I’m not familiar with South Korean girl band Wonder Girls, but, to my credit, I stopped listening to new music in the 90’s. But maybe you have. Maybe you shake your ass to it before bed at night with just your underwear on. That’s cool. Regardless, this is a video of a bunch of stormtroopers dancing to their smash hit ‘Nobody’. And I think I speak for the entire Galactic Empire when I say, “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” I smell a round of Force-chokes coming on! SeoulDanceTroopers Does Wonder Girl’s Nobody [toysrevil] Thanks to Mimi, who once filmed a bunch of Ewok’s dancing to Daft Punk’s ‘Around The World’. Sweeeeet.

Like being a father , just the very thought of it makes me sick to my stomach . And the only thing that makes this redeemable is the fact that “my robe and wizard hat” also made the cut ( bloodninja , high-five!). Oh, and “my Robert Pattinson”. God that’s pathetic. Listen Twi-Hards — HE WILL NEVER BE YOURS. Will you, Robert? No, you won’t. Now keep tickling, glittercakes. Never Have Unprotected Robot Sex [autocompleteme] Thanks to Twelveburgers, who, wait — no cheese?

It’s a giant baby robot . It exemplifies everything that’s wrong with robotics . Namely, that they exist — or were born , if you will (L337 baby tie-in FTW!). It shouldn’t exist. If I had a time machine I’d go back in time and make sure it was never created bang dinos. Sorry guys, I’ve got priorities. the robot is supposed to model a 1 year old baby and the purpose is to conduct research on how a baby’s brain develops. Diego-san’s face has about 20 moving parts so that it can communicate with facial expression without being able to talk. It is 130cm tall, weighs 30kg and can stand up from a chair on its own. It can hold a water bottle with its hand. It has a high resolution camera and 6 axis acceleration sensor built in to detect movement. Unfortunately it doesn’t say why the head has to be so big. Female researchers contributed to the design and coordination - thus the photo of woman hugging Diego-san. Pfft. Like you really need a creepy-ass robot to study how a baby’s brain develops? Here, let me solve that mystery for you: slowly. I have an eleven-year old who still craps his pants. And before you all get in a huff about scarring my son by airing his dirty laundry (God I’m good) on Geekologie, don’t worry: it’s not like he can read. Hit the jump for a larger shot of the baby and his inventor.

Seen here in one of the world’s most pathetic photographs, Douglas Hines chats it up with his sex robot “Roxxxy” about soccer (and he wonders why he needs a sex robot ). The anatomically-correct robot, who can even snore, has an articulated skeleton that can move like a person but can’t walk or independently move its limbs. There is Wild Wendy, who is outgoing and adventurous, Frigid Farrah, who is reserved and shy, a young unnamed doll with a naïve personality, “matriarchal kind of caring” Mature Martha and S & M Susan, who is geared for more adventurous types. Coming with a laptop the doll, priced between US$7,000 (£4,350) to US$9,000 (£5,993), was unveiled at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas at the weekend. Inspiration for the sex robot sprang from the September 11, 2001 attacks, he said, where a friend died and he vowed to store his personality forever. WTF!? Honoring the memory of a friend by humping his likeness in sex-robot form? Listen, I don’t want to be honored if that’s how they’re doing it these days. Just shoot my body out of a cannon and call it a day. Foxy ‘Roxxxy’: world’s first ’sex robot’ can talk about football [telegraph] Thanks to Spenny “human advocat”, Brad B, Zerv, Steve P, TobyRaider, Brandon, Ben, Kyle, M3ntal, The Harbinger of Dooooooooom, Jasmine, dez, J.D., Mollie, Jack and Shannon, who don’t do robots. Literally or figuratively.

The man on the left is Professor Henry Markram. Based on this picture alone he’s clearly a mad scientist . Don’t believe me? Read this captain crazy shit: Professor Henry Markram, a doctor-turned-computer engineer, announced that his team would create the world’s first artificial conscious and intelligent mind by 2018. And that is exactly what he is doing. On the shore of Lake Geneva, this brilliant, eccentric scientist is building an artificial mind. A Swiss - it could only be Swiss - precision- engineered mind, made of silicon, gold and copper. The end result will be a creature, if we can call it that, which its maker believes within a decade may be able to think, feel and even fall in love. Now I’m not saying somebody needs to blow up Markram’s lab and rescue the beautiful maiden he’s obviously holding captive, but I am asking if any of you live on Lake Geneva (I’ll ring-bay the omb-bay). The real Frankenstein experiment: One man’s mission to create a living mind inside a machine [dailymail] (long article with a ton more information — I stopped reading around the bucket of rat brains part) Thanks to Brandon and Bryan, who will pitchfork and torch the shit outta this bastard if he ever becomes reality.

The man on the left is Professor Henry Markram. Based on this picture alone he’s clearly a mad scientist . Don’t believe me? Read this captain crazy shit: Professor Henry Markram, a doctor-turned-computer engineer, announced that his team would create the world’s first artificial conscious and intelligent mind by 2018. And that is exactly what he is doing. On the shore of Lake Geneva, this brilliant, eccentric scientist is building an artificial mind. A Swiss - it could only be Swiss - precision- engineered mind, made of silicon, gold and copper. The end result will be a creature, if we can call it that, which its maker believes within a decade may be able to think, feel and even fall in love. Now I’m not saying somebody needs to blow up Markram’s lab and rescue the beautiful maiden he’s obviously holding captive, but I am asking if any of you live on Lake Geneva (I’ll ring-bay the omb-bay). The real Frankenstein experiment: One man’s mission to create a living mind inside a machine [dailymail] (long article with a ton more information — I stopped reading around the bucket of rat brains part) Thanks to Brandon and Bryan, who will pitchfork and torch the shit outta this bastard if he ever becomes reality.

I don’t know if you could tell by the title but I was implying that I would tear that robotic bastard limb from limb right there in aisle four between the baby food and Maxi-Pads . Ain’t no robot handling these eggs! The robotic assistant — an advanced version of the Robovie-II android developed by Advanced Telecommunications Research Institute International (ATR) — is the centerpiece of a networked system of robots, sensors and digital technology designed to make shopping more convenient and entertaining for the elderly. In the video above, which shows part of a test conducted on December 10, the child-sized robot accompanies a 67-year-old woman while she shops for mandarin oranges and broccoli. In addition to carrying the woman’s shopping basket, the robot reminds her to get the mandarin oranges, recommends the apples (which the robot says are delicious this season), reminds her to get the broccoli, and suggests including lettuce in her salad along with the broccoli. On several occasions, the robot remarks on how delicious the items look. That’s ridiculous. Who the hell’s gonna buy something BECAUSE A FREAKIN’ ROBOT TELLS YOU IT LOOKS DELICIOUS? Oh, right . DAMNIT OLD PEOPLE! I hope you like drain cleaner in your cereal. Hit the jump for the video of the poisoner in action.

This is part of a little party planner from Betty Crocker about how to throw a happy-fun robot-themed soiree for a child including a creepy-ass robotic cake (and I thought you were cool !). Also, who would have thought meatball hoagies and turkey-spinach (I will whip your monkey ass, Popeye!) wraps were the perfect accompaniment to A CAKE OF DEATH? Not cool, Betty, not cool. Favorite Betty: Crocker White Snap, replaced by a Golden Girl! That speaks volumes. Robots Rule! Birthday Party [bettycrocker] Thanks to Jenny, who knows a good old fashioned dino-party is the way to go. Rawr? RAAAAAAAWR!

A 68-year old South Korean woman just passed the written part of her driving test on the 950th try. God that’s scary . After four years of trying, 68-year-old Cha Sa-soon finally managed to secure the 60 out of 100 points needed to pass the test. The grandmother has spent more than 5m won ($4,200, £2,600) on application fees for the test. Mrs Cha had been trying to pass it since 13 April 2005, the Korea Times reported. Speaking in February - after her 775th failure - Mrs Cha had appeared undaunted. “I believe you can achieve your goal if you persistently pursue it,” she told Reuters news agency. “So don’t give up your dream, like me. Be strong and do your best.” First of all, anybody who takes 950 tries to pass a 50 question multiple choice test should be banned from driving. And secondly, so should all women. Am I right? No? Just sexist? Oh. Woman passes 950th driving test [bbcnews] Thanks to twellve, who passed her driving test the first time. Nice, twellve, so did I. Well, on the third first time.

MIT , a school best known for not accepting me despite two super-sweet essays and several threatening phone calls , is now developing a robot companion for drivers . Why? Because we need more distractions in the car. AIDA (Affective Intelligent Driving Agent) communicates with the driver via a small, sociable robot built into the dashboard. The idea is to develop an informed and friendly passenger, the buddy perpetually riding shotgun who aside from reading the map and helping with navigation, acts as a companion. As such, AIDA is being developed to read drivers’ moods via their facial expressions and other cues (hand gestures?) and respond to them in the proper social context. It communicates back in very human ways as well: with a smile, the blink of an eye, the drooping of its head. AIDA analyzes the driver’s mobility patterns, common routes and destinations, and driving habits. It then merges its knowledge of the driver with its knowledge of the city around it, mashing up the drivers priorities and needs with real-time information on everything from tourist attractions to environmental conditions to commercial activity to help the driver make better decisions. Yeah, but can he take the wheel? Because what good is a robot in the car if it can’t drive you home? I don’t need a friend in the car THAT’S WHY WE HAVE TEXTING, am I right? No, I’m dead wrong. Literally: DEAD. WRONG. Don’t text and drive. This message brought to you by the GW and everyone else who agrees that you already suck at driving bad enough without another distraction. MIT Introduces a Friendly Robot Companion For Your Dashboard [popsci] Thanks to Jeff, tom and Kristi, who just get lost and play ‘I Spy’ with themselves in the car like normal people.