NOTE : Video AFTER THE JUMP is NSFW due to thong. I told you it was a special bonus — AND I DON’T LIE! This is a video of Robin Williams on ‘Late Night with Jimmy Fallon’ talking about getting “OWNED” by 10 year-olds playing Call of Duty and naming his daughter after Princess Zelda . Respect (I loved you in Mrs. Doubtfire!). And, since it’s Friday (and I feel kinda bad about the Lara Croft thing), I included a video of a girl in a thong crushing a watermelon between her thighs that I found on the same site after watching the Robin Williams video. The sound alone was enough to give me the chills. Just like fingernails on a chalkboard, except a woman crushing a melon with her hooha. Hit it for the watermelon crushing fright-fest.

This is a short video of Boeing and the Air Force testing a plane-mounted laser’s ability to burn the everliving shit out of a stationary object during a flyby . Mission accomplished! This video shows the effect of the high-energy laser beam from the Boeing Advanced Tactical Laser (ATL), fired at a stationary truck from a US Air Force NC-130H (Hercules) flying over White Sands Missile Range, New Mexico, on August 30, 2009. The ATL is a chemical oxygen iodine laser (COIL), and is a scaled-down version of the megawatt-class high-energy laser in the Boeing YAL-1 Airborne Laser (ABL). Did that say scaled down? Because this thing was powerful enough to set a truck’s hood on fire from who knows how far away. Now imagine the much more powerful megawatt laser pointed at your face. You’ll have to wear glasses after that for sure! Youtube Thanks to Zach, who has one of these lasers mounted on his arm to heat frozen burritos. Good lookin’, Zach, love those things.

Wow, they’re not even trying to make them look cute anymore. The Japanese born ROBOTOPS is a construction robot whose name is spelled in all caps because IT MEANS BUSINESS. The killing business. The four-legged, two-armed robot is actually a kind of automated mobile crane with 29 functioning joints for picking off humans, and of course the occasional piece of construction material. Using a high quality three-chip CCD camera, the robot can be operated remotely for particularly dangerous jobs. And no, I didn’t alter that quote at all. Finally, people are starting to get the picture. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one that sees a problem here. Seriously, Japan — you know I love you (manga, sushi, worn panty vending machines), but this shit has got to stop. Because if not, well, Godzilla . Just sayin’, we share a special bond (read: intercourse). Japanese construction firm unleashes insectoid robot crane on humanity [dvice] Thanks to cougar78, Aaron and John, who know the only good robots are the little guys from Batteries Not Included . Am I right? No, that was a test and you all failed.

Runpee.com is a website database of movies currently in the theater with notations that let you know when it’s a good time to run to the bathroom . As you can see, this is the runpee chart for Terminator Salvation , which features several opportunities to drain your dragon. Of course, some would argue any time is good because the movie sucked. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it BECAUSE I HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE SLEEPING ALREADY. Also, I don’t like leaving my seat during a movie, so you know what I do? I use a catheter . Except I definitely don’t because I would pass out from the thought before I even had my pants down. Which is why the last movie I saw in the theater was Cars . Not even kidding. Runpee Thanks to Randi, who just asks for an empty cup from the concession stand.