits of a metallic diet for years now but everyone just looks at me like I’m crazy and asks if I’m really eating fishing weights. You’re gotdamn right I am! Brain food. GoblinQueeen’s DeviantART Thanks to sham, who wouldn’t hesitate to eat some C-3PO brain because dude suuuuucks.

I’m sure taco holders have existed since Mexican cave people, but I’m posting them anyways because I’ve been on a pretty serious binge lately to the point where I’ve been dreaming about Mexican corn ( elote ). And if you think for one second I wouldn’t knife you for a cob, you’ve got another thing coming. Hint: it’s gonna be a stab wound! Tacos may be the most delicious food in the universe, but they’re so unreliable! Their crunchy u-shaped shells just won’t stand on end, no matter how you stack them. Until now, gourmands have simply had to accept the fact that all tacos will fall, spilling their spicy goodness all over the plate. Fortunately, a solution has arrived! The ingenious Taco Holder set safely and securely holds tacos upright, preserving the look and feel of the perfect taco, and preventing unnecessary taco spills. Each Taco Holder consists of a sturdy strip of plastic molded into a wave-like shape that rests securely on any flat surface. Just place a pair of empty shells into the Taco Holder’s grooved shell slots, fill the shells with any combination of ingredients, and then enjoy your tacos at leisure as they remain upright and intact on your plate. Each piece from this lot of 9 brightly-colored taco holders will hold 2 tacos each. Make sure your family never suffers from spilled taco syndrome again by adding these clever Taco Holders to your kitchen arsenal today! Mmmm, count me in. Of course, I still hold up my tacos the old fashioned way: with a ski mask and revolver. GIMME ALL YOUR CHEESE-Y GOODNESS! eBay Auction Thanks to John, who’s never met a taco he didn’t like and should be dubbed an honorary Juan.

Sure the Superbowl has come and gone, but the Saints beat the shit out of the Colts , did they not? WHO DAT?! It’s me, silly — the GW! That masterpiece of culinary greatness (and bacon) is called the Bacon Lombardi Trophy, or Bacombardi Trophy for short, and thanks to a great find from our friends over at BBQ Addicts blog, we now know what a Super Bowl trophy made entirely out of bacon looks like. According to their post, this monstrosity of bacon madness was created by Ben “Sweet Lou” Krout, and naturally, it was made for their recent Super Bowl party. All I can say after seeing the pictures is “Damn, that is beautiful.” Damn, that is beautiful. But what I want to know is what the actual armature is made of. Pound cake? Corn dogs? Because I could seriously f*** with some corn dogs right now. The Bacon Lombardi Trophy is God-Like [internationalfoul] Thanks to Doug, who once baked and ate a Stahamley Cup. GOAL!

This is a $16 elemental bacon shirt. It spells ‘BaCoN’ through the clever placement of three periodic elements: barium, cobalt and nitrogen. And I think we can all agree: bacon would be a lot less popular if it actually were barium, cobolt and nitrogen. And not just because it would make your shit shine like a glowstick, but it 100% would. Haha, what do you mean barium isn’t radioactive? SHUT UP, I’LL WEAR THE LAB COAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH. And the pants . Kidding, KIDDING — I’m a blogger, remember? ThinkGeek Product Site Thanks to Kevin and André, who’d still eat it anyways. For principle.

This is a slab of bacon . In cake form. I know, I thought it was eel too. Anyway, I’m gonna have to admit I’d have a hard time driving that into me. Mostly because there’s no steering wheel or pedals! *zing!* How about airline food , amirite? First time I’ve ever had to use a barf bag in the back of my pants . Thank you, thank you — you all have been great, don’t forget to tip your bartenders, I’m gonna steal their tip jars after the show. Woops — did I say that out loud? I have a gun. Hit the jump for an eerily realistic Spam cake and an unbelievable bacon & eggs one.

This is an adorable little video of what baking cookies would be like if it were anything similar to running Photoshop . Unfortunately, it’s not. Which is how I managed to burn my old house down. Kidding, KIDDING — I was hoping to catch the ex-wife while she was sleeping. Ssshhhhhh!! Adobe Photoshop Cook [buzzfeed] Thanks to Mary, who is skilled enough to bake casseroles in MS Paint.

Who’s Your Daddy (that’s easy, I am) Real Bacon Homemade Potato Chips ($5) are exactly what they sound like: deliciousness incarnate. Bet you can’t eat just one (bag) you glutton you. We start with the best quality potatoes and add a proprietary blend of some extra-bacony goodness. They will put a grin on your face and promise to test your limits of self-control. It is our stated mission that you have a heightened sense of expectation before opening a bag of our Real Bacon Handmade Potato Chips that is exceeded every single time that bag is opened. Enjoy! Oh I’m going to enjoy all right, ENJOY SUING YOUR PANTS OFF FOR KILLING ME! You think ghosts can’t sue? Ghosts can sue. Just ask Casper. He’s been after that free candy van guy for years for passing out laced candy. Ha, good luck with that, Casper. Say mister, have any Jujyfruits? Product Site via Bacon Potato Chips [uncrate] Thanks to Chuey the midget, who, despite his small size, can still win competitive eating contests.