The Pooch Power Shovel (the quicker, shittier picker-upper ) may look like a leaf blower, but it’s not. It’s also not anything I’d recommend you trying to attach to your genitals, but you know what? Go for it. I’m tired of mothering you. And, honestly, I’m looking forward to the 911 call being leaked. The cordless Pooch Power Shovel sucks the waste directly into specially designed plastic bags making them easy to dispose of (up to 150 on a single charge) and at first glance you might think the clear plastic tube provides an unpleasant view of the business being dealt with, but when used properly the waste apparently never touches the machine or your hands. At $99.50 from Frontgate it’s easily the most expensive pet poo solution I’ve seen, short of hiring someone else to do it, and the refill bags will set you back an additional $19.50 for 50 or $35.50 for 100. It doesn’t seem like that big a piece of crap(!) if you’re only gonna use it in your backyard (I’d still just set the mower as low as it’ll go and shoot shit everywhere), but I’d never carry this thing on a walk. Of course, I said the same thing when they came out with 500lb dumbbells…. Pooch Power Shovel Vacuums Up Poo, Not Small Yap Dogs [ohgizmo]

What better way to honor your favorite film than with a commemorative tattoo on your shoulder? Sure you could just buy the Blu-Ray when it’s released, but come on, that’s for posers. You’re a real fan. Real fans do crazy shit they’ll regret later. Now I know what you’re thinking: Jesus, does that mean the GW really has the t-rex and raptors from Jurassic Park permanently inked on himself? Ha! Do dinosaurs fight across my buttcheeks? That was rhetorical. Of course they do. Avatar Tattoo [avatar.typepad] Thanks to Steve, who’s considering getting a scene from The Notebook on his bicep.

The Cat Hammock Coffee Table was created by Case-Real and is a glass -topped magazine receptacle with a wicker-ish hammock for your feline companions beneath. It’s cool, but your cat would be just as happy sleeping under any coffee table. Or in an empty soda box. Hit the jump for one more shot of the hammock in use.

Solid Alliance’s ‘Crazy Earphones’ are just that: f***ing crazy . They come in styles like “mushroom”, ” katana through your head”, ” arrow through your head” and “extra ears” and will set you back around $22 a set. But what’s $22 for a pair of poor quality ear-buds that’ll make people think you’re insane and cross to the other side of the street. A small price to pay, that’s what! I just bought ten pairs of katanas. HI-YA, SUCKAS! Hit the jump for a better shot in case you’re interested in perusing the merchandise.

This is a video of a flashmob lightsaber fight that took place over the weekend at a mall in Britain. Now I’m not saying I would have screamed and soiled my pants had I been in the midst of all that, but I would have robbed the nearest jewelry store and blamed it on Luke Lightsaber over there. Over 100 Star Wars fans broke into an an massively epic lightsaber fight in Bristols Cabot Circus, a shopping mall in Bristol, England. The flashmob was organized online through facebook, and took place on February 13th 2010. Over 100 people is all it takes to be the world’s largest lightsaber fight? I would have figured it would at least take 1,000. But what do I know about world records? Besides, oh I don’t know, WORLD’S FASTEST LOVER! Aaaaand I’m good. Hit the jump for a longer, more professional video.

Haha, how many of you actually tried ? I did, and I didn’t even screw up once. I mean, not to brag or anything but: TOY BOAT, TOY BOAT, TOY BOYT, TOY BOYT, TWOY BOYT!! Awh, shit. Do-over? Totally minimal block of wood with digital numbers floating across the surface. These clever clocks have a very thin layer of real maple wood veneer that permits the LEDs to shine through. Each one is slightly different due to the natural variation in wood grain. The clocks, similar in design to these rulers , are real and available from SUCK UK for $157. Alternatively, save yourself $157 and nail your cell phone to a log. Which, great for a snack and fits on your back, just sayin’. Product Page Thanks to kira, who doesn’t need a wooden block clock because she has one of those glass bong-y things with the sand in it. Haha, yeah, an hourglass.

Because Snuggies alone don’t suck enough ass, somebody went and invented Pajama Jeans. What are Pajama Jeans? I don’t even want to know. But you do, don’t you? Fine, I’ll randomly copy/paste some paragraphs and hope they do the trick BUT ONLY BECAUSE I’M A HARD-HITTING JOURNALIST. *pow!* : “We were noticing that people were wearing their pajamas on airplanes and in grocery stores. But a lot of people have mixed feelings about it because they think it’s inappropriate and sloppy,” Stacey Buonanno, merchandising manager for The PajamaGram Company, maker of the double duty “denim,” explained to StyleList. “A lot of people wear their workout clothes out. But we thought it would be easy to take a pair of jeans, style them similar to a yoga pant, give them all the jean detailing, but make them stretchy and soft so that you wouldn’t mind wearing them to bed,” she told us. Adding that, “The cool thing about the fabric is that the outside looks like a typical twill but it definitely has more of a jersey feel. And the inside is really, really brushed, so it almost feels like the inside of sweatpants or fleece.” $40 scores a pair. And, for a limited time only, if you send them to me along with $20 I’ll sign them and sleep in them. Extra $10 for a Polaroid of me passed out on the couch with a penis drawn on my face, $5 for a custom stain. It’s really a bargain if you think about it. Drunk. Think about it drunk. Hit the jump for a worthwhile two-minute commercial.

Because Snuggies alone don’t suck enough ass, somebody went and invented Pajama Jeans. What are Pajama Jeans? I don’t even want to know. But you do, don’t you? Fine, I’ll randomly copy/paste some paragraphs and hope they do the trick BUT ONLY BECAUSE I’M A HARD-HITTING JOURNALIST. *pow!* : “We were noticing that people were wearing their pajamas on airplanes and in grocery stores. But a lot of people have mixed feelings about it because they think it’s inappropriate and sloppy,” Stacey Buonanno, merchandising manager for The PajamaGram Company, maker of the double duty “denim,” explained to StyleList. “A lot of people wear their workout clothes out. But we thought it would be easy to take a pair of jeans, style them similar to a yoga pant, give them all the jean detailing, but make them stretchy and soft so that you wouldn’t mind wearing them to bed,” she told us. Adding that, “The cool thing about the fabric is that the outside looks like a typical twill but it definitely has more of a jersey feel. And the inside is really, really brushed, so it almost feels like the inside of sweatpants or fleece.” $40 scores a pair. And, for a limited time only, if you send them to me along with $20 I’ll sign them and sleep in them. Extra $10 for a Polaroid of me passed out on the couch with a penis drawn on my face, $5 for a custom stain. It’s really a bargain if you think about it. Drunk. Think about it drunk. Hit the jump for a worthwhile two-minute commercial.

This is a taxidermied mouse with a flash drive wedged up its ass . It reminds me spying days when I made off with a bunch of top secret files from the Pentagon. Except that wasn’t a flash drive , it was a stack of 5¼-inch floppies. And let me tell you: based on the way I was walking you would’ve sworn they were only 3½-inchers. I sashayed out of there like a f***ing runway model! Hit the jump for a video of the mouse in action (his LED eyes blink during data transfer!).

This is a taxidermied mouse with a flash drive wedged up its ass . It reminds me spying days when I made off with a bunch of top secret files from the Pentagon. Except that wasn’t a flash drive , it was a stack of 5¼-inch floppies. And let me tell you: based on the way I was walking you would’ve sworn they were only 3½-inchers. I sashayed out of there like a f***ing runway model! Hit the jump for a video of the mouse in action (his LED eyes blink during data transfer!).