King of Queens fans rejoice: your borough monarch is still on his way to becoming an unlikely, terrible star. Deadline Hollywood has news the portly Hitch protégé will soon be on movie screens again, this time playing a friend of that guy you used to like in Swingers until he filled his curriculum vitae with various poor husband roles: Ron Howard is setting Kevin James to play Vince Vaughn’s best friend in the untitled Universal Pictures comedy about infidelity. The film is Howard’s next directing vehicle from a screenplay by Allan Loeb. Kevin and Vince will play best friends and business partners, and Vaughn is tortured when he observes his pal’s wife getting intimate with another man. Should he tell? What an interesting concept: Should a human tell his best friend that his wife cheats on him? Or should he be the worst best friend ever? Tell me, Ron Howard!

The Bad Boys of SNL (with King of Queens replacing Chris Farley as the fat one) are having so much fun wearing shirts on a water slide! I bet that’s similar to the sort of fun I’d have watching Grown Ups ! Conclusion: I should probably go to the theater on June 25. ‘Grown Ups’ Poster [IMPA]

After watching this trailer for the new Adam Sandler , Chris Rock , Rob Schneider and David Spade movie Grown Ups , I am strangely getting pretty psyched to see Old Dogs : Wow. I feel like I’m missing something here. Is this a pitch perfect mockery of everything bad about Hollywood comedies? I know every one one of these actors has been in a terrible movie or two before, but there’s no way they’d join forces and make movie with a hacky title like Grown Ups , right? Between the Disney narration to that shot of “the guys” laughing and drinking wine in a cemetary to Kevin James hitting that tree, someone at some point HAD to have said something along the lines of, “We’ll show those jerks on the internet how you make a fake cheesy movie trailer!” These guys are professional comedians. They don’t actually expect us to believe this movie would be a good way to spend two hours and $13… right? To Chris Rock’s credit, he looks pretty embarrassed to be involved at all. Also, I’m guessing they passed on these titles: Adults Older People Middle Aged Family Men Growin’ Old Mature Human Beings The Untitled Adam Sandler Project He’s Contractually Obligated To Make But Not Contractually Obligated To Put An Ounce Of Original Thought In To Via Dan: When Will Dude From Grandma’s Boy Show Up

The trailer for the childhood-friends-reunite-as-adults film Grown-Ups is here. Watching it, I have to think this will probably be a new generation’s The Big Chill . Except no it won’t, because The Big Chill was college friends, and it never included gags where Jeff Goldblum swings into a tree and comically rolls down a hill. Maybe it’s a new generation’s Now and Then , without any of the flashback scenes? Or maybe it’s just The Bad Boys of SNL Reunite as Dads, and Also King of Queens Is Here Instead of Chris Farley (RIP) :

The beautiful, miniature-panty-licking Rosario Dawson has signed on to play the love interest in Kevin James’s newest pedestrian job-based comedy, The Zookeeper . Because that’s a believable couple. And also a thoroughly believable movie story involving animal matchmakers: Rosario Dawson will star opposite Kevin James in romantic comedy “The Zookeeper,” with Happy Madison producing along with James, Todd Garner, Jeff Sussman and Jennifer Eatz. Live actioner centers on zoo animals trying to teach the keeper their methods of dating and mating to help him win back the woman of his dreams. Ohhhh, he’s winning back Rosario Dawson. I thought he’d be wooing her for the first time. That makes sense then. He used to date Rosario Dawson, but then they broke up because he didn’t know how to mate, but now the two will get back together because sentient zoo animals have since taught Kevin James animal methods of sex. That plot is sound. I see how this could work out well: Penguin: “Insert your penis into her vagina.” Paul Blart: “I can’t! I’m on a Segway! This is crazy!” Rosario Dawson: “I love you. Again.” Announcer: “Buy The Zookeeper on DVD and Blu-ray this Tuesday.” ‘Zookeeper’ locks up Rosario Dawson [Variety]

He’s played a UPS driver; he’s played a fireman; he’s played a Paul Blart mall cop; he played a profession I can’t recall in Hitch ; but what blue collar profession will Kevin James tackle next? A zookeeper. He’ll play a zookeeper : Kevin James, fresh from “Paul Blart: Mall Cop,” will star in the title role in MGM’s “The Zookeeper” for director Frank Coraci. In a reteam of “Blart” producers, Happy Madison’s producing with James and Jeff Sussman through their Hey Eddie shingle and Todd Garner through his Broken Road banner. “Zookeeper,” penned by Jay Scherick and David Ronn, centers on a lonely zookeeper who decides to leave his job because he can’t meet a girl, leading to intervention by the zoo’s animals. Kevin James is truly a jack-of-all-trades-that-don’t-require-a-degree. He’d better watch out with the animal intervention thing though–he’s getting dangerously close to Brendan Fraser’s territory .

Just last month I wondered why Kevin James comes off as so comically inoffensive. Most of you commented on his lack of starring roles, and the fact that he hasn’t been in our faces enough to inspire the vitriol spewed towards the likes of other disappointing funny men. But now that might change — Variety reports that the producers behind Paul Blart: Mall Cop are giving James another starring role, this time in Frank Coraci’s The Zookeeper. Just call him Kevin ‘The Keeper of Public Places’ James. For this flick, written by Jay Sherick and David Ronn, James will play a zookeeper who plans to leave his job because he can’t seem to meet a girl, only to have the animals intervene. Move over Ace Ventura! Producer Todd Garner says that James was always a first choice because of his talents in physical comedy. Maybe, I guess, but I at least hope that they don’t shuffle him into this unrealistically goofy and out-to-lunch Blartish role again. James is better with the sarcasm (just watch him talk about renting a car ), and to leave that behind could very well thrust him into Murphy disappointment in a jiff. Filed under: Comedy , Casting Permalink | Email this | Comments

This can’t go well: Kevin James, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Spade are in negotiations to star in an untitled comedy for Columbia Pictures. Frequent Sandler collaborator Dennis Dugan (”You Don’t Mess With the Zohan”) will helm, with the studio gearing up for a summer start date. Sandler’s Sony-based Happy Madison shingle, which recently teamed with James and the studio on the box office hit “Paul Blart: Mall Cop,” is producing. Sandler penned the screenplay with “Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star” scribe Fred Wolf. High-concept story is a comedy about five best friends from high school who reunite 30 years later on a Fourth of July weekend. So what they’re getting at is that this is a movie about SNL, but instead of calling it “a popular, weekly sketch comedy program” they’re calling it “high school”, and instead of Chris Farley it’s Kevin James. I can’t quite figure out what the reuniting on “Fourth of July weekend” part represents. Maybe a declaration of independence from genuine laughter? Columbia pic gets Sandler and friends [Variety]

How Kevin James managed to open a movie called Paul Blart: Mall Cop to the tune of $39 million in the middle of January may become one of those cosmic mysteries, like the origin of the universe and what the “Frost Glacier Freeze” flavor of Gatorade actually is. It’s kind of astonishing, and a little disturbing. What drew people, exactly? Was it the part in the trailer where he tries a rolling maneuver but misses and has to painfully drag his fat self behind a mall billboard? Two halfway-decent newcomers languished in third and fourth, though I would think that both My Bloody Valentine and Notorious are happy with their circa-$24 million 4-day bows. Notorious , in particular, opened on just over 1,600 screens, giving it the best per-screen average on the chart. Hotel for Dogs landed just below the two with $22.5 million — also pretty good for a fairly anonymous little family film opening against a higher-profile family film. As a footnote, $19.7 million of My Bloody Valentine ’s $24.24 million came from its pricier 3-D playdates, showing that 3-D is a considerable draw (and perhaps also that filmgoers are savvy to the fact that these films play in 3-D in some theaters and in 2-D in others). Defiance expanded into wide release, ending up with a $10.7 million holiday weekend, which seems roughly commensurate with its failed Oscar hopes. Gran Torino and Slumdog Millionare both held up well, with the latter actually seeing a gain compared to last weekend, even if you don’t count Monday (and even though its screen count dropped slightly). The full 4-day top 10 after the jump. Filed under: New Releases , Box Office Continue reading Weekend Box Office: ‘Mall Cop’ Cleans Up Permalink | Email this | Comments

The other night I was sitting on my friend’s couch, and while watching some television, an advertisement for Paul Blart: Mall Cop popped up. It was a bit painful to watch. (Well, really painful, but I was pitifully attempting to be nice.) However, rather than evoking a “that’s not my thing” reaction, or a rant about the deterioration of Hollywood, it was like watching that earnest and untalented kid at the talent show who is trying their hardest, but just not getting a good reaction from the audience. You feel for them, but know that it’s a lost cause. As Kevin James’ Paul Blart hunched down and weaved through the queue ropes, my friend said that he had nothing against James, but that the “funny” guy’s roles were awful. This came from a guy who enjoys chastising the foibles of Hollywood — the one who doesn’t pull any punches. That led me to think: What is it about Kevin James that comes off as entirely inoffensive, even when his work looks downright terrible? From what I’ve seen, he doesn’t evoke the same vehemence saved for the likes of modern-day Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, or other comedians making questionable cinematic moves. Is it because he didn’t have a solid start to build love and fandom, so less disappointed vehemence bubbles out? The same could be said about Dane Cook, but I think his naysayers come much more from a place of a rebellion against Cook’s fandom. Is his earnestness that palpable that we just can’t bring ourselves to rip him apart? Do we expect that little of him? Filed under: Comedy , Celebrities and Controversy Permalink | Email this | Comments