There's a media frenzy surrounding the impending surrender and arraignment of Michael Jackson's personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray. The doctor is expected to be charged with involuntary manslaughter today after turning himself in to an undisclosed location. And the media,…

Today’s $10 shirt.woot features robots breaking Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics . For those of you that don’t know the three laws of robotics, they are as follows: 1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. LOL! Robots killing people and not doing what they’re supposed to! Let’s joke about it — it’s funny! You’re all as good as dead. Shirt.Woot (different shirt tomorrow) Thanks to Nate, Jonny S, bryson, jantunes and Nicky, who know there’s no such thing as safe robots. Or sex (but Ziploc brand freezer bags do help reduce the risk).

So apparently smoking cigarettes or other tobacco products (no word on the ganj ) may void your Mac warranty. Plus kill you slow. Hey, that’s booze’s job! Consumer advocate blog The Consumerist reports two examples of Apple stores refusing to honour the warranty on a Mac because of contamination from cigarette smoke. It seems the faults could be attributed to exposure to smoke and accumulated tar, although there is no specific mention of cigarette smoke in the AppleCare warranty contract. When pushed for clarification, Apple insisted that nicotine is on the Occupational Safety and Health Administration’s list of hazardous substances and Apple would not require an employee to repair anything deemed hazardous to their health. Because I have a degree in investigative journalism am a ninja I called Apple this morning to clarify. Yeah, and I had them patch me in to Steve Jobs’ iPhone, where I asked the really hard hitting questions, “But what about pole ? Hello? HELLO? STEVE?” Should smoking void your warranty? [digihub] Thanks to b00geyman, who only smokes cheeba, it helps him with his brain, he might be a little dusted but he’s not insane.

Two German scientists claim to have broken the speed of light . They are liars and should lose their science licenses . What do you mean you don’t need a license to practice science? WELL YOU SHOULD! According to Einstein’s special theory of relativity, it would require an infinite amount of energy to propel an object at more than 186,000 miles per second. However, Dr Gunter Nimtz and Dr Alfons Stahlhofen, of the University of Koblenz, say they may have breached a key tenet of that theory. The pair say they have conducted an experiment in which microwave photons - energetic packets of light - travelled “instantaneously” between a pair of prisms that had been moved up to 3ft apart. The scientists were investigating a phenomenon called quantum tunnelling, which allows sub-atomic particles to break apparently unbreakable laws. Dr Nimtz told New Scientist magazine: “For the time being, this is the only violation of special relativity that I know of.” Yeah, no. Is the universe still here? Then these two crackpots didn’t shoot shit faster than the speed of light. And speaking of shooting shit faster than the speed of light: the new Black Jack taco from Taco Bell. Plumber!! ‘We have broken speed of light’ [telegraph] Thanks to Allegro, who once ran out for beer and returned before he even left (got hit be a street sweeper and passed out in a ditch for a whole day).

A teen has filed a class-action lawsuit against Amazon for remotely deleting a copy of George Orwell’s ‘1984′ off his Kindle without his knowledge or the right to do so. Justin D. Gawronski, 17, “now needs to recreate all of his studies,” alleges the complaint filed Thursday in Seattle by the law firm KamberEdelson, LLC. Gawronski took copious notes using the Kindle that were linked to particular passages in the book, the court document says, and while those notes are still accessible, they are useless without the passages they reference. Amazon has apologized for remotely deleting copies of 1984 and another Orwell novel, Animal Farm, in mid-July without informing customers. Jay Edelson, the lead attorney in the lawsuit, said in a statement that the plaintiffs “appreciate Amazon.com’s new-found contrition, but words are not enough. Amazon.com had no more right to hack into people’s Kindles than its customers have the right to hack into Amazon’s bank account to recover a mistaken overpayment.” Now I’m not saying Amazon should have done that, but I am saying that Justin is pretty lazy for not just going back through the book and finding the passages again. Not that it matters anyways because I’m pretty sure this is just a sorry excuse for not having your homework ready on time. But seriously, one time my dog really did eat my homework. And by homework I mean weed. Amazon sued for wrecking teen’s Kindle work [msn] Thanks to Laura and Joemo, who would have just sent their teacher a corrupted file like a normal person.

Robot- ethicists are demanding a retuning of Asimov’s laws of robotics , which they believe are too simple and do not take into account just how badly robots want to kill us all. “If you build artificial intelligence but don’t think about its moral sense or create a conscious sense that feels regret for doing something wrong, then technically it is a psychopath,” says Josh Hall, a scientist who wrote the book Beyond AI: Creating the Conscience of a Machine . Accordingly, robo-ethicists want to develop a set of guidelines that could outline how to punish a robot, decide who regulates them and even create a “legal machine language” that could help police the next generation of intelligent automated devices. Wow, psychopathic robots — I didn’t see that coming. And by didn’t see that coming I mean I’VE BEEN TRYING TO WARN YOU FOREVER. Also, you’re on fire. Now stop, drop and get the hell out of my office — I’m in the middle of a very important business call. Now, where were we, sexy? Oooooh, right — now CAW like a Pterodactyl for me. Robo-Ethicists Want to Revamp Asimov’s 3 Laws [wired] Thanks to roikles, Andy, danny g, Patrick and NetSerk, who think rule one of robotics should be we do not talk about robotics.

Typically I don’t post movie posters because that’s IWatchStuff’s job, but I’m making an exception in this case because DISNEY STOLE GEEKOLOGIE’S TAGLINE. You think you can just change “awesome” to “guinea pigs” (which, incidentally are a synonym for awesome) and get away with it? THINK AGAIN, YOU DIRTY RODENT ! Now, which one of you wants to call Disney and pretend to be a lawyer? Somebody with a deep voice. G-FORCE movie poster [disneydreaming] Thanks to Ben, who pleads guilty to dead sexiness.

Jammie Thomas-Rasset, the lady in the high profile illegal music downloading story that was in the news a while back, just had her second federal trial and has been charged with infringing 24 copyrights (for the 24 songs she downloaded). She’s to pay $80,000 per song, a total of $1.92 million. Shiiiiiiiiiit. As for Thomas-Rasset, she appeared shaken by the verdict but didn’t blame the jury. “They did their job,” she said, “I’m not going to hold it against them.” She added, though, that the recording industry would never collect the money. “Good luck trying to get it from me… it’s like squeezing blood from a turnip.” The recording industry lawyers, though clearly pleased, had no desire to showboat this one. The massive damage award, which increased from $9,250 per song in the first trial to $80,000, might sounds like a “win,” but will probably stoke grassroots anger against the industry’s campaign… if the music business tries to collect. There are hints that it might not. Hey, I want to download stuff and not have to pay for it. Now, let’s see what she got: Vanessa Williams - Save the best for last Sheryl Crow - Run baby run Reba McEntire - One honest heart Janet Jackson - let’s wait awhile Guns n Roses - Welcome to the jungle Guns n Roses - November rain Def Leppard - Pour some sugar on me Bryan Adams - Somebody Aerosmnith - Cryin Linkin Park - One step closer Green Day - Basket case Goo Goo Dolls - iris No Doubt - Hella Good No Doubt - Different people No Doubt - Bathwater Sarah McLaughlan - Building a mystery Sarah McLaughlan - Possession Gloria Estefan - Rhythm is gonna get you Gloria Estefan - Here and we are Gloria Estefan - Coming out of the dark Journey - Faithfully Journey - Don’t stop believin Destiny’s Child - Bills, bills, bills Richard Marx - Now and for ever Wow, worst $2 million playlist EVER. Thomas verdict: willful infringement, $1.92 million penalty [arstechnica] Thanks to Dave and Pete, who have never copied floppies.

A Saudi inventor was recently denied a German patent for what is being described as a “killer chip “. What is a killer chip ? Cooler Ranch Doritos, hands down. The basic model would consist of a tiny GPS transceiver placed in a capsule and inserted under a person’s skin, so that authorities could track him easily. Model B would have an extra function — a dose of cyanide to remotely kill the wearer without muss or fuss if authorities deemed he’d become a public threat. The inventor said the chip could be used to track terrorists, criminals, fugitives, illegal immigrants, political dissidents, domestic servants and foreigners overstaying their visas. “The invention will probably be found to violate paragraph two of the German Patent Law — which does not allow inventions that transgress public order or good morals If the aliens have taught us anything, it’s that the key to successful human tracking is NOT LETTING THE HUMANS KNOW. You embed a cyanide chip under my skin and guess what — I’m cutting it out. With my teeth . Oh I’m sorry, was that too hardcore for you? Yeah, well one time I ate two of my own toes because I hadn’t eaten dessert. Saudi ‘Killer Chip’ Implant Would Track, Eliminate Undesirables [foxnews] Thanks to Dustin, who tracks people the old fashioned way: by looking for footprints and shit. Literally, looking for shit .

A 17-year old and his family are suing Apple after an iPod Touch allegedly blew up in the sissy’s pocket and caused 2nd degree burns. It claims the boy had his i-pod touch off and in his pocket at school on December 4th, when he heard a pop and felt a burning sensation. The lawsuit is seeking more than 200-thousand dollars in damages. Pfft, I’ve got some 2nd degree burns but you don’t see me trying to sue Cup Noodles. No, I think there’s more to this story than the family is telling us. Namely, their house is about to be foreclosed and there was a reciprocating saw involved in the explosion. Elementary my dear, Watson. Now, fetch me a glass of the good stuff and come sit on Sherlock’s lap. Family Sues Apple Over Exploding iPod [local12] Thanks to Douche McAllister, who had an entire sever blow up and catch fire in his pants but refused to sue because he’s a real man with wrought-iron genitalia.