Despite what you may have learned in school, a petabyte isn’t a byte that lures children into its van with free candy. That’s a peda byte. No, a peta byte is 1,000 gigabytes, and this is a graphic depicting how large that is (you have to hit the jump to see the rest cause it’s really long like monkey arms). And, since I’m in a teaching mood this morning, do you know what comes after petabyte? Exabyte (1 billion gigabytes), zettabyte (1 billion terabytes) and yottabyte (1 quadrillion gigabytes). A quadrillion gigabytes? That’s a lot of files porn. I can’t even wrap my head around that. But I can wrap my head around corners to peek and make sure the coast is clear. Just sayin’, I’m stealthy! Hit the jump to see the rest.

Ever wanted a couch with USB storage in it? Me neither, but now that I know it exists I must have it! And I better not lose data like pocket change. The sofas were made by creative design studio Cabracega for last year’s International Festival for the Post-Digital Creation Culture (OFFF). As you can see (you’ll have to squint a little) the sofas have USB cables coming out of them. The 4 sofas store a total of 14GB of files which doesn’t seem like a lot, but I’m pretty sure no other storage device can accommodate up to 4 people So now you can literally SIT on your porn stash. Get it? Because before you were only doing it figuratively , but now you’ll be doing it literally ! Well of course it’s not funny if I have to explain it. Or that it really never was. DON’T ACT LIKE I DON’T KNOW. I know. usb sofas: the best flash drive ever made [technabob]

Well folks, it happened. The Pirate Bay BitTorrent tracker officially kicked the bucket yesterday. What does this mean for Pirate Bay users? Although the site will remain operational for now, millions of BitTorrent users will lose the use of its tracker and will instead have to rely on DHT and alternative trackers to continue downloading. “Now that the decentralized system for finding peers is so well developed, TPB has decided that there is no need to run a tracker anymore, so it will remain down! It’s the end of an era, but the era is no longer up2date. We have put a server in a museum already, and now the tracking can be put there as well” the Pirate Bay crew write on their blog. And what does this mean for iTunes users? iTunes sucks, there’s no porn on iTunes. HELL YES I QUOTED MYSELF IN AN ARTICLE! I know shit — I can say things! The Pirate Bay Tracker Shuts Down for Good [torrentfreak] Thanks to Bill, who hasn’t paid for music since the Green Jellö cassette with ‘Three Little Pigs’.

Lose/Lose is a video game created by Zach Gage that plays like a traditional space shooter , but with a twist ! Lose/Lose is a video-game with real life consequences. Each alien in the game is created based on a random file on the players computer. If the player kills the alien, the file it is based on is deleted. If the players ship is destroyed, the application itself is deleted. Although touching aliens will cause the player to lose the game, and killing aliens awards points, the aliens will never actually fire at the player. This calls into question the player’s mission, which is never explicitly stated, only hinted at through classic game mechanics. Is the player supposed to be an aggressor? Or merely an observer, traversing through a dangerous land? Why do we assume that because we are given a weapon an awarded for using it, that doing so is right? I didn’t actually bother reading all that because oh I dunno, I WAS TOO BUSY WHIPPING SOME ALIEN ASS! Unfortunately, the bug-eyed bastards got me in the end. Now, what happened to Photoshop? Zach’s Porfolio (game is available for download there) Thanks to Luciano, who managed to kill all the aliens AND save the princess AND see Samus Aran naked because the man is a damn hero.

Worried about somebody getting at the precious files on you flash drive ? Try keeping it in your pocket and not leaving it on the bus. But if you’re really worried you should handcuff it to your wrist like a briefcase filled with pirate treasure. Alternatively, get a Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive ($99). [The drive] features a built in num keypad that requires you to enter a pin code before you can access your data. It is the 256bit encryption, if someone try to access your data by forcing access, the Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive will automatically destroy all data stored on the drive. However, if you do worry that you’ll forget your PIN you can back everything up online, and there’s also an optional PIN replacement assistance service available too. Wow, that seems pretty intense. You must have some seriously serious files in order to require this much security. What are you, a spy? And, if so, how about hooking me up with a bow tie camera? Personal Pocket Safe USB Drive [likecool] Thanks to Ste, who keeps his data protected the old fashioned way: with hungry lions.

The British government, in an attempt to cleanse its fish and chip stained hands, has released previously confidential documents regarding little green men who come to stick things in your butt while you’re sleeping (elves). The National Archives on Monday released the government’s complete file on the “Rendlesham Forest Incident” of December 1980, one of Britain’s most famous UFO sightings. Halt reported that two servicemen had noticed “unusual lights” about 3 a.m. in the woods outside the gates of RAF Woodbridge, a U.S. base in eastern England. He wrote that patrolmen sent to investigate saw “a strange glowing object” in the forest. The metallic, triangular object “illuminated the entire forest with a white light,” he wrote. The next day, investigators found depressions in the ground and unusual radiation readings. That night many personnel — including Halt himself — saw a pulsing “red sun-like light” in the trees that broke into five white objects and disappeared. I mean, is it not common knowledge by now that aliens exist. Because if they didn’t, where did *rummaging around in ass* THIS come from?!? And no, this isn’t just a television antennae with aluminum foil wrapped around it. Okay, so maybe it is. Still, there’s something else in there, I can feel it… … … …a dinosaur toy — I’ve been looking for that! Britain publishes more UFO files, but few answers [yahoonews] Thanks to Brad, who once slept with an alien chick and didn’t even bother phoning her home the next day. Bad form, Brad.

The British government, in an attempt to cleanse its fish and chip stained hands, has released previously confidential documents regarding little green men who come to stick things in your butt while you’re sleeping (elves). The National Archives on Monday released the government’s complete file on the “Rendlesham Forest Incident” of December 1980, one of Britain’s most famous UFO sightings. Halt reported that two servicemen had noticed “unusual lights” about 3 a.m. in the woods outside the gates of RAF Woodbridge, a U.S. base in eastern England. He wrote that patrolmen sent to investigate saw “a strange glowing object” in the forest. The metallic, triangular object “illuminated the entire forest with a white light,” he wrote. The next day, investigators found depressions in the ground and unusual radiation readings. That night many personnel — including Halt himself — saw a pulsing “red sun-like light” in the trees that broke into five white objects and disappeared. I mean, is it not common knowledge by now that aliens exist. Because if they didn’t, where did *rummaging around in ass* THIS come from?!? And no, this isn’t just a television antennae with aluminum foil wrapped around it. Okay, so maybe it is. Still, there’s something else in there, I can feel it… … … …a dinosaur toy — I’ve been looking for that! Britain publishes more UFO files, but few answers [yahoonews] Thanks to Brad, who once slept with an alien chick and didn’t even bother phoning her home the next day. Bad form, Brad.

The Pirate Bay , one of the world’s best known torrent search portals, is being sold to some Swedish firm. It will no longer be so piratey . Global Gaming Factory X AB, a Swedish firm that runs Internet cafes and game centers, plans to buy The Pirate Bay for 60 million kronor (~$8 million), twice the fine that was slapped on The Pirate Bay defendants by a Stockholm court earlier this year. …the new owners plan to make it a legal service that allows “content providers and copyright owners [to] get paid for content that is downloaded via the site.” “Legal service”….”paid for content”….they better change the name. Pirate Bay sold, to become more like Carnival Cruise Lines [arstechnica] Thanks to Thumperchica and Zombie Pirate LeChuck, who agrees this isn’t even Disney Pirate’s Bay any more.

That’s right, the folks over at Kingston are about to drop a 128GB flashbomb on the world. Available next month, the 128GB DataTraveler 200 will cost a staggering $547. SO DON’T WASH IN IN YOUR JEANS . Still, 128GB — do you realize how much porn that is? *ahem* Me neither. Kingston’s Flash Drives Hit 128GB [uberreview]

So yeah, it turns out the questionably honorable judge (Tomas Norstrom) in the recent Pirate Bay trial is “a member of the Swedish Copyright Association and sits on the board of Swedish Association for the Protection of Industrial Property”. How did this even happen? Hint: Swedish Fish . Love those things. Peter Althin, the lawyer for TPB cofounder Peter Sunde, said he’s asking the Swedish appeals court to consider ordering a retrial based on the judge’s possible bias, the BBC reports. “The judge in one of Sweden’s most high profile case ever is also a member of an interest organisation for one side and associates with the prosecution trial lawyers in his free time? That is inexcusable corruption. Wow, I don’t even know where to being with — ORDER IN THE BLOG! ORDER IN THE BLOG! Bailiff, remove this unruly commenter from my blogroom. Then come back and let me touch your gun. Now, where were we? Oh right — recess. Who’s down for hopscotch?! Pirate Bay judge is member of Copyright Association [zdnet] Thanks to Matty, who is now welcome to join my pirate crew — provided he pass the three trials first.