Borg cupcakes : that’s what these are. Now I don’t know too much about the Borgs except they’ve always scared the everliving crap out of me (literally, ask the popcorn sweeper in theater 11 after the 4:20 showing of First Contact back in ‘96), but it looks like two of them have little metal peeners for eyes . So that’s something. SOMETHING TO LICK OFF THE TOP BEFORE EATING THE REST OF THE CAKE, AMIRITE?! No, no I am not (I totally am though and you know it). Resistance is Delicious [wilwheaton] Thanks to emerica, who prefers platecakes.

NOTE : BELIEVE ME, YOU DON’T WANT TO HIT THE JUMP (God I’m good at getting extra pageviews). So a sheep in Turkey (you’re not a bird!) gave birth to a lamb with a human face . Except the lamb was already dead and had to be cut out via c-section. Apparently it was some kind of horrific mutation . God I’m depressed now. Erhan Elibol, a vet, performed a caesarean on the animal to take the lamb out, but was horrified to see that the features of the lamb’s snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face. Vets said that the rare mutation most likely occurred as a result of improper mutation since the fodder for the lamb’s mother was abundant with vitamin A, CNNTurk.com reports. The mutant creature was hairless. Local residents said that even dogs were afraid to approach the bizarre animal. The locals burnt the body of the little goat, and biologists had no chance to study the rare mutation. You can see the uncensored shot after the jump if you want, but I strongly advise against it. THE PICTURE CANNOT BE UNSEEN, no matter how roughly you sandpaper your eyes (I recommend at least an 80-grit). Hit it if you want, but I wouldn’t if I was you.

NOTE : BELIEVE ME, YOU DON’T WANT TO HIT THE JUMP (God I’m good at getting extra pageviews). So a sheep in Turkey (you’re not a bird!) gave birth to a lamb with a human face . Except the lamb was already dead and had to be cut out via c-section. Apparently it was some kind of horrific mutation . God I’m depressed now. Erhan Elibol, a vet, performed a caesarean on the animal to take the lamb out, but was horrified to see that the features of the lamb’s snout bore a striking resemblance to a human face. Vets said that the rare mutation most likely occurred as a result of improper mutation since the fodder for the lamb’s mother was abundant with vitamin A, CNNTurk.com reports. The mutant creature was hairless. Local residents said that even dogs were afraid to approach the bizarre animal. The locals burnt the body of the little goat, and biologists had no chance to study the rare mutation. You can see the uncensored shot after the jump if you want, but I strongly advise against it. THE PICTURE CANNOT BE UNSEEN, no matter how roughly you sandpaper your eyes (I recommend at least an 80-grit). Hit it if you want, but I wouldn’t if I was you.

Not to be outclassed by the recent Drybones baby , a family in the U.K. claims to be birthing Michael Jackson’s head. And, based on the ultrasonic evidence, I have to admit: that is indeed Michael Jackson getting poked in the nose with a penis turd. Mum and dad-to-be Dawn Kelley and William Hickman, from Sunderland, couldn’t believe their eyes when looking at this scan of their unborn baby - seeing the face of Jacko staring back at them. But the baby will not be called Michael - the couple know they’re having a girl. Ms Kelley, who is 24 weeks’ pregnant, due in March, said: “I’ve had plenty of scans before and none of the photos have ever looked like this. It’s a bit spooky. “But it is my seventh child, and seven is a mythical number.” Mythical number 7, riiiiiiight. Listen, I’m not so sure you should be breeding so much. Probably should have stuck with good ol’ non-mythical 0. Just sayin’! (Do you know anything about dragons?) ‘Our unborn baby looks like Michael Jackson!’ [shieldsgazette] Thanks to Aslan=Jesus and The Geekologies Writer lover, who, have you been drinking again?

Not to be outclassed by the recent Drybones baby , a family in the U.K. claims to be birthing Michael Jackson’s head. And, based on the ultrasonic evidence, I have to admit: that is indeed Michael Jackson getting poked in the nose with a penis turd. Mum and dad-to-be Dawn Kelley and William Hickman, from Sunderland, couldn’t believe their eyes when looking at this scan of their unborn baby - seeing the face of Jacko staring back at them. But the baby will not be called Michael - the couple know they’re having a girl. Ms Kelley, who is 24 weeks’ pregnant, due in March, said: “I’ve had plenty of scans before and none of the photos have ever looked like this. It’s a bit spooky. “But it is my seventh child, and seven is a mythical number.” Mythical number 7, riiiiiiight. Listen, I’m not so sure you should be breeding so much. Probably should have stuck with good ol’ non-mythical 0. Just sayin’! (Do you know anything about dragons?) ‘Our unborn baby looks like Michael Jackson!’ [shieldsgazette] Thanks to Aslan=Jesus and The Geekologies Writer lover, who, have you been drinking again?

The Humunga Stache is a $12 piece of molded rubber . One side’s a ball , and the other is giant freaking mustache . So when your dog bites the ball, guess what happens! (Hint: you take pictures and post them Facebook with clever captions). Add some low-cost laughs to your frequent frolics with Fido! This shiny black toy is a ball on one end, and a giant cartoon mustache on the other. Dogs naturally pick up the ball…which leaves the outrageously funny mustache sticking out! Dogs also love to hold the ball in their mouth, and shake the mustache back and forth! Not a bad idea. Of course, my dog would just chew up the whole damn thing. You see, she’s a bitch. And, based on those tits in the pic, so is Fido. Animal cruelty! Product Site via Humunga Stache [likecool] Thanks to Niki, whose bitch has a real mustache and moonlights as a carny.

These Pick Your Nose party cups from Fred are a set of 24 cups (2 each of 12 designs) with different noses printed on them. That way you can easily identify your beverage and not end up drinking from somebody’s dipping spit- cup . WHICH HAPPENS. Plus, you you get to spice up your look a bit. Although I’m a little disappointed they didn’t get a little more creative with the designs. What about a witch doctor’s nose with a bone through it? Don’t even tell me that’s not a brilliant idea. Because I will shrink your head faster than you can say, “OOO EEE, OOO AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG!” Now, go look in the mirror. Haha, of course I didn’t actually do it — I DON’T EFF WITH BLACK MAGIC. Now The Gathering, that’s a whole different story none of your business. Hit the jump for a woman drinking out of a man’s nose model. A woman with a man’s nose — ha!

Want to rob a house? Need a mask ? Pfft, just Sharpie your face off like these idiot morons ! Note: +2 homoerotic style points to Matthew for opting for a Robin mask. Police said they had no trouble identifying two men accused of trying to break into a Carroll apartment. Police were responding to a call about an attempted burglary when they pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects’ vehicle. Inside the car, officers found two men with their faces blackened with permanent marker. Police said the caller described two men with painted faces attempting to break into an apartment Friday night before driving off. Wow. I haven’t seen two bigger bags of fail in a long time. I can’t stop laughing! Mmmm, nitrous. Makes me want to go to dental school. Police: Marker Bandits Arrested [kcci] Thanks to Kelly, who once tried robbing a house with a bra over her face but was arrested when she got stuck trying to climb through the doggy door.

The Happiness Hat is a little beanie that senses if you’re smiling and stabs you in the back of the head with a spike if you’re not. It was designed by Lauren McCarthy to train your brain to smile, but it would probably just train my brain to leak out the hole it’s made. You can’t teach an old blogger to smile! Or wear pants to the office. Get an eyeful, Superficial Writer , you know you want to! Lauren McCarthy’s Website Thanks to Lauren, the mad hatter herself, for Pavlovian dogging the shit out of modern facial conditioning.

Let’s cut right to the questionable chase: this is a sculpture (or mold) of artist Marc Quinn’s head made from 4.5 liters of his own frozen blood . Really gets you in that Halloween spirit, doesn’t it? No, not so much. The blood is taken from this own body over a period of five months. The work is then repeated every five years to establish a unique record of the artist aging. Now I’m not here to judge art, but that seems pretty sick. Plus, what if the power goes out on your freezer while you’re away on vacation? How do you explain the 4.5 liter bloodstain in your garage? You hunt deer. That was a freebie — next time, you owe me. Creepy And Disgusting “Self” Art By Equally Creepy Artist Marc Quinn [youbentmywookie] Thanks to eric, who once made a head out of frozen orange juice concentrate. It was delicious.