Now listen, Mars : I’m not saying you should fake a disability so you can compete against Pluto in the Special Olympics, but you should. You definitely should. Mars in the Olympics [lettherebeblogs] Thanks to Julie M., who deserves the gold in Geekologie Tipping (I’m just saying that to be nice, I think this is her first one).

As many of you may know, I’m a master of the crane game (picture proof of some of my winnings after the jump — even the bullwhip), so I have no interest in Robo Catcher. Robo Catcher is an arcade prize game in which you control a little robot . The goal is to pick up a (crumpled paper filled) prize-ball and drop it down a chute. Simple, right? Not with a cheating-ass robot in the mix! Plus, the machine costs $11,000! Now I’m not saying I can think of at least a hundred better versions of the prize game, but I can. At least 200 of which involve controlling a stray cat….WITH LASERS. Plus you win kittens! I know, I know, I’m a genius. Hit the jump for a full shot of the machine, a picture of my crane-game winnings, and two videos of the robo-bastard cheating kids out of prizes.

These are some mock-ups of what Zelda themed Magic: The Gathering cards might look like, as created by ZeldaInformer forum member Subrosia. Unfortunately, they’re not real . Which is a shame because had they been I might have played for longer instead of giving up and clothes-pinning the cards to make noises in my bicycle spokes. Hit the jump for Ganon and the Master Sword.

Upset that devil worshiping is traditionally a boys-only game? Well fret not, ladies , cause now there’s a Ouija board just for you! It’s pink! Girls love pink ! Plus shoes! It has always been mysterious. It has always been mystifying. And now the OUIJA Board is just for you, girl. With 72 fun questions included, you’ll never run out of things to ask. Who will call/text me next? Will I be a famous actor someday? Who wishes they could trade places with me? Gather your friends around, draw a card, place your fingers on the planchette and ask your question. Concentrate very hard and watch as the answer is revealed in the message window. Make up your own questions, and let the OUIJA Board satisfy your curiosity in virtually endless ways. OUIJA Board will answer. It’s just a game - or is it? It’s not just a game. It’s like an empty soup can and long string STRAIGHT TO THE DEVIL’S MOUTH. Don’t believe me? One time growing up a friend and I asked what we were gonna get for Christmas that year. You know what it said? ‘SOQMNETR’. Which, last time I checked, is not how you spell ‘ALL THE HE-MAN TOYS EVER MADE INCLUDING THE CASTLE GRAYSKULL PLAYSET’. Then we threw it in the fire and heard screaming. Toys R Us via Toys R Us Can’t Be Serious. But They Are. [babble] Thanks to zeppomarks, who asked a Magic 8 Ball if I’d post this tip. ‘It is decidedly so’.

For Pac-Man’s 30th anniversary a chain of convenience stores in Japan will be selling his likeness in the shape of questionably filled cookie buns. Mmmmmm!! Now call me old fashioned, but I still like to celebrate anniversaries the way God intended: with somebody jumping out of a cake. Yep, that’s right. For limited time only, Circle K stores in Japan have started to sell these Pac-Man shaped buns. My Japanese isn’t good (as in I can’t read it at all), but from what I can tell, they sell for ¥120 (about $1.31 USD), and they’re not filled with cherries, pretzels or power pills. Instead, they’re chock full of crushed almond-flavored cookies and cream custard. That actually sounds pretty good. Anybody in Japan want to send me some? I’ll pay you back — IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES. I will strike them down with my replica Master Sword and feast on their carcasses! I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL! Hit the jump for a shot of the display — cause you can get anything you want at Japanese Circle K’s.

For Pac-Man’s 30th anniversary a chain of convenience stores in Japan will be selling his likeness in the shape of questionably filled cookie buns. Mmmmmm!! Now call me old fashioned, but I still like to celebrate anniversaries the way God intended: with somebody jumping out of a cake. Yep, that’s right. For limited time only, Circle K stores in Japan have started to sell these Pac-Man shaped buns. My Japanese isn’t good (as in I can’t read it at all), but from what I can tell, they sell for ¥120 (about $1.31 USD), and they’re not filled with cherries, pretzels or power pills. Instead, they’re chock full of crushed almond-flavored cookies and cream custard. That actually sounds pretty good. Anybody in Japan want to send me some? I’ll pay you back — IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES. I will strike them down with my replica Master Sword and feast on their carcasses! I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL! Hit the jump for a shot of the display — cause you can get anything you want at Japanese Circle K’s.

This is a video of a gamer girl (A gamer girl, not THE gamer girl) testing the durability of NES cartridges by freezing them, putting them in the washing machine, dropping them off buildings, drilling them, fireworking them and running them over with cars. How do the games fair? You’ll have to watch all 7:30 to find out! Kidding, they all survive. SPOILER : this was supposed to go before that. Youtube Thanks to ~Zak, big jerm and MoD, who have all destroyed NES cartridges beyond use. Lasers, baby, high-five!

Tuper Tario Tros. is a real game you can go HERE to play that combines elements of both Super Mario Bros. and Tetris . Basically you run around playing Mario until you can’t go any further in the game then you his SPACEBAR to switch to Tetris and build yourself a bridge, etc. to continue on your way to the princess. Each vertical bar in the background represents a Tetris playfield and will remove lines as you clear them, just like in the Ruskie game. And speaking of Ruskie games: roulette. Okay, now you go first. Oh — free turn! Tuper Tario Tros. [newgrounds] via Tuper Tario Tros. is a Mario and Tetris mash-up! [downloadsquad] Thanks to Jiakasuma, who made it further than I did (which wasn’t hard because I stopped after taking the screenshot).

Oh No…Zombies! is a real $22 board game created by Archie McPhee. It probably sucks , but if you buy it I promise to play it with you at least once. Also, Twister. Just a heads up though: I have three legs. *wink* Well, one’s a penis. It’s come to this. You’re trapped in the middle of nowhere inside a rundown shack surrounded by zombies. Your cell phone doesn’t get reception and the land lines just emit a constant busy signal. Your only hope for survival is to get to one of the abandoned stores so you can get a battery for the CB radio in the shack and a shotgun to help you survive the trip back. Good luck with that. Includes spooky gameboard, fourteen 2″ tall, plastic game pieces, thirty-four cards and three dice. That doesn’t really explain the gameplay much, so I’ll take this opportunity to make it up. You set up your character pieces in the middle, with the zombies in the exterior circle. Then, you roll the dice, get bored, and go play XBox. Fun! Hit the jump for a closeup of the board and game pieces.

I’ve seen plastic Army men cosplay before (I’m a freak like that), but this guy takes the cake — not only for having a base but, yeah, mostly for having a base. I’d still knock him over with a speeding checker though. Move over, hot chicks: this cosplay’s about to blow you out of the water [japanator] Thanks to Clint, who used to have checker wars until his fingers bled and ribs were bruised from lying on the foyer floor all day.