OMG Laser Guns Pew Pew Pew is a website featuring a space squirrel with a laser gun. When you click he shoots a laser beam and makes a noise. I can’t say it’s a genuine ” pew” , but I still give it a B for better than the sound of a car alarm. Also, you may be wondering if OMG Laser Guns Pew Pew Pew is even worthy of a Geekologie post. And, if you are, you belong in a f***ing insane asylum. Here, can you see this — can you see what I’m doing? I’m circling my ear with one finger and pointing at you with another while I roll my eyes. That means you’re crazy. OMG LASER GUNS PEW PEW PEW Thanks to Pepe-Le-PEW-PEW, who once fell in love with a flashlight thinking it was a laser blaster. You poor bastard.

I don’t know about you, but I shoot to kill. Especially when it comes to protecting my castle (rent-controlled apartment). So I’m gonna have to pass on the Koosh bullets . AND seconds. Really, I’m stuffed. Lightfield has been selling these projectiles to law enforcement agencies and wildlife officials for years. Each round is filled with a soft projectile that resembles a koosh ball. They look like toys, because they’re made by a Chinese toy factory. The best thing about them is that they aren’t likely to kill someone even if they are fired at point blank range. They’re so soft that they’re almost incapable of penetrating the body. Eh. I’m a little hesitant to shoot toys at an intruder only to have them return fire with adult bullets. No, I think I’ll be sticking to my laser blaster, thank you very much. And I’m not just saying that because I accidentally glued it to my arm training for the robot wars, but that’s exactly what happened. A closeup of the projectiles after the jump.

Remember the homemade Blu-Ray laser-phaser I POSTED WAY BACK IN DECEMBER 2007? Well here’s a video of the thing popping balloons from at least eight or ten feet. Ooh, ooh — do my eyes next! Starfleet Command has discovered a planet full of vicious balloons, and Jay “Scotty” Rob has modified the classic phaser pistol from The Original Series to be able to pop ‘em left and right. Oh man, I totally need this thing for my next presentation to the Board of Directors. So, Board, as is evident from this chart I just pulled off the internet, I’ve done little to no work for the past six months. Buuuut…. POP! POP! POP POP POP!! Leave the promotion on my desk, I’ll be at the bar. Homemade Star Trek phaser is powerful enough to pop balloons [dvice] Thanks to Darkpatu, Zmann966, and Lee, who can pop balloons with nothing but their thoughts. MINDFREAKS!

Remember the homemade Blu-Ray laser-phaser I POSTED WAY BACK IN DECEMBER 2007? Well here’s a video of the thing popping balloons from at least eight or ten feet. Ooh, ooh — do my eyes next! Starfleet Command has discovered a planet full of vicious balloons, and Jay “Scotty” Rob has modified the classic phaser pistol from The Original Series to be able to pop ‘em left and right. Oh man, I totally need this thing for my next presentation to the Board of Directors. So, Board, as is evident from this chart I just pulled off the internet, I’ve done little to no work for the past six months. Buuuut…. POP! POP! POP POP POP!! Leave the promotion on my desk, I’ll be at the bar. Homemade Star Trek phaser is powerful enough to pop balloons [dvice] Thanks to Darkpatu, Zmann966, and Lee, who can pop balloons with nothing but their thoughts. MINDFREAKS!

I’m sure lots of time and effort went into the construction of this Jabba the Hutt cake, but that doesn’t mean I’d eat it. You see, I have a rule about eating things that look like slippery green turds : make somebody else try it first. Which, *cocking laser blaster* is why you’re here. Don’t think I won’t shoot first — I will shoot first. Now, try one of those things on the plate behind him. What is that, a bacon-wrapped cheeseball? Okay — now feed it to me like a baby bird. Jabba the Cake [geekstir] Thanks to Abby, who would have dove into that cake no questions asked. It’s not a swimming pool, Abby, geez!

This is a photo taken by Flickr user Meow Cely of a girl with ‘pew pew’ tattooed across her fingers . I must admit, I admire her dedication to the pews. You don’t see me rocking any pew-y ink (except in THIS post), and I’m one of the the laser blaster’s biggest proponents. Funny story: I went to a gun and knife show a few weeks ago and demanded my entrance fee be returned when I found out there weren’t any laser guns. Also, I accidentally cut myself with a bowie knife and tried to play it off like I’d been stabbed. Flickr via (Geek) Thug Life!: Pew Pew Tattoo [greatwhitesnark]

This is a photo taken by Flickr user Meow Cely of a girl with ‘pew pew’ tattooed across her fingers . I must admit, I admire her dedication to the pews. You don’t see me rocking any pew-y ink (except in THIS post), and I’m one of the the laser blaster’s biggest proponents. Funny story: I went to a gun and knife show a few weeks ago and demanded my entrance fee be returned when I found out there weren’t any laser guns. Also, I accidentally cut myself with a bowie knife and tried to play it off like I’d been stabbed. Flickr via (Geek) Thug Life!: Pew Pew Tattoo [greatwhitesnark]

Harrison Krix of Volpin Props (who also made the amazingly realistic ADAM syringe ) went and constructed an accurate replica of the AER9 Laser Rifle from Fallout 3 out of wood . In 30 hours. With only minimal black magic. I want it. After all, life is all about the pews. Obvioiusly, I’m talking about those chairs at church. I can’t stand and pray for shit! Build Page [volpinprops] (with a ton of pics, including the build) and Make your own Fallout 3 laser rifle for fun and profit [dvice] Thanks to Trav and SC2ZERGOMG, who once shot each other in the eyes with lasers and are now both legally blind. Good going, guys. At least you get eyepatches!

The folks over at SKYlaser Laser Pointers sent me a 125mW powerful green laser to review. So that’s what I did. And let me tell you: there was plenty of pews to be had. That picture I actually made writing with the laser on an 8-foot privacy fence, I just edited the pic of the unit in. Now hit the jump for the pew pew review.

Raytheon , a company best known for my brother and I both swearing we saw an airplane land on top of one of their buildings in Huntsville, Alabama, has received a Navy contract to draw up the initial design of a powerful burning 100-kW Fee Electron Laser (which may or may not look like an automotive engine) to be mounted on seagoing vessels. Pew pew? No. PEW PEW! Once designed, the naval operators could adjust the wavelength of the laser, which wasn’t possible with conventional lasers. This helps compensate for the varying humidity associated with ship-borne situations. The laser beams could be used against missiles, airplanes, or even boats. I need one of these for my car. Seriously, I’m tired of sitting in traffic. And let me tell you, I don’t just road rage, I road man-rage . You ever seen a guy tear off his own steering wheel, jam it down an air-conditioning vent and then sob uncontrollably? If you’ve ridden with me you have. Navy/Raytheon working on 100kW weaponized laser: cue the ‘pew-pew’ sound effects [dvice]