The undeniable pinnacle of computer peripherals , the Fast Fingers keyboard is a $20 example of the opposite of that. It does allow you to choose between a standard ASDF keyboard layout and an alphabetically ordered one though. But is that all? NO SIR, BECAUSE IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 15-MINUTES I’LL THROW IN THE ABILITY TO ACTIVE 12 DIFFERENT HOTKEYS TO TYPE THINGS LIKE ‘ASAP’, ‘CYA’, ‘THX’, ‘THC’, ‘PCP’, ‘YOUDOWNWITHOPP?’ and ‘YEAHYOUKNOWME’. Well hotdog and coldcat my friends this sounds like an unbelievable deal! Can you tell I belong on QVC? Because I do. Also on the front of $3 bills. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the — now where’s my ‘POS’ button?

The undeniable pinnacle of computer peripherals , the Fast Fingers keyboard is a $20 example of the opposite of that. It does allow you to choose between a standard ASDF keyboard layout and an alphabetically ordered one though. But is that all? NO SIR, BECAUSE IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 15-MINUTES I’LL THROW IN THE ABILITY TO ACTIVE 12 DIFFERENT HOTKEYS TO TYPE THINGS LIKE ‘ASAP’, ‘CYA’, ‘THX’, ‘THC’, ‘PCP’, ‘YOUDOWNWITHOPP?’ and ‘YEAHYOUKNOWME’. Well hotdog and coldcat my friends this sounds like an unbelievable deal! Can you tell I belong on QVC? Because I do. Also on the front of $3 bills. Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the — now where’s my ‘POS’ button?

This is a short video of a guy doing a bunch of tricks with a tape measure . Admittedly, he’s pretty good and with a little more practice he could probably be as good as me one day. When hell is a solid sheet of ice ! And speaking of ice sheets: what an Eskimo has after trying raw seal! *bada-dum tsch* I’ll be here all week folks, try the seal. *bada-dum tsch!* God I’m good at this. *bada-dum tsch!* Kidding, kidding. Youtube Thanks to naas, who once unhooked a woman’s bra with a tape measure but it turned out to be a bro and then the guy hugged him like Meatloaf playing Bob in Fight Club.

Well not reeeeally, but she must have been a bit annoyed yesterday when she left the grocery store. It's not what you think though! Jess was in a surprisingly good mood when we photographed her walking across the Whole…

Yesterday we spotted Jessica Alba on her way to pick up Honor Marie Warren, and even though her face didn't light up upon scooping up her darling daughter, we know she's smiling on the inside, right? Heck, if I…

Don’t smile at me like that! I can tell these $125 computer key seats have been around for a while because of the ‘© 2004′ text in the image. What can I say, I’m observant. Hey — I saw that! Anyway, this was the first time I’d seen these chairs so they’re new to me. If they’re not new to you, congratulations, you’ve been around the block (internet whore). This unique stool is a great low-tech item for any computer geek. Insert this eye-catching seat in the dorm, game room or even an internet café . The contoured shape holds your backspace just like your finger rests in a key. Measures 22 inches square and 15 inches high and has ’sit’ printed on the top. We also offer to customize these stools with your own message or logo. Yes, but I want mine to be a delete key. Get it? Because I want to delete my fat ass! I heard you want an insert. HIYO! Product Site Thanks to Kristin, who wants an escape.

Are you a bicyclist that’s tired of being cut off and hit by cars? Well get a pair of these handlebar key plugs and you can at least deface the perpetrator’s car in the process of getting run over. These modified handlebar plugs speak to the disgruntled urban cyclist. By retro-fitting stock parts with up-cycled keys, bikers can now find satisfaction with close encounters. This concept puts a new twist on the timeless tradition of car-keying revenge. By Matt Braun and Jared Delorenzo. They cost $5 for a set of two and fit snugly into regular handlebars and assholes. But in all honesty, if I catch you keying my car I can and will kill you. I’m serious — if you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

Want to make sure nobody in the office steals your keyboard ? Well how about a Klingon one? This exclusive Klingon language keyboard is based on the best selling G83-6000 series keyboards from Cherry. It is a good quality keyboard with 105 keys, PS/2 connection and is available currently in black. This keyboard will be available for delivery from mid November, but demand for this limited edition is high so reserve yours now to be the first with this exclusive model. “Good quality”, pfft, that’s marketing speak for piece of shit. Why do I get the feeling somebody got a great deal on a bunch of old keyboards and retrofitted them with Klingon keys? Right, because that’s exactly what happened. Get your today for about $65. Thankfully, I got mine yesterday. jIH ‘oH tlhIngan chugh SoH Har wIj nach ‘oH qab SoH ghajbe’ leghpu’ wIj penis! Klingon Keyboard: for serious Trekkies only [dvice] and Klingon Translator