This is College Humor’s take on those ‘ Windows 7 Was My Idea’ commercials. My take is fast-forward the DVR, but that’s just me and I’m pretty much an advertising expert. Microsoft : hire me, I’ll hook you up. And not just with good drugs either ALTHOUGH I DO KNOW PEOPLE IF THAT’LL MOVE MY APPLICATION TO THE TOP OF THE PILE. If not, please disregard and I’m drug free so there’s really no point in testing. See that — I’ve saving you money already! Haha, what do you mean I have weed in my hair? Windows 7 Parody [collegehumor] Thanks to jimjamjum and Bullboner Bill, your parents must really hate you.

I’ve Chatrouletted long enough to know nothing good is gonna come out of it. That was six seconds. Just long enough to try to take a reasonable screenshot while I was writing a post about it , seeing a man’s penis, and marking the website as unsafe in my internet browser. Anyway, this is funny Chatroulette picture and pretty much exemplifies what you can expect when signing on. Don’t even bother if you’re hoping for anything better. Although I did see a naked lady once. Well, a picture of one anyways. Right before the guy pulled it away from the webcam and exposed himself. Like I said, six seconds. Picture Thanks to Amber, who knows better than to Chatroulette after dark. Or anytime for that matter.

ShadyURL is a simple website . You go, enter another website’s URL, and, just like magic (it might actually BE magic ), it creates a highly questionable URL that links to the same site. It’s really a great way to get fired or put on a government watch list if that’s what you’re shooting for. Me? I’m shooting for that laughing dog in Duck Hunt. LIKE YOU COULD DO ANY BETTER, JERK. No kibble for you. ShadyURL Thanks to Clinton, who’s too good to actually send tips and posts them on Geekologie’s Facebook wall instead. *poke*

South Koreans, being the industrious people that they are, have discovered that you can substitute an individually packaged sausage to operate your iPhone or other touchscreen cellphone without ever having to take your gloves off. Plus, they make a great snack afterward! The sausages, not the Koreans. Now I know what you’re thinking, “But GW, what if I don’t have a pre-packaged sausage in my pocket?” And the answer to that, dear reader, is use the man’s penis next to you. Trust me, one time I beat 8 levels of Bejeweled before guy got off the bus! South Korea Discovers The Sausage Stylus [ohgizmo] Thanks to Grissom, who has gloves that allow you can unwrap individual fingers. Cheater.

South Koreans, being the industrious people that they are, have discovered that you can substitute an individually packaged sausage to operate your iPhone or other touchscreen cellphone without ever having to take your gloves off. Plus, they make a great snack afterward! The sausages, not the Koreans. Now I know what you’re thinking, “But GW, what if I don’t have a pre-packaged sausage in my pocket?” And the answer to that, dear reader, is use the man’s penis next to you. Trust me, one time I beat 8 levels of Bejeweled before guy got off the bus! South Korea Discovers The Sausage Stylus [ohgizmo] Thanks to Grissom, who has gloves that allow you can unwrap individual fingers. Cheater.

Jeff posted an online ad looking for disguised weapons so he can attack people without their knowing. Unfortunately, Mike replied to his ad with some DIY weaponry . Jeff was not impressed. This is the knife Mike offered him, but hit the jump to see a sweet handgun, rifle and shotgun he was also willing to part with. I don’t get it, they all look good to me. Geez Jeff, go get yourself a damn belt sword . Just don’t forget you’re wearing it when you feel like getting kinky in the bedroom. I’ve gone through had a friend go through two call girls already. Sliced their buttcheeks clean off. Hit the jump for the rest of the hilarity.

Jeff posted an online ad looking for disguised weapons so he can attack people without their knowing. Unfortunately, Mike replied to his ad with some DIY weaponry . Jeff was not impressed. This is the knife Mike offered him, but hit the jump to see a sweet handgun, rifle and shotgun he was also willing to part with. I don’t get it, they all look good to me. Geez Jeff, go get yourself a damn belt sword . Just don’t forget you’re wearing it when you feel like getting kinky in the bedroom. I’ve gone through had a friend go through two call girls already. Sliced their buttcheeks clean off. Hit the jump for the rest of the hilarity.

This is a Google Street View shot from Finland of a guy playing shake the dice by himself in his backyard. I think there might be a better shot of it out there somewhere (why would you want that?) but it looks like it’s already been removed from Google Maps . I think this is the after shot. The sad, sad after shot. Google Street View Thanks to Bret, who swears he doesn’t hunt Google Maps looking for this sort of thing. Suuuuure you don’t, Bret.

Don’t do it Admiral ! Also, is that a womp rat ? Because I don’t know if I told you but I used to bull’s-eye womp rats in my T-16 back home. Yep, yep, yep, and have a thing for my sister (I watched her shower once, it’s true). admiral ackbar [izit] and It’s a Trap Woot shirt available again

If you haven’t already seen it, this is a 20-minute review of Avatar by the same monotonously voiced cat who did the nearly hour-long Phantom Menace review . It’s pretty good. Not as good as you’re looking this morning, but God must have put diamonds in your eyes or some shit because you are lookin’ finer than a steak dinner. Are you getting this, romance writers? I’m thinking about holding a workshop. Hit the jump for part two.