Borg cupcakes : that’s what these are. Now I don’t know too much about the Borgs except they’ve always scared the everliving crap out of me (literally, ask the popcorn sweeper in theater 11 after the 4:20 showing of First Contact back in ‘96), but it looks like two of them have little metal peeners for eyes . So that’s something. SOMETHING TO LICK OFF THE TOP BEFORE EATING THE REST OF THE CAKE, AMIRITE?! No, no I am not (I totally am though and you know it). Resistance is Delicious [wilwheaton] Thanks to emerica, who prefers platecakes.

Sure he looks like a stoned pug, but still: G for effort . AND Gizmo. The dress skirt is available for $2,100 from Alex and Chloe, and is, wait — $2,100? You’ve got to be f***ing kidding me. “Gizmo” skirt in grey tweed with ‘ear-pockets’ and swarovski crystal eyes by BRIAN LICHTENBERG from the ready to wear collection. PLEASE NOTE: The Ready to Wear BRIAN LICHTENBERG pieces are made to order - Please allow 10-14 business days before we ship this item. First of all, for being in the “ready to wear” collection, 10-14 business days before shipping doesn’t exactly sound all that ready. And secondly, how much you wanna bet there’s an evil Gremlin hiding behind that cuddly little face? (I’m talking about her vagina) Hit the jump for a couple more shots, including some close-ups.

The Humunga Stache is a $12 piece of molded rubber . One side’s a ball , and the other is giant freaking mustache . So when your dog bites the ball, guess what happens! (Hint: you take pictures and post them Facebook with clever captions). Add some low-cost laughs to your frequent frolics with Fido! This shiny black toy is a ball on one end, and a giant cartoon mustache on the other. Dogs naturally pick up the ball…which leaves the outrageously funny mustache sticking out! Dogs also love to hold the ball in their mouth, and shake the mustache back and forth! Not a bad idea. Of course, my dog would just chew up the whole damn thing. You see, she’s a bitch. And, based on those tits in the pic, so is Fido. Animal cruelty! Product Site via Humunga Stache [likecool] Thanks to Niki, whose bitch has a real mustache and moonlights as a carny.

These Pick Your Nose party cups from Fred are a set of 24 cups (2 each of 12 designs) with different noses printed on them. That way you can easily identify your beverage and not end up drinking from somebody’s dipping spit- cup . WHICH HAPPENS. Plus, you you get to spice up your look a bit. Although I’m a little disappointed they didn’t get a little more creative with the designs. What about a witch doctor’s nose with a bone through it? Don’t even tell me that’s not a brilliant idea. Because I will shrink your head faster than you can say, “OOO EEE, OOO AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG!” Now, go look in the mirror. Haha, of course I didn’t actually do it — I DON’T EFF WITH BLACK MAGIC. Now The Gathering, that’s a whole different story none of your business. Hit the jump for a woman drinking out of a man’s nose model. A woman with a man’s nose — ha!

Want to rob a house? Need a mask ? Pfft, just Sharpie your face off like these idiot morons ! Note: +2 homoerotic style points to Matthew for opting for a Robin mask. Police said they had no trouble identifying two men accused of trying to break into a Carroll apartment. Police were responding to a call about an attempted burglary when they pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects’ vehicle. Inside the car, officers found two men with their faces blackened with permanent marker. Police said the caller described two men with painted faces attempting to break into an apartment Friday night before driving off. Wow. I haven’t seen two bigger bags of fail in a long time. I can’t stop laughing! Mmmm, nitrous. Makes me want to go to dental school. Police: Marker Bandits Arrested [kcci] Thanks to Kelly, who once tried robbing a house with a bra over her face but was arrested when she got stuck trying to climb through the doggy door.

The Happiness Hat is a little beanie that senses if you’re smiling and stabs you in the back of the head with a spike if you’re not. It was designed by Lauren McCarthy to train your brain to smile, but it would probably just train my brain to leak out the hole it’s made. You can’t teach an old blogger to smile! Or wear pants to the office. Get an eyeful, Superficial Writer , you know you want to! Lauren McCarthy’s Website Thanks to Lauren, the mad hatter herself, for Pavlovian dogging the shit out of modern facial conditioning.

Let’s cut right to the questionable chase: this is a sculpture (or mold) of artist Marc Quinn’s head made from 4.5 liters of his own frozen blood . Really gets you in that Halloween spirit, doesn’t it? No, not so much. The blood is taken from this own body over a period of five months. The work is then repeated every five years to establish a unique record of the artist aging. Now I’m not here to judge art, but that seems pretty sick. Plus, what if the power goes out on your freezer while you’re away on vacation? How do you explain the 4.5 liter bloodstain in your garage? You hunt deer. That was a freebie — next time, you owe me. Creepy And Disgusting “Self” Art By Equally Creepy Artist Marc Quinn [youbentmywookie] Thanks to eric, who once made a head out of frozen orange juice concentrate. It was delicious.

This is a head rendered in Tetris blocks as imagined by Rihards Rozans . I have no idea if he used his own face for the model , but if he did, he’s a pretty handsome guy. You know, in a Donkey Kong sort of way. Speaking of which: remember Candy Kong in Donkey Kong Country ? I wanted to hit that like a bushel of bananas. Uhhh, still green and $0.79/lb? Hit the jump for three more shots of the blocks.

Listen, as long as you’re human I firmly believe you should be able to kiss and have relations and relationships with whoever you want (provided they feel the same about you). I don’t care if you’re black, brown, yellow, blue, red, white, clear, striped, dotted, Canadian, from Australia , have food allergies, are bi, straight, gay or super gay, I say go for it. Robots, not so much. Robots should all burn in a fire. Video: The first (televised) kiss between robots [engadget] Thanks to Xavier, Mr. Robbot, Peterman, Joe Mamma, 3d, Kenneth and Captain Awesome, who swear they’ve never tried kissing themselves in the mirror and are all terrible liars.

Because it’s a well known fact vampires are pervbags that like to stare at you while you piss, here’s a custom Edward Cullen shower curtain. It was handpainted by Etsy seller CustomShowerCurtains and will set you back a cool 75 bones. Now, you may be wondering why I’m posting a Twilight shower curtain in the first place. And the answer to that, my friends, is for the womens . Apparently they love this shit. Also, shoes and cooking me breakfast. DO I KNOW THEM OR WHAT?! Product Page Thanks to Jay, who caught Bella watching him projectile vomit after a long night of drinking.