Tinysaurs are little dinosaur models created by artist Kelly Farrell. They’re cute as hell and you better believe I’m gonna catch ‘em all . Then lacquer them and carry them around in my pocket . ZOMG — I hope they nibble holes in my underwear! Each one is laser cut out of oak tag board using a 35 watt cutting laser, and pre-perfed for (relatively) easy assembly - assuming you’ve got some really steady hands. The T-Rex, triceraptops, stegosaurus and woolly mammoth kits are all available over at Kelly’s Etsy shop , the Maker’s Market , or Everything Tiny and cost just $7 (USD) unassembled, and $16 with a pair of tweezers and glue in a handy gift tin. If you’re a complete lazy-ass with no hand-eye coordination Kelly is also selling pre-assembled dinos in a little glass case for $60. I don’t recommend those. You get no street-cred for buying things preassembled. Hit the jump for several more pics of the possibilities!

Tinysaurs are little dinosaur models created by artist Kelly Farrell. They’re cute as hell and you better believe I’m gonna catch ‘em all . Then lacquer them and carry them around in my pocket . ZOMG — I hope they nibble holes in my underwear! Each one is laser cut out of oak tag board using a 35 watt cutting laser, and pre-perfed for (relatively) easy assembly - assuming you’ve got some really steady hands. The T-Rex, triceraptops, stegosaurus and woolly mammoth kits are all available over at Kelly’s Etsy shop , the Maker’s Market , or Everything Tiny and cost just $7 (USD) unassembled, and $16 with a pair of tweezers and glue in a handy gift tin. If you’re a complete lazy-ass with no hand-eye coordination Kelly is also selling pre-assembled dinos in a little glass case for $60. I don’t recommend those. You get no street-cred for buying things preassembled. Hit the jump for several more pics of the possibilities!

Are you richer than God ? Are you considering the purchase of an Aston Martin Rapide? If so, please hire me — I’ll do anything. Sexual favors excluded. Sexual flavors , okay. Mmmm, this tastes like lube ! The AMVOX2 Rapide Transponder heralds the second generation of the revolutionary creation that sealed the ties between the Grande Maison from the Vallée de Joux and the legendary British luxury sports car manufacturer. Released several months ago, it is the first mechanical watch developed with the ability to control access into a luxury sports car by means of a built-in micro transmitter system serves to lock and unlock the Aston Martin DBS car, while maintaining the key functions of the famous vertical-trigger mechanism equipping the pushpiece-free chronograph. That’s right, a $30K watch that unlocks your car doors . It may even start the engine too, I dunno. But that’s not the point. The point is this: if you can’t even use a regular key you probably shouldn’t be driving. Hit the jump for another shot of the watch and one of the car. Vroom vroom?

This $40 backpack from Hot Topic (I know, I secretly love that place too!) holds shit and makes you look like a ninja turtle . What more could you ask for from a bookbag ? Jesus, it’s not gonna do your math homework. This backpack is in the shape of a half-shell and includes four masks. Turtle power! WOOT! That’s right, the bag includes masks in all four turtle colors! I like turtles! AND getting high in the Turtle Van. Come on guys, make me an honorary member. I’ll wear the brown mask AND WIELD A F***ING LIGHTSABER! Now, give it to me straight — which one of you is banging April? Master Splinter — GTFO!! Product Site via The Daily What Thanks to Pete, who once pulled Krang out his android body’s stomach and beat him with a shovel.

The Workaholic Pillow Book isn’t so much a book as a bound pillow . A $62 bound pillow. Still, if your boss is stupid enough to think you’re reading when you’re actually asleep at your desk , I want your job. You have a designated parking spot, right? Well I think I just backed into you. Product Site via Workaholic Pillow Is The Only Textbook You’ll Really Need For Higher Learning [ohgizmo]

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Wow, a laser mouse that transforms into a dinosaur — why didn’t I think of that?” And the answer, my budding little inventor, is that you have little to no inventive talent. Sorry but your parents have wanted me to tell you for months. It seems that the Decepticons have been busy and created dinobots of their own. This is a fully functional optical laser mouse designed from the Tomy Takara toy line up that you can transform into the T-rex version of the evil Dinasauler. It is a black version with purple highlights and comes with a Deception sticker. It’s a standard 3-button mouse, with a center scrolling button, connects via your USB port and works with Windows98/Me/2000/XP/Vista and MAC. The awesomeness comes at a cost though. Specifically, $58. Which, no lie, is more than I make in a day. Hooking. That’s it, no more free HJ’s. Starting tomorrow. Product Site Thanks to Anna, who transformed into an angel and almost flew into a power line. You gotta be careful, Anna, flying doesn’t come naturally.

Want to view life as one long-ass episode of Mystery Science Theater ? Who doesn’t, amirite? Well now you can thanks to these Mystery Science Theater 3000 glasses ! Unfortunately, you’ll still have to provide your own witty banter . Which — let’s be honest, nobody finds that witty except you. Reminds me of my writing! I swear, I slay me. And dragons. Back me up, damsel. No? You are such a bitch. Hit the jump for two more shots of the shades.

Sleep Suits are genius. Basically you put one on , and then look like a huge f***ing ( comfortable ) jackass while you sleep — anywhere ! Plus, they have perforations all over that allow “human contact”. I love being groped! The suit is inspired by Buckminster Fuller’s practice of Dymaxion Sleeping. In this, there are a total of four 30 minute naps taken over a period of 24 hours. Listen, I’ve tried the whole four short naps style of sleeping before, and I’ve got to admit: it’s not that bad if you still get a solid 14 hours at night. Just sayin’, I have bedsores. Hit the jump for three more shots of the ZZZZZzzzzz zzzzz’s .

Sleep Suits are genius. Basically you put one on , and then look like a huge f***ing ( comfortable ) jackass while you sleep — anywhere ! Plus, they have perforations all over that allow “human contact”. I love being groped! The suit is inspired by Buckminster Fuller’s practice of Dymaxion Sleeping. In this, there are a total of four 30 minute naps taken over a period of 24 hours. Listen, I’ve tried the whole four short naps style of sleeping before, and I’ve got to admit: it’s not that bad if you still get a solid 14 hours at night. Just sayin’, I have bedsores. Hit the jump for three more shots of the ZZZZZzzzzz zzzzz’s .

Let’s face it, your children don’t have any hand-eye coordination. Or, in my case, hands or eyes. You see, I don’t have any children and I want to keep it that way — at least until I come up with a really clever alias. Beefy McLargehuge? So yeah, you might want to get your kids some $2 dinosaur chopsticks before they poke their own eyes out with separated ones. And get me a few pairs while you’re at it. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Hey GW — these are probably the closest you’ll ever come to having a dino in your mouth”. And, well, now you’re just being vicious. Product Site Thanks to Closet Nerd, who once fell asleep in there and never heard his friend yell rodeo.