It was only a matter of time: a case for Apple’s iPad that looks like a giant sanitary napkin . I know, I’m puking in my shoes even as I type. BURN HOT WINGS BURN. Introducing Hip Handmaids’ exclusive iMaxi–the only Apple iPad case made with protective wings! With its durable vinyl outer layer and plush, quilted-cotton sleeve, the iMaxi helps keep your iPad clean and dry. Plus, the iMaxi’s Velcro-latched, advanced wing design wraps snugly around your device, so your iPad always stays where it should. Best of all, it shields it from all those unsightly and embarrassing data leaks that would make any motherboard worry! The cases cost $30 and come in all white, or with an even more disturbing “bloody” red interior (pic after the jump). WTF?! I’m all for prop-comedy but even Gallagher has the draw the line somewhere…. Did anybody else just flashback to the video of the girl crushing the watermelon ? Hit the jump to see the bloodier version.

Poopsenders.com is a service that allows you to send bags of animal feces to people you don’t like. I assume it was created by a zoo employee because it’s not just cow dung that’s available, you can also opt for elephant and gorilla scat in quart and gallon sizes ($13-$24). It’s real too because I went through the entire ordering process ( The Superficial Writer has a birthday coming up). Well, that or I just got scammed. But I hope not because I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he opens that box and I run up behind him and smash his face in it and set him on fire. Best present ever! Official Site Thanks to Jcon, who sent a box to himself because he’s sick like that. You need help bro.

A bunch of French Canadians (you sound so funny!) decided to cover their friend in $37 of raw bacon and film it with the hopes of being featured on Geekologie. And, because I’m basically a super handsome ‘Make a Wish’ foundation, here it is. Per babelfish translation: We had the brilliant idea d’ to buy for 37 dollar of bacon and to do something with that nobody n’ could have made. moin d’ has; to be insane or belong to Philwillpic (thus insane) We did that to send photograph on the site of www.geekologie.com for qu’ they appear for finally carrying out one of our great dream, to be on geekology!!! Thank you with - neilmu- for the fauleuse song qu’ it has to grant to us to take Apparently they cooked and ate the bacon after, which is pretty gross, but I would have done the same thing. Shit, one time I ate a strip of bacon after it fell off my plate and bounced under the stove. It was hairy. Money shot at 1:55, but you’re gonna want to stop watching around 2:05, because things get strangely homoerotic after that. You’ve been warned (I watched it twice!). Youtube Thanks william and phil, but you should have cooked him.

This is a taxidermied mouse with a flash drive wedged up its ass . It reminds me spying days when I made off with a bunch of top secret files from the Pentagon. Except that wasn’t a flash drive , it was a stack of 5¼-inch floppies. And let me tell you: based on the way I was walking you would’ve sworn they were only 3½-inchers. I sashayed out of there like a f***ing runway model! Hit the jump for a video of the mouse in action (his LED eyes blink during data transfer!).

Holiday Inn, best known for putting me up last night and providing me with the sleep I needed to pilot my flight back home this morning, is now offering a complementary human bed warming service at its London Kensington location (pissing will still cost extra). If requested, a willing member of hotel staff will jump in your bed, dressed head to foot in an all-in-one sleeper suit, until your nightly chamber warms up. Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall described the plan as something like having a “giant hot water bottle in your bed.” Really, Jane? Was the metaphor really necessary? I’d like to think everyone here can imagine what a stranger in a bunny suit lying in their bed is like. Like awesome. I call little spoon! Holiday Inn Offers ‘Human Bed-Warming Service’ to Combat Icy Sheets [foxnews] Thanks to Jay, who’s only interested if there are different costume options.

Apparently these limited edition Star Trek waffles were released back in March to hype the new film before it came out. Why I never knew about them or got my syrup-loving paws on some is beyond me, but it probably had something to do with living under a laundry basket in my parents’ basement. Anyway, there were over 25 different out-of-this-world (kill me now) designs in total, with at least 14 containing unsafe levels of penis-shrinking Yellow #5. Which, nice try buddy, but we all know you never had any either. Hit the jump for a bunch of the other designs. But bring syrup!

This is what a toot likes like under thermal imaging . Looks kind of like a ghost , don’t you think? The ghost of dinners past! Get it?! Me neither. Also, I totally just made you stare at a man’s ass. Women don’t do that ! Right? Women don’t do that….right? Picture Thanks to Kelly, who thought it looked like musical notes.

Spit Balls are a $ 5 toy from Edmund Scientific that grow to 200x their original size and sound like something that I don’t want to touch. Still, for the sake of science , I’d put them in my mouth . The wonder of polymers makes these slimy spit balls possible. Easy to make and fun to use, spit balls grow to 200x their original size and are slimy to the touch. Slip, slide, and bounce the balls until they explode on target. “Growing to 200x it’s original size”….”slimy to the touch”….”bouncing the balls until they explode on target”….remind you of something else? Yeah, me neither. Product Site via Finally Some Real Innovation! Polymer Spit Balls Grow To 200x Their Original Size [ohgizmo]

Listen, I love the booze more than anything, but there’s no way I’m drinking a curdled shot , I don’t care how much it looks like a delicious brain . I’ve been tricked into it before, and I’m definitely not doing it on purpose. But, if you insist on being grody: bloody brain shooter 1 1/4 oz. strawberry vodka such as Stoli 1/8 oz. Rose’s lime juice 3/4 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream Splash of grenadine Preparation: Chill vodka for better smoothness. Add vodka and lime juice to a shaker, shake and strain into a shot glass. Using a straw, dip some Bailey’s Irish Cream into the shot. Once you submerge the straw into the Bailey’s put your finger on top of the straw to hold the Bailey’s in the straw. Dip the straw tip into the vodka and slowly release your top finger. The Bailey’s will curdle a little bit due to the lime juice and you should be able to make strands of Bailey’s. Repeat the straw/Bailey’s process to build a “brain” in the shot glass. Add a splash of grenadine to the concoction to add the ‘blood’ to the mix. Down the hatch as a shot. Alternatively, have a friend hold a shot of Bailey’s in their mouth and then add one of lime juice and swish it around. Cement mixer! Puke! Lose a friend! brain shots [folkinz] via Bloody Brain Shooters [neatorama] Thanks to Blastphemer, who doesn’t even care if he’s drinking solid booze he wants it so bad.

Two college students went and made a fart detector. Nice one guys, but I can honestly say I never made anything like this in college . ALL I MADE WERE STRAIGHT C’s AND LOVE TO WOMEN. Ooooooh! I’m sure the two Cornell computer engineering students who made it are quite bright, and combining a hydrogen sulfide monitor, a thermometer, a microphone and custom software was impressive. Um, no. You see, I don’t know if you knew this or not but God gave us all our own fart detectors. Take a big whiff. Does it smell like ass? Congratulations, you shat yourself. Fart detector solves a problem I’ve never encountered [dvice]