The female orgasm , like a unicorn , is a rare and mythical creature. Unless you’re like me, in which case they’re like plain ol’ deer: you see them all the time , and, move often than not, have to swerve to avoid hitting them with your car. Well this is an informational graphic explaining the phenomenon, which, from what I gathered, is like a total eclipse for some couples. Unless you’re like me, then it’s like the sun in California: you see it all the time, but you don’t want to stare directly at it. Wait, I’m thinking of Medusa. You see, Medusa is like a vagina…. Hit the jump for the whole, very informative chart. Go on — maybe you’ll learn something!

Flickr user rediv (aka Alan M) went and made himself some sexy LEGO fembots . Why? I dunno, he’s sick in the head or something. Or maybe he just needs somebody to talk to (get a fish , God!). Isn’t that right, Mr. Tickles? You’re my friend, aren’t you? Mr. Tickles? MR. TICKLES? OKAY, WHO THE F*** FED MY FISH AN OMELET?! Hit the jump for a couple other shots, including an ass one, because you have issues.

I don’t really keep up with women’s fashion ever since my petition for toplessness was shot down in Congress, but I do know that plants are good. They like, photosynthesize and stuff and that’s good for us because of something to do with nitrous oxid e. Ha, did I say nitrous? I did, and I meant it. Oh my God it sounds like I’m in a spaceship. Quick, pull my teeth! Woolly Vagabond is the living breathing handbag. He gracefully hangs from the ceiling and stands on the table. Best of all, he travels about town. He’s your personal breath of fresh air and will accompany you to the museum, on picnics and out to dinner. Just like all Pockets, Woolly Vagabond promotes healthy plant growth via breathable sides which release excess moisture and aerate soil. He also has a built-in moisture barrier to help keep your car seat and café table dry. A Woolly Vagabond will set you back $150. Alternatively, head down to the bus station and pick one up for free. Cross your fingers for a junkie! I managed to pick one that already smells like fertilizer. I’m gonna grow weed in him! Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the product site.

Upset that devil worshiping is traditionally a boys-only game? Well fret not, ladies , cause now there’s a Ouija board just for you! It’s pink! Girls love pink ! Plus shoes! It has always been mysterious. It has always been mystifying. And now the OUIJA Board is just for you, girl. With 72 fun questions included, you’ll never run out of things to ask. Who will call/text me next? Will I be a famous actor someday? Who wishes they could trade places with me? Gather your friends around, draw a card, place your fingers on the planchette and ask your question. Concentrate very hard and watch as the answer is revealed in the message window. Make up your own questions, and let the OUIJA Board satisfy your curiosity in virtually endless ways. OUIJA Board will answer. It’s just a game - or is it? It’s not just a game. It’s like an empty soup can and long string STRAIGHT TO THE DEVIL’S MOUTH. Don’t believe me? One time growing up a friend and I asked what we were gonna get for Christmas that year. You know what it said? ‘SOQMNETR’. Which, last time I checked, is not how you spell ‘ALL THE HE-MAN TOYS EVER MADE INCLUDING THE CASTLE GRAYSKULL PLAYSET’. Then we threw it in the fire and heard screaming. Toys R Us via Toys R Us Can’t Be Serious. But They Are. [babble] Thanks to zeppomarks, who asked a Magic 8 Ball if I’d post this tip. ‘It is decidedly so’.

You really think I’d let Burlesque Week on Geekologie come to an end without a little action for Friday? No sir/ma’am! This is a video of Princess Peach stripping it down (these are actually the video associated with THIS old post), but hit the jump for some Chun Li, Link/Zelda and IHaveNoIdea action. So yeah, thus ends Burlesque Week. But be sure to tune in Monday for the start of ‘Pictures I Drew Of Myself Mounting Dinosaurs’ Week. I think it’s gonna be even hotter! Hit the jump for a video of more characters and a link to the picture gallery. UPDATED : Added another Link burlesque video (complete with Triforce pasties) because I love you.

You really think I’d let Burlesque Week on Geekologie come to an end without a little action for Friday? No sir/ma’am! This is a video of Princess Peach stripping it down (these are actually the video associated with THIS old post), but hit the jump for some Chun Li, Link/Zelda and IHaveNoIdea action. So yeah, thus ends Burlesque Week. But be sure to tune in Monday for the start of ‘Pictures I Drew Of Myself Mounting Dinosaurs’ Week. I think it’s gonna be even hotter! Hit the jump for a video of more characters and a link to the picture gallery. UPDATED : Added another Link burlesque video (complete with Triforce pasties) because I love you.

The cleavage caddy may look like a breast-shaped CD holder for your car’s sun visor, but it’s not. No, it’s a purse a woman (or moobed gentleman — hopefully with a monocle) stows between their breasts (look at me using the proper nomenclature!) and bra . An insert for your bra with or without an added lace accent to to enhance your attire with a feminine influence. If you choose the lace version, the lace covers your cleavage, adding an extra element of modesty, while still allowing you to carry all of your personal items discretely tucked in your bra. These are worn anchored to the bra by the elastic strap with a snap. Tuck away your keys, credit cards, lipstick and more! Caddies cost $30 and are guaranteed to make your boobs look all angular and pointy and generally undesirable. But will guys still stare at them? Absolutely. Available in medium (below 38D) and large (above 38D) something something MOTORBOAT! *BWUBWUBWUBWWUB!* Pulitzer me. Product Site Thanks to Justin, who totally didn’t find the site searching “cleavage” on Google (yes he did too).

Yesterday I posted the how to speak like a Na’vi handbook , and today comes a humorous video tutorial on how to do your makeup to look like a member of the fictional race of blue kittehs. Just throw on a loincloth and you’re good to go! Where, I don’t know, just as long as it isn’t here. The last thing I need is a bunch of near-naked blue freaks running around causing mischief. You hear that, Smurfs? NO FUNNY BUSINESS! Youtube Thanks to thekevbot, who better be joking with that name lest I email him a bomb.

Would she look like this? Admittedly, at first I thought this was a ninja turtle with its shell on backwards, but then I spotted the helmet. Buzz Lightyear, right ? I jest! Booba Fett . Also, what in the hell’s that green thing standing behind you? Because I just put a $6 bounty on its head! *pew pew* Juuuuuust kidding! Nice shot though. Picture Thanks to wes, who admitted he’d let himself be hunted if it meant spending the night with Fett. Unfortunately it doesn’t, wes, just being shot.

This is a Twilight themed corn maze in Utah (a state best known for people forgetting is a state) celebrating the new movie that’s coming out later this year that I, for one, can’t wait to see (read: I’d rather have ants eat my eyeballs while I’m awake and screaming and a dominatrix hammers at my junk with a meat tenderizer). I just put this up for you ladies out there that are in love with this garbage and know what ‘Team Jacob’ means. Because I sure as hell don’t. * Googling* Holy shit, this teen-wolf character actually sounds pretty cool. NOOOOOOT. High five for the oldschool burn! Also, haiku contest winners will be announced later tonight (I still have 400 haikus left to read). ‘Twilight’ fans can get happily get lost in corn [ohnotheydidnt] Thanks to pstone, who has never run through a cornfield backwards but has been to prison. Similar feelings.