Remember the video of the world’s drunkest/crunkest/least stand-uppiest man trying to score some beer from the convenience store ? Well it turns out he was battling a previously unseen wizard trying to prevent him from drinking and walking. This security footage, enhanced with technology so advanced you wouldn’t be able to comprehend it, explains it all. Even better than Clarissa, AND THAT BITCH KNEW EVERYTHING. Youtube Thanks to naas and matt, who are always smart enough to don their anti-invisible wizard capes when venturing out for more brewhaha.

62-year old Dennis Anderson of Bumfunk, Minnesota was arrested last year for drunkenly driving his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. Anderson’s blood alcohol content was 0.29, which is impressive for a sexagenarian, but if mine falls below that I start to feel sick. Anderson’s customized vehicle, seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, is powered by an eight horsepower Kohler lawnmower engine, and has a stereo, headlights, a built-in cup holder, and a “Hell Yeah It’s Fast” bumper sticker. The ride, however, does not have a seat belt. Anderson, pictured above, controlled the La-Z-Boy via a steering wheel protruding from its seat cushion. The vehicle’s headrest was adorned with the logo of the National Hot Rod Association. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson’s jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term. First of all, I can’t believe it doesn’t have a pop-out leg rest. And secondly, I can’t believe it doesn’t have a built in cooler. Where the hell was Anderson getting all the beers? And don’t tell me a beer tree because I’mma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the beer at. I want the beer . Gimme the beer — I want the beer . Man Pleads To La-Z-Boy DWI [smoking gun] Thanks to Closet Nerd, Occasional Reader, Kevin, B-Rad and Lord Tarl, who would have been smart enough to kick up the leg rest (because they would have built theirs with leg rests) and nap it off.

62-year old Dennis Anderson of Bumfunk, Minnesota was arrested last year for drunkenly driving his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. Anderson’s blood alcohol content was 0.29, which is impressive for a sexagenarian, but if mine falls below that I start to feel sick. Anderson’s customized vehicle, seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, is powered by an eight horsepower Kohler lawnmower engine, and has a stereo, headlights, a built-in cup holder, and a “Hell Yeah It’s Fast” bumper sticker. The ride, however, does not have a seat belt. Anderson, pictured above, controlled the La-Z-Boy via a steering wheel protruding from its seat cushion. The vehicle’s headrest was adorned with the logo of the National Hot Rod Association. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson’s jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term. First of all, I can’t believe it doesn’t have a pop-out leg rest. And secondly, I can’t believe it doesn’t have a built in cooler. Where the hell was Anderson getting all the beers? And don’t tell me a beer tree because I’mma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the beer at. I want the beer . Gimme the beer — I want the beer . Man Pleads To La-Z-Boy DWI [smoking gun] Thanks to Closet Nerd, Occasional Reader, Kevin, B-Rad and Lord Tarl, who would have been smart enough to kick up the leg rest (because they would have built theirs with leg rests) and nap it off.

62-year old Dennis Anderson of Bumfunk, Minnesota was arrested last year for drunkenly driving his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. Anderson’s blood alcohol content was 0.29, which is impressive for a sexagenarian, but if mine falls below that I start to feel sick. Anderson’s customized vehicle, seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, is powered by an eight horsepower Kohler lawnmower engine, and has a stereo, headlights, a built-in cup holder, and a “Hell Yeah It’s Fast” bumper sticker. The ride, however, does not have a seat belt. Anderson, pictured above, controlled the La-Z-Boy via a steering wheel protruding from its seat cushion. The vehicle’s headrest was adorned with the logo of the National Hot Rod Association. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson’s jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term. First of all, I can’t believe it doesn’t have a pop-out leg rest. And secondly, I can’t believe it doesn’t have a built in cooler. Where the hell was Anderson getting all the beers? And don’t tell me a beer tree because I’mma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the beer at. I want the beer . Gimme the beer — I want the beer . Man Pleads To La-Z-Boy DWI [smoking gun] Thanks to Closet Nerd, Occasional Reader, Kevin, B-Rad and Lord Tarl, who would have been smart enough to kick up the leg rest (because they would have built theirs with leg rests) and nap it off.