Damnit, Darth , you’re terrorizing the entire house. I swear, where’s Luke riding a teacup pig when you need him? Haha, what do you mean he’s in his room with Leia and the door’s locked? Doesn’t he know? No?! Holy shit this is gonna be hilarious! But first: I need for you to order one of those fake “always positive” pregnancy tests. Picture Thanks to sham, who will always be a sham-wow in my book.

Honey, have you seen my lightsaber USB drive ? Haha, what do you mean it’s in your panty drawer? These USB lightsabers come in red and green, light up when you plug them in and will set you back $20 for 1GB of storage. Amazingly, they’re actual Lucasfilm licensed products from Japan. Really? Because I would have manufactured the same thing, not gotten any licensing rights, and sold them as lightswords BECAUSE I’M A RUTHLESS BUSINESSMAN. Don’t believe me? Then why did I just kill my secretary? Wait, why did I just kill my secretary? I’M ROOFLESS, YOUNG’N! ThinkGeek Product Site via Lightsaber Flash Drives [ohgizmo]

This is a video of a flashmob lightsaber fight that took place over the weekend at a mall in Britain. Now I’m not saying I would have screamed and soiled my pants had I been in the midst of all that, but I would have robbed the nearest jewelry store and blamed it on Luke Lightsaber over there. Over 100 Star Wars fans broke into an an massively epic lightsaber fight in Bristols Cabot Circus, a shopping mall in Bristol, England. The flashmob was organized online through facebook, and took place on February 13th 2010. Over 100 people is all it takes to be the world’s largest lightsaber fight? I would have figured it would at least take 1,000. But what do I know about world records? Besides, oh I don’t know, WORLD’S FASTEST LOVER! Aaaaand I’m good. Hit the jump for a longer, more professional video.

Before you start unzipping your pants I’m pretty sure that’s a dude. A dude holding the world’s largest lightsaber ! Which isn’t actually a lightsaber at all — it’s just the sky! CONSIDER YOURSELF OPTICALLY ILLOOSHED! Star Wars Hiker [thechive] Thanks to naas, who has an even bigger lightsaber but wouldn’t take his shirt off for a picture.

Proof that we’ve pretty much given up on ever turning this economy around, the New York Stock Exchange had Darth Vader ring the opening bell on the 22nd. Really? You let the Supreme Commander of the Galactic Empire ring the bell? WTF?! Jesus, why don’t we just give him the country and beg him to Death Star earth like Alderaan? … … We’re gonna need more Ewoks! Youtube Thanks to Kristen, sam, Nate, Beefytee, Fally and Nelson, who would have rung the hell out of that bell AND stolen the clapper afterward.

This is a little cartoon of Christmas in the Skywalker household. Looks similar to mine, but with less spiked eggnog and my aunt swinging from the chandelier during dinner. Calm down, they’re just candied yams! I hope it’s a new hand! [comixed] Thanks to Nathan, who got nothing and liked it.

Animalswithlightsabers.com is a website with a bunch of pictures of animals wielding lightsabers . Because, let’s face it: animals and lightsabers go together like waking up and drinking. Or going to bed with a bottle of vodka. It just makes people happy. Hit the jump for several more of my favorites and another link to the website.

Why it’s taken so long to produce some good looking lightsaber chopsticks is beyond me. I mean, they just make sense. Like wind energy and peeing in the sink, but with a culinary flair. Available in three colors, the $10 sticks are the perfect utensils for devouring tauntaun and Ewok dishes. But don’t go trying to eat that shit Yoda fixes on Dagobah! The runs like you’re about to be trampled by an AT-AT. Hit the jump for one more shot of the sabers in hand.

Why it’s taken so long to produce some good looking lightsaber chopsticks is beyond me. I mean, they just make sense. Like wind energy and peeing in the sink, but with a culinary flair. Available in three colors, the $10 sticks are the perfect utensils for devouring tauntaun and Ewok dishes. But don’t go trying to eat that shit Yoda fixes on Dagobah! The runs like you’re about to be trampled by an AT-AT. Hit the jump for one more shot of the sabers in hand.

This is a custom made Luke Skywalker (circa Empire Strikes Back ) USB drive . I assume it’s painted modeling clay , but honestly it could be made out of unicorn tears for all I know. What an amazing job the artist did though — such an expressive face. It’s like you can hear him screaming, “WHY’D SHE HAVE TO BE MY SISTER !?!” Hit the jump for several more shots of the expressiveness.