Finally, after years of being a mis-proportioned strumpet, Barbie has finally put herself through college (stripping) and earned a Computer Engineering degree . I’m proud of you, Barbie (one more lap dance for old time’s sake?). Not only will Computer Engineer Barbie be attached to her shiny pink laptop and Bluetooth earpiece, but Mattel worked closely with the Society of Women Engineers to ensure that Barbie’s fashions were as geek chic as possible. She sports a binary tee, black skinny pants, retro-styled glasses, and totes a smartphone along with her other essentials. Way to go, Barbie. Say, is that a Tokyoflash watch? You’re hipper than I thought you were! Kidding — look at yourself. You’re wearing a binary shirt with circuit board sleeves. Barbie’s New Career: Computer Engineer! [geeksugar] Thanks to mimi and Bella, who could out-code Barbie with their eyes closed. Seriously, they’re touch-typists.

A Hello Kitty chainsaw: it was only a matter of time . Makes a great addition to you to Hello Kitty AR-15 . But not your family. You don’t want that thing suckling your teat for six months. F*** your nipples up. Hello Kitty Chainsaw [hellokittyhell] Thanks to GuamOtoko and Isaac, who have beheaded zombies with even MORE feminine chainsaws. If you can believe that.

Upset that devil worshiping is traditionally a boys-only game? Well fret not, ladies , cause now there’s a Ouija board just for you! It’s pink! Girls love pink ! Plus shoes! It has always been mysterious. It has always been mystifying. And now the OUIJA Board is just for you, girl. With 72 fun questions included, you’ll never run out of things to ask. Who will call/text me next? Will I be a famous actor someday? Who wishes they could trade places with me? Gather your friends around, draw a card, place your fingers on the planchette and ask your question. Concentrate very hard and watch as the answer is revealed in the message window. Make up your own questions, and let the OUIJA Board satisfy your curiosity in virtually endless ways. OUIJA Board will answer. It’s just a game - or is it? It’s not just a game. It’s like an empty soup can and long string STRAIGHT TO THE DEVIL’S MOUTH. Don’t believe me? One time growing up a friend and I asked what we were gonna get for Christmas that year. You know what it said? ‘SOQMNETR’. Which, last time I checked, is not how you spell ‘ALL THE HE-MAN TOYS EVER MADE INCLUDING THE CASTLE GRAYSKULL PLAYSET’. Then we threw it in the fire and heard screaming. Toys R Us via Toys R Us Can’t Be Serious. But They Are. [babble] Thanks to zeppomarks, who asked a Magic 8 Ball if I’d post this tip. ‘It is decidedly so’.

Lindsay Lohan might've been the star of the night, but Modern Family beauty Sofia Vergara was the actual hostess! And boy did she look voluptuous. How classy is it to host an event for a vibrator? Let's hope she…

This morning we snapped SJP and hubby Matthew Broderick taking twins Marion and Tabitha out for an adventure, and we can't get over how precious and sweet the girls are!…

This morning we snapped SJP and hubby Matthew Broderick taking twins Marion and Tabitha out for an adventure, and we can't get over how precious and sweet the girls are!…

To celebrate how much New Moon sucked the proverbial shimmering wang , here’s a trailer for Three Wolf Moon , which, at least based on this video, might actually be worth watching . That said, I did go see New Moon this weekend BUT ONLY TO MAKE A BOOTLEG. Line starts by the garage door, ladies. Twilight: Three Wolf Moon [collegehumor] Thanks to everyone who sent this in whose emails are all over the place and I would never be able to name all of: I owe you my life a pint of blood one.

Not THOSE girls, I'm referring to her three darling daughters! Yesterday we spotted Shauna Sand treating her three girls to a fancy meal in Beverly Hills, and even though the ladies were surrounded by photographers, they didn't seem fazed…

And we're not talking chores around the house! A source tells Star magazine, "Jon said he really wants to hook up with Lindsay Lohan, Kristin Cavallari and Whitney Port." Jon has reportedly "crafted a 'hit list' of starlets he'd…

Uh, what would Farrah say? Ryan O'Neal clearly has no problem hanging out with a bunch of lovely ladies on the beach in Malibu!…