The ThermaHelm motorcycle helmet keeps your brain on ice in the event of an accident . That’s important because if you’ll recall those anti-drug commercials from yesteryear: a cooked egg brain is no good. Except with buttered toast. I say throw a halved grapefruit into the mix and I’m….damnit, stay focused, GW. The ThermaHelm is a carbon-fiber lid with two lightweight chemical packs — one water, the other ammonium nitrate — built into the lining of the helmet. In the event of impact, the contents of the two packs mix together, triggering a cooling reaction. The $490 invention will be launched in the UK in May this year, and they are already developing a more sophisticated version which, at $815, will include a video camera, GPS and Bluetooth. Well I don’t know about you, but there’s no price too high to pay for my heath. Unless insurance won’t cover it, in which case, I want you to pull the plug. I’m not waking up to a million dollar medical bill. I’d rather go bang dinos in space heaven. ThermaHelm ice pack helmet saves lives and frozen peas [dvice]

This is a very well made stop-motion LEGO short . I highly recommend you watch it. I did — twice, and I found it really inspiring. Not as inspiring as the Special Olympics, but still pretty good. Lego Short Film Makes Me Want to Play With Legos Immediately [gizmodo]

This is a very well made stop-motion LEGO short . I highly recommend you watch it. I did — twice, and I found it really inspiring. Not as inspiring as the Special Olympics, but still pretty good. Lego Short Film Makes Me Want to Play With Legos Immediately [gizmodo]

The cleavage caddy may look like a breast-shaped CD holder for your car’s sun visor, but it’s not. No, it’s a purse a woman (or moobed gentleman — hopefully with a monocle) stows between their breasts (look at me using the proper nomenclature!) and bra . An insert for your bra with or without an added lace accent to to enhance your attire with a feminine influence. If you choose the lace version, the lace covers your cleavage, adding an extra element of modesty, while still allowing you to carry all of your personal items discretely tucked in your bra. These are worn anchored to the bra by the elastic strap with a snap. Tuck away your keys, credit cards, lipstick and more! Caddies cost $30 and are guaranteed to make your boobs look all angular and pointy and generally undesirable. But will guys still stare at them? Absolutely. Available in medium (below 38D) and large (above 38D) something something MOTORBOAT! *BWUBWUBWUBWWUB!* Pulitzer me. Product Site Thanks to Justin, who totally didn’t find the site searching “cleavage” on Google (yes he did too).

Snow Shorts are a pair of shorts that have a sled bottom so you can sail down snowy hills without lugging an annoying-ass sled everywhere you go. Also, I want it to be noted that Raphael there is doing it horribly, horribly wrong. You won’t have to worry about carrying your sled up the hill again and again because the sled is now your butt. Yes, it’s a wearable sled! Just wear the snow shorts over your pants and get your butt on that snow. It comes in 3 sizes: small kids, big kids, and adult for $35. Now I hate to brag about my sextacular proportions, but I’m definitely gonna have to wear a big kids size on each buttcheek . Now I know what you’re thinking, and since I’m a kind and generous wizard, I’ll answer: custom toilet. Snow Shorts with a built-in Butt-Sled [slipperybrick] Thanks to Closet Nerd, who agrees a little non-caloric silicon-based kitchen lubricant on the bottom of that thing and you’re ready to set a land-speed record.

Rear Gear Butt Covers ( “No more Mr. Brown Eye” — not even kidding) are little $5 cardboard cutouts that hang from your pet’s tail and cover its butthole. Jesus Christ. Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I’ve got them covered… Rear Gear is handmade in Portland, OR and offers a cheerful solution to be-rid your favorite pet’s un-manicured back side. Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, air freshener, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff’s badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom, so there’s a Rear Gear for everyone. Admittedly, I hate an animal’s bare b-hole touching my arm as much as the next guy, but I’m not definitely not hanging a trunk ornament on it. My pet deserves her dignity, damnit. Aaaaand now she’s licking it. NO I DON’T WANT A KISSIE! Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a link to the Etsy sale page.

The Shoedini is a shoehorn on a pole . It’s for people that don’t like to/can’t bend over to take their shoes off. I’ve got news for your folks: if you can’t take your shoes on and off without a shoehorn on a stick, it’s time for slippers . And probably a diet/will. Youtube Thanks to Petey, who doesn’t need a shoehorn because he has ninja-feet and can walk on hot coals without wincing.

The SWITCH Screwdriver has a handle that can transform (and rotate out!) from a standard handle to one that’s perpendicular to the shaft for EXTRA TORQUE and EXTREME SCREWING! SUNDAY! SUNDAY SUNDAY! But truthful, I only posted this because one of the inventors’ names is Wang Dongdong. Best journalist in the world? You better believe it! Designed by Jiangdang University students Liu Yunlong, Jia Peng, Cheng Peng, Wang Dongdong and Xin Yaoyao, the SWITCH has a shaft that can lock into place at 90 degrees to the handle, making it easier to tighten screws to their most secure. Yes, secure screws are important. I’m talking about wrapping it up, folks. Fun fact: there are actually STDs that can make your wiener/vagina fall off. SWITCH screwdriver a simple, credible idea [dvice]

Gosh, it seems like only yesterday I was hard at working fashioning a bong out of my gerbil’s old Habitrail. But it wasn’t, it was this morning I’m doing it right now. Anybody have a hot glue gun? The Gerbil Shirt wraps your torso in plastic tube passageways, making your bod a super highway of fun for Binky and Bart. The interior surfaces are textured for traction and have air vents for easy breathing. The inventor suggests you can clean the Gerbil Shirt by attaching it to a faucet (remove pets first please), and you should avoid collisions and falls that could cause pet panic. Listen, I’m not one to judge, except I totally am BECAUSE I’M SO GOOD AT IT. Wapner? Pfft, that old pantstain couldn’t gavel his way out of a wet paper bag. Judy? Wrinkled whore. But a Habitrail vest? That’s just a solid product. Gerbil Shirt [ohgizmo] Thanks to david, who better not catch you trying to run one of those tubes up your butt.

The After Office Tie, by Argentinian design firm Sinapsis, appears to be an ordinary neck tie when worn under a suit. But little will your boss know that there’s actually a bottle opener at the bottom perfect for opening happiness (read: booze) while on the clock! You know, this reminds me: one day I almost finished a whole case of beer at work. *glug glug glug* Aaaaaaaand I did it! Now, who’s down for happy hour? I will drink your ass under the table! Oooh, and while you’re down there — you spy any loose Chex mix? I like the cereal bits. Concept: Tie with built-in bottle opener [crunchgear] Thanks to Jason, who opens beer bottles with his eye socket like a normal pirate.