I know, two hat posts in a row, what can I say — it must be your lucky day. Besides the one you met me. Which, you better not have washed your hand after we shook! But you said you wouldn’t. Anyway, the TV hat is a $20 hat that has a clear pocket you put your iPod in and little shades that come down on the sides so you can watch your iPod glare free and walk into poles and manholes and get robbed and stuff. Safe! Essentially a baseball hat with an extended visor, the TV hat has a pocket at the end of the lid for your portable player. One it’s inside, you pull down the black canvas material velcroed under the lid, creating blinders and blocking out the sun. Underneath the lid is a rectangular magnifying glass that flips down that supposedly “enhances” visibility. There are openings for your earphones, too. Wow, that sounds like something I absolutely, positively must have. Honestly, I’m bored of looking at the real world anyways. It’s all ugly people and old people and, sometimes, ugly old people. Bad combo right there. One time an old lady tried talking to me that had a beard and a hair growing out of her nose that was at least an inch long. Not out of the nostril either, the actual top of her nose . I puked in my mouth. I may be going to hell, but I puked in my mouth. Terrible commercial for the thing after the jump.

I know, two hat posts in a row, what can I say — it must be your lucky day. Besides the one you met me. Which, you better not have washed your hand after we shook! But you said you wouldn’t. Anyway, the TV hat is a $20 hat that has a clear pocket you put your iPod in and little shades that come down on the sides so you can watch your iPod glare free and walk into poles and manholes and get robbed and stuff. Safe! Essentially a baseball hat with an extended visor, the TV hat has a pocket at the end of the lid for your portable player. One it’s inside, you pull down the black canvas material velcroed under the lid, creating blinders and blocking out the sun. Underneath the lid is a rectangular magnifying glass that flips down that supposedly “enhances” visibility. There are openings for your earphones, too. Wow, that sounds like something I absolutely, positively must have. Honestly, I’m bored of looking at the real world anyways. It’s all ugly people and old people and, sometimes, ugly old people. Bad combo right there. One time an old lady tried talking to me that had a beard and a hair growing out of her nose that was at least an inch long. Not out of the nostril either, the actual top of her nose . I puked in my mouth. I may be going to hell, but I puked in my mouth. Terrible commercial for the thing after the jump.

Looking to make a statement? A shiny statement that’ll probably blind me while I’m trying to drive? Don’t think I won’t crash into you. I will crash into you . And you won’t get a penny of my insurance money. Namely because I don’t have any. Haha, what do you mean that’s illegal in my state? You’re illegal in my state! Wanna Join My Transformers Street Gang? [gizmodo] Thanks to emerica, who I just realized is a female despite the fact I’ve been referring to her as a guy forever. Sorry about that.

Looking to make a statement? A shiny statement that’ll probably blind me while I’m trying to drive? Don’t think I won’t crash into you. I will crash into you . And you won’t get a penny of my insurance money. Namely because I don’t have any. Haha, what do you mean that’s illegal in my state? You’re illegal in my state! Wanna Join My Transformers Street Gang? [gizmodo] Thanks to emerica, who I just realized is a female despite the fact I’ve been referring to her as a guy forever. Sorry about that.

I mean the Academy invited her to announce the nominations today, so she probably assumed her name would be on the list there somewhere, and no! She had to get up before the crack of down just to read…

I mean the Academy invited her to announce the nominations today, so she probably assumed her name would be on the list there somewhere, and no! She had to get up before the crack of down just to read…

James Franco was spotted leaving a deli in Park City, Utah yesterday, and even though he's bundled up and not sporting a D&G suit, he still looks yummy! James is currently at the Sundance Film Festival to promote his…

James Franco was spotted leaving a deli in Park City, Utah yesterday, and even though he's bundled up and not sporting a D&G suit, he still looks yummy! James is currently at the Sundance Film Festival to promote his…

James Franco was spotted leaving a deli in Park City, Utah yesterday, and even though he's bundled up and not sporting a D&G suit, he still looks yummy! James is currently at the Sundance Film Festival to promote his…

James Franco was spotted leaving a deli in Park City, Utah yesterday, and even though he's bundled up and not sporting a D&G suit, he still looks yummy! James is currently at the Sundance Film Festival to promote his…