That’s right, would-be astronauts , you can forget about NASA ever sending you to the moon strapped to a giant rocket, cause that shit ain’t happening. Your only chance now is lassoing a moonicorn and barebacking that bitch to outerspace. Obama wants to end NASA’s moon program, turn over space transportation to commercial companies and jump-start technologies needed for future human exploration of Mars and other destinations, officials said on Monday. Obama’s budget ends work on the shuttle follow-on vehicle, known as Orion, as well as a pair of rockets developed to fly astronauts to the space station, the moon and other destinations in the solar system. Funds previously earmarked for the Constellation program, initially intended to return U.S. astronauts to the moon by 2020, instead would be used for research projects that include robotics and other technologies needed to prepare for an eventual human mission to Mars Privatizing space transportation? I don’t know how I feel about that besides GW’s ROCKET TOURS NOW TAKING RESERVATIONS!! Week long space trips start at $1million. Now I know what you’re thinking, “I bet the GW’s just gonna get me high and drop me off at Space Camp”. And that, my friend, is a safe bet. Obama axes NASA moon plan in new budget [msnbc] Thanks to FDSY, who will kick your ass into outerspace for a cool grand.

That’s right, would-be astronauts , you can forget about NASA ever sending you to the moon strapped to a giant rocket, cause that shit ain’t happening. Your only chance now is lassoing a moonicorn and barebacking that bitch to outerspace. Obama wants to end NASA’s moon program, turn over space transportation to commercial companies and jump-start technologies needed for future human exploration of Mars and other destinations, officials said on Monday. Obama’s budget ends work on the shuttle follow-on vehicle, known as Orion, as well as a pair of rockets developed to fly astronauts to the space station, the moon and other destinations in the solar system. Funds previously earmarked for the Constellation program, initially intended to return U.S. astronauts to the moon by 2020, instead would be used for research projects that include robotics and other technologies needed to prepare for an eventual human mission to Mars Privatizing space transportation? I don’t know how I feel about that besides GW’s ROCKET TOURS NOW TAKING RESERVATIONS!! Week long space trips start at $1million. Now I know what you’re thinking, “I bet the GW’s just gonna get me high and drop me off at Space Camp”. And that, my friend, is a safe bet. Obama axes NASA moon plan in new budget [msnbc] Thanks to FDSY, who will kick your ass into outerspace for a cool grand.

That’s right ladies and gentleboys, there’s gonna be a blue moon (great with an orange slice) on New Year’s Eve. Which can only mean one thing: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!! And, if we actually do all die , I want it to be noted that I said it first. That’s gotta be worth something, right? Steak dinner in hell? I’LL TAKE IT! Blue Moon is the term applied to the second full Moon in a calendar month. It’s an event that occurs roughly every two and a half years. This Thursday’s blue Moon is far rarer than that though, because it’s happening right on New Years Eve–a coincidence that happens only about once in every twenty years. So what do you think? Is that cheesy blue bastard gonna make 2010 an extra special year or what? I sure as hell hope so. Beer, sex, sin, wine — goodbye 2009, yaaay! Damn yeah I was a cheerleader in highschool. You see these? I couldn’t let these spirit fingers go to waste. This New Years Eve Brings the Rarest Blue Moon of All [gizmodo]

Want to place outerspace in your own backyard and pretend YOU’RE ON THE F***ING MOON ? Who doesn’t?! Well now you can thanks to these full scale lunar lander replicas from Space Toys. Houston, I have a boner. Who doesn’t want a LEM? These are custom made per order and built to exact specifications. Each can be custom made to match a specific lunar lander Apollo Mission. Available with or without a complete interior. Built from durable materials with the highest attention paid to authenticity and detail. Another great addition to any museum or private collection. The Lunar Module shown at right shows the level of detail, the customer can expect in a high fidelity replica from Spacetoys.com. This item is only available as a build to order purchase. Details are amazing and the authenticity is fantastic. Damn do I want one! Plus a full interior? Sweeeet . Forget a mancave, I want a manlander! A fridge full of beer, some video games, and I’m one happy astronaut. Did somebody say freeze-dried ice creams? YES PLEASE! Product Site Thanks to Megan, who

Want to place outerspace in your own backyard and pretend YOU’RE ON THE F***ING MOON ? Who doesn’t?! Well now you can thanks to these full scale lunar lander replicas from Space Toys. Houston, I have a boner. Who doesn’t want a LEM? These are custom made per order and built to exact specifications. Each can be custom made to match a specific lunar lander Apollo Mission. Available with or without a complete interior. Built from durable materials with the highest attention paid to authenticity and detail. Another great addition to any museum or private collection. The Lunar Module shown at right shows the level of detail, the customer can expect in a high fidelity replica from Spacetoys.com. This item is only available as a build to order purchase. Details are amazing and the authenticity is fantastic. Damn do I want one! Plus a full interior? Sweeeet . Forget a mancave, I want a manlander! A fridge full of beer, some video games, and I’m one happy astronaut. Did somebody say freeze-dried ice creams? YES PLEASE! Product Site Thanks to Megan, who

Remember how NASA tried to blow up the moon to get at its molten cheese core ? Well apparently they discovered a ’significant’ amount of water in the process. Adult swim! The discovery was announced by project scientist Anthony Colaprete at a midday news conference. “Indeed, yes, we found water,” he said. The find is based on preliminary data collected when the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite, or LCROSS, intentionally crashed October 9 into the permanently shadowed region of Cabeus crater near the moon’s south pole. After the satellite struck, a rocket flew through the debris cloud, measuring the amount of water and providing a host of other data, Colaprete said. “The discovery opens a new chapter in our understanding of the moon,” the space agency said in a written statement shortly after the briefing began. Hell yes a new chapter in understanding the moon! CHAPTER 6: Water On The Moon There is water on the moon. Specifically, frozen water. THE END NASA finds ’significant’ water on moon [cnn] and Picture [juliefainart] Thanks to AZ-TRO-NOT, joey, STephen and Lizze, who found Kool-Aid on the moon but you probably never heard about it because of the massive conspiracy.

I’m not going to lie to you (although I usually do), I had no idea what a moon dog was when Geekologie Reader em_kay11 sent me this picture (high-res version HERE ) of one he took early Wednesday morning. Per Wikipedia : A moon dog or moondog (scientific name paraselene, plural paraselenae, i.e. “beside the moon”) is a relatively rare bright circular spot on a lunar halo caused by the refraction of moonlight by hexagonal-plate-shaped ice crystals in cirrus or cirrostratus clouds. Moondogs appear to the left and right of the moon 22° or more distant. They are exactly analogous to sun dogs, but are rarer because to be produced the moon must be bright and therefore full or nearly full. Moondogs show little color to the unaided eye because their light is not bright enough to activate the color photoreceptors in humans. Cool, a moondog! Can we keep it, daddy? Can we pleaaaase? I’ll feed it and walk it every day. And if it ever moon-cheeses on the carpet I promise I’ll clean it up and spray the area real good with pet odor-neutralizer and everything. No? Well how about a reptile? I like turtles. Thanks em_kay11, now how about a mooncat?

So apparently the moon might consist of a network of interconnected tubes , like Swiss cheese . OMG the astronauts are gonna eat it! AAAAAAAAAAH I’M SO JEALOUS! Images have revealed a hole on the Moon’s surface that is at least 260 feet deep and may lead to an underground tunnel more than 1,200 feet wide which is part of an entire network of such winding tubes. Scientists are hoping for clearer shots from NASA’s Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter, but the impression so far is that such a tunnel network could provide shelter for astronauts or potential future Moon colonists. Two words: giant space worms. Shut up, the giant is silent! But only while he sleeps. Kidding, he’s a snorer! I’m not insane, you’re insane. Plus a jerk. Newly Discovered Hole On Moon Leads To Network Of Tubes [gizmodo]

So apparently one of Jupiter’s moons , Europa, might have enough oxygen to support life . Well that’s cool BECAUSE I’M TOTALLY MOVING THERE. Who’s with me? You better shower ! The global ocean on Jupiter’s moon Europa contains about twice the liquid water of all the Earth’s oceans combined. New research suggests that there may be plenty of oxygen available in that ocean to support life, a hundred times more oxygen than previously estimated. The chances for life there have been uncertain, because Europa’s ocean lies beneath several miles of ice, which separates it from the production of oxygen at the surface by energetic charged particles (similar to cosmic rays). Without oxygen, life could conceivably exist at hot springs in the ocean floor using exotic metabolic chemistries, based on sulfur or the production of methane. However, it is not certain whether the ocean floor actually would provide the conditions for such life. Hell yeah, Europa — I’ve always wanted to visit Holland! Do they really wear those wooden shoes? Jupiter’s Moon Europa Has Enough Oxygen For Life [physorg] Thanks to Kelly, who can come with me provided she steer the spaceship while I get drunk and puke out a porthole.

NOTE : If you’re reading this after 7:30AM Eastern we may already all be dead. As you may recall from the Pulitzer-winning article I wrote back in June (and an even ooolder article from April ‘06 ) , NASA plans to blow up the moon by crashing the $79 million Lunar Crater Observation and its Sensing Satellite (LCROSS) into the Cabeus crater on the moon’s south pole. When the twin crafts hit the lunar surface at around 6,000 mph, NASA expects “plumes of moon dust — perhaps full of ice — (to soar) 6.2 miles high above the moon’s Cabeus crater.” NASA hopes the explosion and resulting unmooning (see what I did there? Like unearthing!) will finally settle whether there’s ice and water under the moon’s surface. And, if so, if it’s potable. Nice, NASA — TOO BAD YOU’RE GONNA BLOW THE MOON IN TWO LIKE BUTTCHEEKS! And do you even know what that’s gonna do to the ocean’s tides? I mean, besides make for the most epic day of bodyboarding EVER. See you at the beach, suckers! NASA Will Bomb The Moon Tomorrow [io9] and NASA Attacks the Moon [yahoonews] Thanks to JFreezy, Sean, The Superficial Writer, Benjamin and moses, who are gonna finish the moon off with a giant laser if NASA’s plan doesn’t work.