This is a song called ‘The Dork Anthem’ by two cats named Dave and Brian. Personally, I find the term dork offensive , but that’s just me and I’m official the judge of these things. Geek, sure, but dork ? That’s derogatory. Like not calling me by my proper title: Geekologie Writer, The Handsome Well Endowed. Youtube Thanks to Rusco, who throws geek parties all the time and sleeps with lots of women. Unless he’s married or has a girlfriend, in which case he doesn’t. (Your secret’s safe me with me)

NOTE : Video is NSFW due to anime nudity at 0:25, 0:52, 1:25, 2:39 and 3:25 — so skip those parts. Or don’t, God, you hate your job anyway. This is a cover and music video of The Vapors’ classic, ‘Turning Japanese’ as performed by Kirsten Dunst. I thought you might be into it. Hell, I don’t know, she’s dressed up as the “Akihabara Majokko Princess” and dancing around in the streets. Plus blue hair and a magic wand . And speaking of magic wands: have any of you seen Harry Potter around here lately? I think we might have had a little mix-up. I went to play fetch with my dog and he exploded. Youtube Thanks to Isaac and Marty the farmer, who have both been huge Kirsten Dunst fans since Jumanji. Jesus Christ.

NOTE : Dirty word at 0:50. This is a six minute video about Chat Roulette that Geekologie Readers Alex & Brett made after being inspired by my hard-hitting journalism on the same subject . I thought the most interesting part was the fact that a cute girl that doesn’t say or do anything can keep a guy to stay connected for 8:30, but a boy who looks like Harry Potter had 15 people disconnect on him in 3:25. That sucks, Harry (you should have used magic!). This was a project I did for fun as well as for school. It was mostly interesting despite the fact I can’t shake this feeling the internet is more important than I was or ever will be. Regardless, I think it’s an entertaining piece about how absurd the website Chat Roulette really is. If anyone who frequents chat roulette is wondering, through recording I easily saw over one hundred sets of male genitalia compared to a measly two open welcoming female parts. Wow, worse than a 1/50 chance of seeing a vajayjay versus a vapenis. Those are pretty terrible odds. Wait — where are you going? Haha, not bad enough for you, huh? Enjoy the peeners! Youtube Thanks to Alex & Brett, who claim they undertook the project in the name of science, but I suspect it may have been all the guys playing with themselves. Kidding! Well, half-kidding.

This is a mashup picture of Dexter from Dexter’s Lab and Dexter from that show Dexter about the serial killer . I’ve seen a shit-ton of Dexter’s Lab but only one episode of Dexter because he reminds me too much of myself and that makes me nervous because I don’t want to kill anybody else. I SAID I DON’T WANT TO I DIDN’T SAY I WOULDN’T. I’m coming for you (leave a key under the mat, please). Also, if you could take these sleeping pills that would be great. Wait — those are my vitamins. Dexter-Dexter [loldwell] Thanks to michael, who would kill you for an In-N-Out burger right now.

This is a MacBook sleeve that looks like a newspaper . That way you won’t get robbed unless somebody is stealing old newspapers , WHICH HAPPENS. Alternatively, wrap your laptop in newsprint. The protective carrier comes in four different foreign language models and will set you back around $82. Which is a lot for an old newspaper, unless it says something like ‘LINCOLN SHOT!’ on the front page. Then it’s worth more. Product Site Thanks to Shea, whose butter makes my skin feel rejuvenated.

This is a Jabba the Hutt cake made for somebody’s birthday. I would eat it, despite all the diseases he’s undoubtedly carrying BECAUSE I’M A RISK TAKER. This is my birthday cake this year — Jabba the Hutt. A friend of the family kindly made this for us and I think she did a fantastic job (she also made my iPhone cake 3 years ago). My four-year-old son likes Jabba’s son Rotta and requested that the cake have Jabba and Rotta hugging, so that’s what we did. Jabba is made of chocolate cake, chocolate fudge, and fondant. I mean Jabba looks okay but you know what really got me? The ‘Happy Birthday’ there. I thought it was Photoshop text at first but that shit is totally fondant. I’m calling the Y! Seriously, I want to know what time the pool opens. HIt the jump for several more including one of the cake post-cut.

The Workaholic Pillow Book isn’t so much a book as a bound pillow . A $62 bound pillow. Still, if your boss is stupid enough to think you’re reading when you’re actually asleep at your desk , I want your job. You have a designated parking spot, right? Well I think I just backed into you. Product Site via Workaholic Pillow Is The Only Textbook You’ll Really Need For Higher Learning [ohgizmo]

Haha, how many of you actually tried ? I did, and I didn’t even screw up once. I mean, not to brag or anything but: TOY BOAT, TOY BOAT, TOY BOYT, TOY BOYT, TWOY BOYT!! Awh, shit. Do-over? Totally minimal block of wood with digital numbers floating across the surface. These clever clocks have a very thin layer of real maple wood veneer that permits the LEDs to shine through. Each one is slightly different due to the natural variation in wood grain. The clocks, similar in design to these rulers , are real and available from SUCK UK for $157. Alternatively, save yourself $157 and nail your cell phone to a log. Which, great for a snack and fits on your back, just sayin’. Product Page Thanks to kira, who doesn’t need a wooden block clock because she has one of those glass bong-y things with the sand in it. Haha, yeah, an hourglass.

Haha, how many of you actually tried ? I did, and I didn’t even screw up once. I mean, not to brag or anything but: TOY BOAT, TOY BOAT, TOY BOYT, TOY BOYT, TWOY BOYT!! Awh, shit. Do-over? Totally minimal block of wood with digital numbers floating across the surface. These clever clocks have a very thin layer of real maple wood veneer that permits the LEDs to shine through. Each one is slightly different due to the natural variation in wood grain. The clocks, similar in design to these rulers , are real and available from SUCK UK for $157. Alternatively, save yourself $157 and nail your cell phone to a log. Which, great for a snack and fits on your back, just sayin’. Product Page Thanks to kira, who doesn’t need a wooden block clock because she has one of those glass bong-y things with the sand in it. Haha, yeah, an hourglass.

If you haven’t already seen it, this is a 20-minute review of Avatar by the same monotonously voiced cat who did the nearly hour-long Phantom Menace review . It’s pretty good. Not as good as you’re looking this morning, but God must have put diamonds in your eyes or some shit because you are lookin’ finer than a steak dinner. Are you getting this, romance writers? I’m thinking about holding a workshop. Hit the jump for part two.