Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, everybody. I hope you’re all having a good one and celebrating the inherent beauty of our diversity. And I’ve got news for you — if you think you were created better than anyone else, you weren’t. “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’” “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Amen to that, Martin. And, hypothetically, let’s say yours truly somebody else had a couple kids that were hatched green and scaly. They’re still cool, right? (I swear I trained them not to eat people) HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY! Youtube Thanks to favelaj, who has a recurring dream about space monsters (stop eating right before bed).

This is arguably the best commercial ever made that isn’t European (I heard they run ads with boobs ). It was produced by video makers Vacant Manifesto For an Alabamian Mexican restaurant and proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that a robot , given any opportunity, will leave you for dead and go get drunk. Ahem, Bender. Terminator 5: Dance of the Tequilabots [thenerdist] Thanks to Marty the farmer and The Superficial Writer, who can both drink any robot under the table. And then kick it. YES!

Ever wondered what baby animals look like before they’re projected out of their mothers’ vaginas ? Well now you do thanks to National Geographic . So yeah, thanks — I, uh, think. Extraordinary Animals In The Womb aired last year, using advances in scanning and imaging technology to trace the gestational paths of animals outside the human family. The documentary footage is actually a combination of digital photography, scans, and computer-generated models. The filmmakers took detailed scans of the animal’s wombs, then had the model makers recreate every blood vessel and whisker. The resulting images, while not direct photographs , are, according to the researchers, accurate representations of what goes on inside these creatures’ wombs. Ah, the miracle of life. Reminds me of the time a hippie friend of mine gave birth and then saved the placenta to eat later. Which, HORF HORF HORF HORF HORF. Seriously, you’re not a cat, lady. I mean, you ARE a cat lady, just not an actual cat yourself. *meow!* You better cut that shit out. Hit the jump for several more in utero animals including a penguin, dolphin and several dogs.

Apparently the most recent winner of X-Factor (Britain’s American Idol) is notorious for taking the #1 Christmas song spot on the charts. But this year, thanks to massive online campaigns on Twitter and Facebook created by Jon Morter, Rage Against the Machine’s 17-year old classic, ‘Killing In The Name’ took the honor. God that song makes me want to swing my hips! In recent years, it had become as predictable as elections in North Korea - singer wins X Factor, singer’s debut single goes to No 1. So when Joe McElderry won the TV talent contest, he was no doubt confident he would celebrate Christmas at the top of the charts. Killing In The Name, an expletive-heavy rock song first released in 1992 by the Californian rock band Rage Against the Machine, won the battle for Christmas top spot on the basis of downloads only. It sold about 500,000 copies last week, about 50,000 more than The Climb, McElderry’s earnest ballad. Have I ever told you I love Rage Against the Machine? I do. And not just because the name reminds me of braining my first robot with a lead pipe. No, the music meshes perfectly with my angst-filled personality. Ha, what do you mean I should probably go see a doctor about that? F*** YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!! Hit the jump for the official video of ‘Killing In The Name’, in case my awesome reference made no sense (you outta be ashamed!).

Remember the video of the Muppets performing Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ from a few weeks ago ? Well those crazy hand-up-their ass plushies are back at it, this time with the holiday classic ‘Ringing of the Bells’. And speaking of ringing bells: There was a fugitive who sought shelter in the home of a woman he knew. Her living room had a cathedral ceiling, which is to say it went all the way up to the roof peak, with rustic rafters spanning the air space below. She was a widow, and he stripped himself naked while she went to fetch some of her husband’s clothes. But before he could put them on, the police were hammering on the front door with their billy clubs. So the fugitive hid on the top of a rafter. When the woman let in the police, though, his oversize testicles hung down in full view. The police asked the woman where the guy was. The woman said she didn’t know what guy they were talking about. One of the cops saw the testicles hanging down from a rafter and asked what they were. She said they were Chinese temple bells. He believed her. He said he’d always wanted to hear Chinese temple bells. He gave them a whack with his billy club, but there was no sound. So he hit them again, a lot harder, a whole lot harder. Do you know what the guy on the rafter shrieked? He shrieked, TING-A-LING, YOU SON OF A BITCH! From Kurt Vonnegut’s ‘Timequake’. Thanks Phil. Muppets Studio Youtube Channel Thanks to The F’n Jem’Hadar, who LA, LA LA LA — LA, LA LA LA!

Knight Neversmiles of the Round Beerpong Table here went and made himself a coat of chain mail armor out of pull-tabs from beer cans . Although there may have been some pop-tops in there too, that wouldn’t surprise me. Anyway, he did a good job but there’s just no way you can look like a hard-ass wearing chainmail made out of pull-tabs. I mean I could, but I’d also…. fill your eyes with that laser vision! no disguise for my laser vision ooh, when it gets through to you, it’s always new to you my laser vision gets the best of you! F*** yeah Foreigner. Not you, Frenchie! Hit the jump for a bunch of close-ups.

The $25 Illuminated JetBib from ThinkGeek is by far the greatest advance in baby-feeding technology since the tit. The bib and wing tips feature flashing LEDs to ensure a smooth flight and that all food aboard Gerber flight B4BY makes it safely to the hanger. Plus, the spoon end is removable for easy cleaning. That’s just smart product design right there. WW2 flight helmet and goggles optional, but highly recommended. Uh-oh — bogeys at nine o’clock! Dinner’s at seven. AND DON’T BE LATE. BARREL ROLL, BARREL ROLL! Little help over here, Fox McCloud! RAT-A-TAT-A-TAT! BOOM! I’ve been hit — eject, EJECT! WHEEE EEEE EEEE!! Great, now the baby’s crying. But seriously, I think you can tell I’d make a great father. ThinkGeek Product Site via JetBib: Baby food, you’re cleared for landing [dvice]

In the third installment of the Symphony of Science series comes ‘Our Place In The Cosmos’, a quartet of interplanetary song by Carl Sagan, Richard Dawkins, Michio Kaku and Robert Jastrow. This is definitely the “Barry White” song of the series so far, and there is no doubt in my mind you could make out with a legally blind woman to it. Also, do you think it’s just a coincidence the video is 4:20 long OR IS THE UNIVERSE TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING? Pack the bong, STAT. I’m coming, God! Symphony of Science Project and Youtube Thanks to Jonathan and Kelly C., who once sang into a telescope thinking it was a giant mic.

Ged Gavin, 55, has a bionic ass and doesn’t care who knows. Which is good because I definitely just texted everyone in my phone . And by texted I mean sexted . All the kids are doing it. What? Yes I’d jump off a bridge! Mr Galvin suffered massive internal injuries and had to be fitted with a colostomy bag until surgeons at the Royal London Hospital could perform the complex operation to rebuild his bottom. The medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his sphincter, and then attached electrodes to the nerves. These are now operated by a palm-sized remote control that he carries in his pocket. “They call me the man with the bionic bottom, but that doesn’t bother me. My gratitude to the surgeons is endless because what they have done is a miracle.” Colostomy bag or a bionic ass, that’s a tough call. I’d probably opt for a bullet in my head. Kidding, suicide is never the answer. Unless you’re my ex-wife, in which case it totally is. Man uses remote to control his ‘bionic bottom’ [telegraph] Thanks to Ross, who uses a remote control to chew but is starving because he lost the thing in a couch.

ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles Atom.com: Funny Videos | Atom Originals | Star Wars Gangsta Rap This is a Star Wars gangster rap and music video created by Bent TV. It was incredibly well made except the rappers didn’t seem like real mf’ing g’s . They looked like a bunch of pranksters and studio gangsters. YES I GOT THE RIGHT TO RAP ABOUT THAT. Check it this little ditty I just came up with: Princess Leia, stupid ho, I tossed her down the Sarlacc Hole Them Ewoks furry, tauntauns warm, I shot up the Death Star And then got drunk off top-shelf liquor and had sex with like 30 AT-AT’s I AM THE HARDEST! HARDER THAN THESE DIAMOND CHAINS! ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles [atom] Thanks to Jack, Angelina, Ringo and Mark, who are all hardcore mediumcore. Not bad!