Because I’m the L337357 blogger this side of Tar Valon (’Wheel of Time’ series reference FTW!), I’m posting two Facebook related posts in a row. What can I say — I BLOG DEEP, SON! Anyway, these are Facebook status updates as written by the characters in Lord of the Rings (or somebody at College Humor). Whatever the case , I thought they were pretty cute. Granted, not as cute as the bustier I’m wearing, but I did buy myself a Victoria’s Secret giftcard as an early Christmas present. And this little number is gonna look great on my floor later , just sayin’! Hit the jump for five more.

A group of teens hanging out by a lake in Panama saw the elusive Gollum climbing out of his cave and did what any respectable youths would do: beat it to death with sticks. According to reports in Panama, the teenagers spotted the creature crawling out of a cave while playing in the town of Cerro Azul north of Panama City. Fearing for the safety as it moved towards them, the youths claim they attacked the beast with sticks before throwing its lifeless body into a pool of water. A hooked claw visible in one of the photos has been cited as evidence for the popular theory that the creature was a sloth that somehow lost its hair. Wow you little assholes, you beat a hairless sloth to death. That’s low. I mean, aren’t sloths slower than turtles? You could have gotten high, had a four course picnic and taken a nap afterward and the thing would have still been like a foot from where it was before you packed the bong. That said, did you get the One Ring?! BECAUSE I MUST HAVE IT. I collect jewelry! New ‘Montauk Monster’ spotted in Panama [telegraph] Thanks to spoon platoon, Pesche and DoucheBag, who would have at least asked the poor bastard for an autograph first.

Minas Tirith , the City of Kings from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord Of The Rings trilogy is painstakingly being recreated using matchsticks by wood-loving Patrick Acton. The project started in March, 2007, and Patrick expects to be completed by late 2010. Good looking, Pat, say — mind if I do a j? *whoosh* Oh, uh-oh. Hit the jump for several more of the progress and a link to Patrick’s work-in-progress page.

If Walt Disney ever got around to churning out his own version of Lord of the Rings , perhaps it would’ve been close to this fan-made version featuring some of Disney’s iconic characters in the roles of Frodo, Legolas, Gimli and Gandalf. (But where’s Aragorn?) Funnily enough, there’s all sorts of stories and urban legends online that tell of Walt Disney’s attempts or non-attempts to adapt Lord of the Rings . Some indicate that Disney held the film rights to J.R.R. Tolkien’s masterpiece for 10 years before giving up and selling them over to United Artists. Others argue that Disney wanted to animate The Hobbit at one time, but couldn’t get past the fact that the story didn’t contain the ideal, humorous family-friendly vibe that Disney wanted for all his films. None of these tall tales ever came with any hard proof, though, and the funny thing about it all is that Tolkien apparently despised Disney. In a letter discussing illustrations inside the American publication of The Hobbit , Tolkien noted that he would ” . . .veto anything from or influenced by the Disney Studios (for all whose works I have a heartfelt loathing).” For much more on the Disney-Tolkien love (hate?) affair, check out this pretty detailed resource . View a larger version of the image above in the gallery below. Gallery: Disney’s Lord of the Rings [via Superpunch ] Filed under: Fandom , Images , Fan Made Permalink | Email this | Comments

Cartoonist Dan Meth has created what he calls The Trilogy Meter, which, as you can see above, is a chart that lists several different movie trilogies and then rates them on a high-low scale. The image above is smaller than the actual completed version (view that by clicking the image below), which goes on to include other trilogies like Die Hard, Godfather, Alien, Terminator, Rocky, Batman, Rambo, etc … As Dan explains over on his blog : “I know other movie geeks are going to have disagreements and that’s fine. And yes, I know some of these movies went more than 3 sequels, but none were ever meant to. These are rated purely on my enjoyment level on each film and nothing else. Frankly I’m surprised by how many sequels were better than the original. And I’m not surprised that the 3rd movie is never the best.” Honestly, I’m not surprised so many sequels (or the second film in a franchise) are better than the original since it’s easier to just jump right into the action, what with the characters and backstory already introduced in the first film. This doesn’t necessarily pertain to straight up action flicks like Die Hard or Rambo , but definitely movies that feature a grand universe ( Star Wars ) or a comic book character ( Spider-Man, X-Men ). What do you think of this chart? Where did Dan go wrong? And will we ever find a third film that’s better than the two that came before it? Gallery: The Trilogy Meter Filed under: Fandom , Lists Permalink | Email this | Comments

That’s right folks, that’s a freaking cake right there — the city of Minas Tirith in all it’s fondant-y glory. Wow. Now I’m confident I speak for all of us when I say ‘my God would I lay siege to that city — with a fork!’ Am I right? “Thou shall not pass….on seconds!” Thanks Gandalf, I’ll have another. Oh, uh-oh — whipped cream fight! Hit the jump for several more LOTR cakes, including a pretty solid looking golden ring.