That’s right folks, even bread and trying to destroy itself from the future can’t keep the Large Hadron Collider from colliding. The beast recently made it’s first low-power collision and, amazingly, you’re still here to read this. And me to write it. So I guess we should both be thankful for that. Thanksgiving joke, HIYO! From CERN: Next on the schedule is an intense commissioning phase aimed at increasing the beam intensity and accelerating the beams. All being well, by Christmas, the LHC should reach 1.2 TeV per beam, and have provided good quantities of collision data for the experiments’ calibrations. CERN Director General Rolf Heuer remarked that it was “a great achievement to have come this far in so short a time.” Granted, it may not seem all that short to those of us that have been following its progress, but a year of delays for a multi-billion dollar project and the largest science experiment ever endeavored by mankind doesn’t seem so bad. Well the world’s gotta end sometime, amirite? I’d just assume it be now because, God, FOOD COMA. Did I say coma? I meant I’m going to projectile vomit. Large Hadron Collider finally collides for the first time [dvice] Thanks outlawkitsune, Duck N’ Cover, jaja, MoD, Mih0, Dan the Hammer, MrMaclean, Ben, Jon and everyone else whose emails I couldn’t find because I’ve already started drinking. HAPPY THANIKSGF S!IG!

That’s right folks, even bread and trying to destroy itself from the future can’t keep the Large Hadron Collider from colliding. The beast recently made it’s first low-power collision and, amazingly, you’re still here to read this. And me to write it. So I guess we should both be thankful for that. Thanksgiving joke, HIYO! From CERN: Next on the schedule is an intense commissioning phase aimed at increasing the beam intensity and accelerating the beams. All being well, by Christmas, the LHC should reach 1.2 TeV per beam, and have provided good quantities of collision data for the experiments’ calibrations. CERN Director General Rolf Heuer remarked that it was “a great achievement to have come this far in so short a time.” Granted, it may not seem all that short to those of us that have been following its progress, but a year of delays for a multi-billion dollar project and the largest science experiment ever endeavored by mankind doesn’t seem so bad. Well the world’s gotta end sometime, amirite? I’d just assume it be now because, God, FOOD COMA. Did I say coma? I meant I’m going to projectile vomit. Large Hadron Collider finally collides for the first time [dvice] Thanks outlawkitsune, Duck N’ Cover, jaja, MoD, Mih0, Dan the Hammer, MrMaclean, Ben, Jon and everyone else whose emails I couldn’t find because I’ve already started drinking. HAPPY THANIKSGF S!IG!

Apparently coming back from the future to destroy itself isn’t the only problem the Large Hadron Collider has to face, now it’s being sabotaged by crumb dropping birds . CODE BREAD! CODE BREAD! The Large Hadron Collider, the world’s most powerful particle accelerator, just cannot catch a break. First, a coolant leak destroyed some of the magnets that guide the energy beam. Then LHC officials postponed the restart of the machine to add additional safety features. Now, a bird dropping a piece of bread on a section of the accelerator has, according to the Register, shut down the whole operation. The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine. Wow, that’s — what’s the word I’m looking for? Pathetic. And by pathetic I mean damn yeah I left that baguette there. YOU AREN’T DESTROYING MY WORLD, LARGE HADRON COLLIDER! Next time I’m bringing jelly. Baguette Dropped From Bird’s Beak Shuts Down The Large Hadron Collider (Really) [popsci] Thanks to Futuju, Stephen, Kristi, you’ve got mail and sham, who tried to train squirrels to sabotage the LHC with acorns but the little bastards just kept hiding them.

According to a couple nutjobs that I’m actually starting to believe, the Large Hadron Collider is actually destroying itself FROM THE FUTURE to prevent the discovery of the Higgs boson particle. Whoa. According to the Times, two physicists posit that the reason that the Large Hadron Collider (and, previously, its unbuilt American counterpart) keeps running into problems isn’t bad luck or shoddy workmanship. It’s that the LHC’s quest to discover the Higgs boson–a heretofore only theorized particle that scientists believe is what gives objects mass–is creating problems to keep itself from being discovered: “A pair of otherwise distinguished physicists have suggested that the hypothesized Higgs boson, which physicists hope to produce with the collider, might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather.” I didn’t even think about that. But now that I do, it makes perfect sense. And by perfect sense I mean none at all. Unlessssss the LHC is actually a giant T-1000! Then we’re back to making perfect sense. I think. I dunno man, I smoked weed for breakfast. Destroyed by Malicious Forces from the Future? [good.is] Thanks to ffffffffffffff, Patrick, Elizabeth and burntout, who have secretly been sabotaging the LHC for the sake of humanity. Don’t worry guys, your secret’s safe with me.