These are some mock-ups of what Zelda themed Magic: The Gathering cards might look like, as created by ZeldaInformer forum member Subrosia. Unfortunately, they’re not real . Which is a shame because had they been I might have played for longer instead of giving up and clothes-pinning the cards to make noises in my bicycle spokes. Hit the jump for Ganon and the Master Sword.

The Wasabi Fire Detector alerts you to the danger of fire with the smell of delicious condimentation. Provided you can smell it over all the smoke. And remembered to replace the batteries after you took them out that time you accidentally burnt a bag of popcorn. Actually, the alarm was designed with the deaf in mind. So a Japanese company called Air Water Safety Service has developed a new type of fire alarm that uses smell instead of sound. More specifically, it uses the chemical compound allyl isothiocyanate, which you’ll find in horseradish and wasabi, in specific quantities so as to wake someone up without giving them a burning sensation in their eyes. In testing the alarm has been found to be effective in a room roughly about 50 square feet in size, waking someone up with smell alone in about 2 and a half minutes. Not exactly springing out of bed mind you, but it does seem to work. Unfortunately the $560 price tag has meant the units aren’t exactly flying off the shelves, but the company hopes a redesign can bring the price down to a slightly more reasonable, but still kind of expensive, $225. I happened to get a model to test, so I’m gonna start a fire in a trashcan and get into bed. I’ll let you know how it goes. PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!! SUSHI!! Wasabi Smell Smoke Alarms [ohgizmo]

This is a video of some sort of Russian-made chassis that turns your car into a treaded vehicle . I’m not sure how it connects or if you have to take the wheels off, but I do know I want one . Just not as bad as I want a kit that turns my car into a monster truck. 20’s? Pleeeeaase , I’m rollin’ on 200’s fool! Russian ’strap-on tank’ turns any car into a monster [dvice]

South Koreans, being the industrious people that they are, have discovered that you can substitute an individually packaged sausage to operate your iPhone or other touchscreen cellphone without ever having to take your gloves off. Plus, they make a great snack afterward! The sausages, not the Koreans. Now I know what you’re thinking, “But GW, what if I don’t have a pre-packaged sausage in my pocket?” And the answer to that, dear reader, is use the man’s penis next to you. Trust me, one time I beat 8 levels of Bejeweled before guy got off the bus! South Korea Discovers The Sausage Stylus [ohgizmo] Thanks to Grissom, who has gloves that allow you can unwrap individual fingers. Cheater.

South Koreans, being the industrious people that they are, have discovered that you can substitute an individually packaged sausage to operate your iPhone or other touchscreen cellphone without ever having to take your gloves off. Plus, they make a great snack afterward! The sausages, not the Koreans. Now I know what you’re thinking, “But GW, what if I don’t have a pre-packaged sausage in my pocket?” And the answer to that, dear reader, is use the man’s penis next to you. Trust me, one time I beat 8 levels of Bejeweled before guy got off the bus! South Korea Discovers The Sausage Stylus [ohgizmo] Thanks to Grissom, who has gloves that allow you can unwrap individual fingers. Cheater.

Allegedly Google plans to feature the interiors of participating retail stores on Google Maps . Because, well, I’m not really sure why. Something to do with controlling the world though, that’s a given. The report comes from Search Engine Land, which was contacted by a New York company called Oh Nuts. Apparently the almond-monger recently got a visit from camera-toting Google guys, who photographed their entire store, six feet at a time, in every direction. So essentially, you’d be able to see a storefront in Street View, click on it, and check out the interior for inventory, cleanliness, layout, etc. Interesting, Google, but you know what would be even more helpful? Live webcams in Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms. That would be huge. And speaking of huge — go ahead and throw some in the plus-size stores as well. I LIKE ‘EM THICK! I’m serious — if I can’t stand comfortably in one leg of a woman’s panties I….throw that pair back and try another dryer. Google Wants to Add Store Interiors to Maps [gizmodo] Thanks to Craig, who’s only interested in pet store cams. Keep the tips coming, Craig!

Allegedly Google plans to feature the interiors of participating retail stores on Google Maps . Because, well, I’m not really sure why. Something to do with controlling the world though, that’s a given. The report comes from Search Engine Land, which was contacted by a New York company called Oh Nuts. Apparently the almond-monger recently got a visit from camera-toting Google guys, who photographed their entire store, six feet at a time, in every direction. So essentially, you’d be able to see a storefront in Street View, click on it, and check out the interior for inventory, cleanliness, layout, etc. Interesting, Google, but you know what would be even more helpful? Live webcams in Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms. That would be huge. And speaking of huge — go ahead and throw some in the plus-size stores as well. I LIKE ‘EM THICK! I’m serious — if I can’t stand comfortably in one leg of a woman’s panties I….throw that pair back and try another dryer. Google Wants to Add Store Interiors to Maps [gizmodo] Thanks to Craig, who’s only interested in pet store cams. Keep the tips coming, Craig!

Want to view life as one long-ass episode of Mystery Science Theater ? Who doesn’t, amirite? Well now you can thanks to these Mystery Science Theater 3000 glasses ! Unfortunately, you’ll still have to provide your own witty banter . Which — let’s be honest, nobody finds that witty except you. Reminds me of my writing! I swear, I slay me. And dragons. Back me up, damsel. No? You are such a bitch. Hit the jump for two more shots of the shades.

John Hunter is a man with a dream . And while most men dream of supermodel orgies (don’t lie), John dreams of shooting shit into space with a cannon . Me too, John, me too . PSSSHOOOOOOOOW!! John Hunter wants to shoot stuff into space with a 3,600-foot gun. And he’s dead serious–he’s done the math. Making deliveries to an orbital outpost on a rocket costs $5,000 per pound, but using a space gun would cost just $250 per pound. How to Shoot Stuff into Space STEP 1: HEAT IT The gun combusts natural gas in a heat exchanger within a chamber of hydrogen gas, heating the hydrogen to 2,600˚F and causing a 500 percent increase in pressure. STEP 2: LET THE HYDROGEN LOOSE Operators open the valve, and the hot, pressurized hydrogen quickly expands down the tube, pushing the payload forward. STEP 3: TO INFINITY AND BEYOND After speeding down the 3,300-foot-long barrel, the projectile shoots out of the gun at 13,000 mph. An iris at the end of the gun closes, capturing the hydrogen gas to use again. That’s all well and good, John, but the real question is this: can a human being survive the launch? And by “human being” I mean me. You think I won’t shoot myself out of your space cannon, John? Because I 100% will. Sans helmet. You really think a helmet’s gonna save you if a space cannon launch goes wrong? Because it’s not. A trampoline sure, but not a helmet. A Cannon for Shooting Supplies into Space [popsci] Thanks to Lee, who’s currently orbiting the earth from a comfy 22,236 miles out. Let me know if we need to shoot more beer.

This is a Christmas tree in China made out of a 1,000 Heineken bottles (looks like more to me, but what do I know — I’ve been drinking ) and some kind of armature to hold it all up. Probably not cake. But that would be great wouldn’t it, beer and cake? I would dive right into that sucker. Which, true story, I’m going to do anyways. *CRASH!* The beer — it’s seeping into my all my cuts….this may have been my best idea yet! Hit the jump for three more of the oh, yeah, I’m passing out.