Today only at Teefury (shirt will not be available for sale after today) $9 plus $2 shipping takes home (well, technically, ships) this Mario inspired t-shirt. As you can see, Mario can’t plumb to save his life. Get it? Because he’s dead — he drowned. I swear, where’s your green brother when you need him? I heard that dude can lay some serious pipe. I’m talking about having sex. With pipes. Teefury (with geek-inspired t-shirts all week, so look back tomorrow for a Star Wars shirt and Friday for Sesame Street — I get the newsletter) Thanks to Roy, who once monkey wrenched a warp pipe into submission.

Despite LiLo's debut collection at fashion house Emanuel Ungaro being called both a "disaster" and "an embarrassment," chief exec Mounir Moufarrige says Lindsay is staying on! What, you thought they'd actually fire her? She's the only reason they're getting…

Apparently this is a real resignation from a designer in Doesitreallymatter, Somestate, that was tired of being treated like the proverbial piece of monkey shit. According to somebody who allegedly knew what was going on: He believed he was in a temp-to-hire position, and after three months of extra hours and butt-kissing, turns out it’s just a temp position. He was a good worker too. I’d have recommended him. Too bad he burned his bridges. First of all, I want it to be noted that the Geekologie Writer doesn’t brown-lip. And thirdly, “too bad he burned his bridges?” Really? More like TOO BAD HE ERECTED A TOWER OF AWESOME! I’d hire this guy and I don’t even have anything for him to do besides quit. I can’t wait to see how it does it this time! One of my co-workers quit today. We found this on his desktop. [reddit] (with a huge discussion of how this makes people feel. Like others care — HA!) via Best “I Quit” Note Ever [thehighdefinite] Thanks to Blastphemer, who once quit a job with two gallons of gasoline and a pack of matches.

Apparently this is a real resignation from a designer in Doesitreallymatter, Somestate, that was tired of being treated like the proverbial piece of monkey shit. According to somebody who allegedly knew what was going on: He believed he was in a temp-to-hire position, and after three months of extra hours and butt-kissing, turns out it’s just a temp position. He was a good worker too. I’d have recommended him. Too bad he burned his bridges. First of all, I want it to be noted that the Geekologie Writer doesn’t brown-lip. And thirdly, “too bad he burned his bridges?” Really? More like TOO BAD HE ERECTED A TOWER OF AWESOME! I’d hire this guy and I don’t even have anything for him to do besides quit. I can’t wait to see how it does it this time! One of my co-workers quit today. We found this on his desktop. [reddit] (with a huge discussion of how this makes people feel. Like others care — HA!) via Best “I Quit” Note Ever [thehighdefinite] Thanks to Blastphemer, who once quit a job with two gallons of gasoline and a pack of matches.

This is a video of ninja /sign-spinner Matthew Kermode. He can spin a sign like nobody’s business . But it is — he works for a sign-spinning business! Taking his headphones off to talk with us for a second, the sign samurai handed us a card out of his wallet: “Matthew Kermode — AArrow Sign Spinner, Spinstructor.” (Yes, “AArrow.”) He said he’s been doing this for 10 years now, translating his martial arts work to a more marketable skill. Kermode mostly works in the East Bay for the Martinez-based AArrow, spinning signs for housing developers. As far as who today’s client Jigsaw is, “I’m not 100-percent sure.” Kermode tried to be modest, saying he’s not the most talented spinner in the company. “We have a team of 15 guys right now and they all have talent. Different degrees of skill, but they all have talent.” He couldn’t have gotten the title “Spinstructor” for nothing. “…translating his martial arts work to a more marketable skill”??? What’s more marketable than STEALTH ASSASSIN-RY? I can’t think of anything. Well, besides handsome blogger. Yep yep yep, TONS of opportunity over here. The Amazing Spinning Sign Samurai Wows Fourth Street [sfweekly] Thanks to Rich the Destroyer, Bob the Builder’s mortal enemy.

And no, professional party girl doesn't count! After we heard reports that Lindsay's Ungaro job is on the line, and following the whole misunderstanding about her supposed gig with Bebe the other day, it looks like Lindsay Lohan could…

Uh oh! Though Lindsay Lohan and a small handful of people were excited when she was named artistic advisor at Ungaro, it doesn't look like the feeling is mutual! As you remember, as soon as Lindsay joined the company,…

This is a video of the workers in a Microsoft store dancing around and clapping like the bunch of out-of-shape retail employees they are. That said, I would’ve passed out halfway through the song BUT ONLY CAUSE I’D BEEN DRINKING. The Blackeyed Peas compel the employees at the Microsoft Store in Mission Viejo, California to break out in dance, let their hair down and have some fun. This is an amazing store, the employees seem really excited and engaged, almost happy to be at work. My favorite parts are when people walking in the mall come inside the store, join in the dancing and have some fun. The amazing thing is that people are in the store for hours, they love interacting with the software and learning about new technology. Wow, like THAT doesn’t sound like the biggest bunch of promotional bullshit I’ve ever read. People spending hours in a retail store, really? THEY’RE CALLED HOMELESS. The last time I ever spent hours in a retail establishment my mom forgot me at Sears while I was playing in the middle of a clothes rack and they closed the store for the night . And that, my friends, is why I can’t sleep without a circular saw. Youtube Thanks to Patrick, Mark, babysteps and Mixtech, who, dance! *pew pew* I SAID DANCE!

Uh-oh, Lindsay may have to add "financial" to her long list of troubles. Fox News reports that Lindz was dropped from her label, Casablanca records. And while she wasn't exactly nurturing her singing career as of late, losing a…

Well, she has been on relatively good behavior recently, that trip to Hawaii definitely did her some good, and now Lindsay Lohan has landed herself a movie role! According to Variety, Lindsay will star in an "indie fantasy comedy"…