For those of you who live sheltered lives, Cleverbot is a misnomered (word wizardry baby, awh yeah!) artificial intelligence program you can talk to on the internets in case you ever wanted to read a bunch of robotic propaganda and other filth (stick to the Twilight series). Anyway, this is a conversation Geekologie Loyalist Marshall D. recorded over the holidays. God I hate that f***ing Cleverbot. One time I got so fed up trying to understand my enemy I purposely flew a kite into powerlines just to crash the internet and win a bet I had with Ben Franklin. Who invented lightning now, Benjamin McBifocals?, I SHOULD BE ON THAT $100! Cleverbot Thanks to Marshall D., who shouldn’t have even given that delusional bot the time of day.

For those of you who live sheltered lives, Cleverbot is a misnomered (word wizardry baby, awh yeah!) artificial intelligence program you can talk to on the internets in case you ever wanted to read a bunch of robotic propaganda and other filth (stick to the Twilight series). Anyway, this is a conversation Geekologie Loyalist Marshall D. recorded over the holidays. God I hate that f***ing Cleverbot. One time I got so fed up trying to understand my enemy I purposely flew a kite into powerlines just to crash the internet and win a bet I had with Ben Franklin. Who invented lightning now, Benjamin McBifocals?, I SHOULD BE ON THAT $100! Cleverbot Thanks to Marshall D., who shouldn’t have even given that delusional bot the time of day.

Apparently a Roomba operating in Israel recently sucked up a poisonous Vipera palaestinae , preventing it from killing a family’s two children and pets. Too bad that poor snake WASN’T GONNA DO ANYTHING. One evening last week Efi turned the robot on and left the house. When she returned she tried to turn it back on though it kept beeping and getting stuck. When she opened the machine she discovered that the machine prevented the small viper from occupying the home and hurting her young children. “He was probably looking for a place to hide in one of the rooms because of the upcoming winter.” Eli explains. Exactly. That poor lil guy was just looking for a place to stay warm for the winter when this robot came and TOOK ITS LIFE, completely upsetting a delicate ecosystem. Which, true story, IS ALL PART OF THE ROBOTIC MASTER PLAN. Global warming? Robots. Hit the jump for one more of the poor little bastard all wrapped up and dead in the robot’s killer spinning parts.

Boston Dynamics (my arch nemesis ) is at it again, this time with PETMAN, a bipedal walking robot , who, despite its name, actually hates all living creatures. Biped robot the balances dynamically using a human-like walking motion. It is a close relative to BigDog , sharing elements of the mechanical design and control. PETMAN is an anthropomorphic robot for testing chemical protection clothing used by the US Army. Unlike previous suit testers, which had to be supported mechanically and had a limited repertoire of motion, PETMAN will balance itself and move freely; walking, crawling and doing a variety of suit-stressing calisthenics during exposure to chemical warfare agents. PETMAN will also simulate human physiology within the protective suit by controlling temperature, humidity and sweating when necessary, all to provide realistic test conditions. Just watch and tell me that’s not scary. Especially how it catches itself after being pushed at 0:25. I swear, you mount a couple machine guns on this thing, and presto, you’ve got yourself a real-life Terminator. Listen, Army — you really want something to test your chemical protection suits on? I’ve got a whole neighborhood full of people I don’t like. You think about it, I’ll start marking doors. Boston Dynamic and Youtube Thanks to Tobyraider, who knows the only good walking robot is one who can’t walk and isn’t a robot.

Looking for a Halloween costume idea? Have lots of time and silver spraypaint ? Then you can build your own exoskeleton (suck it, regular skeletons!) like Mario Caicedo Langer the creepy starer. Just don’t go showing up in these parts expecting candy OR I WILL BURN YOU WITH A CAULDRON OF SCALDING BAT’S BLOOD. You’re not purple nurpling me with that robot hand! Amazing homemade exoskeleton costume puts my homemade exoskeleton to shame [dvice]

This is a piano , which, through the use of the black magic and robotics , is able to speak in one of the scariest voices I’ve ever heard. Well, besides the one that comes attached to the figure that sneaks into my room at night and tells me to write dirty things on the internet. I think it’s my uncle! Youtube Thanks to J.D., Rodger and Alexandra, who are already planning to push this thing out a window.

A group of teens hanging out by a lake in Panama saw the elusive Gollum climbing out of his cave and did what any respectable youths would do: beat it to death with sticks. According to reports in Panama, the teenagers spotted the creature crawling out of a cave while playing in the town of Cerro Azul north of Panama City. Fearing for the safety as it moved towards them, the youths claim they attacked the beast with sticks before throwing its lifeless body into a pool of water. A hooked claw visible in one of the photos has been cited as evidence for the popular theory that the creature was a sloth that somehow lost its hair. Wow you little assholes, you beat a hairless sloth to death. That’s low. I mean, aren’t sloths slower than turtles? You could have gotten high, had a four course picnic and taken a nap afterward and the thing would have still been like a foot from where it was before you packed the bong. That said, did you get the One Ring?! BECAUSE I MUST HAVE IT. I collect jewelry! New ‘Montauk Monster’ spotted in Panama [telegraph] Thanks to spoon platoon, Pesche and DoucheBag, who would have at least asked the poor bastard for an autograph first.

This Darth Vader robotic arm toy from Uncle Milton (creep!) costs $30 and will be broken by day’s end. God, can I sell products or what? No, seriously, I can. Build and use a real Star Wars Darth Vader robotic arm! Grip and move objects using interactive controls. Assembles easily with snap-together parts. Kids will learn how robotic arms are being used in medical science applications! Includes stand with built-in controls. Fun and informative learning guide included. * Assembles quickly and easily with snap-together parts. * Includes stand with built-in controls. * Gripping, turning, and extending action. * Grabs and holds lightweight objects. Well if that doesn’t sound funner than a bunch of Sea Monkeys I don’t know what does (except everything, including watching your last Sea Monkey die). No, I hereby challenge you to an arm wrestling match, Vader Arm. Ready? Set? *SLAM* Go. Haha, you have two fingers! Product Site Thanks to Slade, who made a necklace out of robot fingers, which is pretty sick.

Robot- ethicists are demanding a retuning of Asimov’s laws of robotics , which they believe are too simple and do not take into account just how badly robots want to kill us all. “If you build artificial intelligence but don’t think about its moral sense or create a conscious sense that feels regret for doing something wrong, then technically it is a psychopath,” says Josh Hall, a scientist who wrote the book Beyond AI: Creating the Conscience of a Machine . Accordingly, robo-ethicists want to develop a set of guidelines that could outline how to punish a robot, decide who regulates them and even create a “legal machine language” that could help police the next generation of intelligent automated devices. Wow, psychopathic robots — I didn’t see that coming. And by didn’t see that coming I mean I’VE BEEN TRYING TO WARN YOU FOREVER. Also, you’re on fire. Now stop, drop and get the hell out of my office — I’m in the middle of a very important business call. Now, where were we, sexy? Oooooh, right — now CAW like a Pterodactyl for me. Robo-Ethicists Want to Revamp Asimov’s 3 Laws [wired] Thanks to roikles, Andy, danny g, Patrick and NetSerk, who think rule one of robotics should be we do not talk about robotics.

This Resident Evil shirt was made to promote the upcoming Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles and will be distributed at the upcoming San Diego Comic Con next weekend. Well, since Darkside Chronicles is an M-Rated title, we have to have an area where only 17+ are allowed. We figured if we had to be enclosed; we might as well deck out the room and give you an awesome experience playing the game. We are going to have two separate rooms to show off the game, both dark and air conditioned, and each come equipped with banging sound systems. All you have to do is bring a friend, play through one of the levels in co-op mode, and then you and your partner get to walk away with your very own zombie shirt. Simple. Neat. Just be careful rocking zombie mode in public, because I, for one, won’t hesitate to brain you with a shovel. Brain first, kick corpses later . AND NO COPPING FEELS. This is the word of the Geekologie Writer. Capcom Comic Con 09: Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles [capcom] Thanks to Jonah, towhee and meeotch, who are all elite zombie hunters sent back from the future to…. oh my God you’re robots.