Are you richer than God ? Are you considering the purchase of an Aston Martin Rapide? If so, please hire me — I’ll do anything. Sexual favors excluded. Sexual flavors , okay. Mmmm, this tastes like lube ! The AMVOX2 Rapide Transponder heralds the second generation of the revolutionary creation that sealed the ties between the Grande Maison from the Vallée de Joux and the legendary British luxury sports car manufacturer. Released several months ago, it is the first mechanical watch developed with the ability to control access into a luxury sports car by means of a built-in micro transmitter system serves to lock and unlock the Aston Martin DBS car, while maintaining the key functions of the famous vertical-trigger mechanism equipping the pushpiece-free chronograph. That’s right, a $30K watch that unlocks your car doors . It may even start the engine too, I dunno. But that’s not the point. The point is this: if you can’t even use a regular key you probably shouldn’t be driving. Hit the jump for another shot of the watch and one of the car. Vroom vroom?

This $40 backpack from Hot Topic (I know, I secretly love that place too!) holds shit and makes you look like a ninja turtle . What more could you ask for from a bookbag ? Jesus, it’s not gonna do your math homework. This backpack is in the shape of a half-shell and includes four masks. Turtle power! WOOT! That’s right, the bag includes masks in all four turtle colors! I like turtles! AND getting high in the Turtle Van. Come on guys, make me an honorary member. I’ll wear the brown mask AND WIELD A F***ING LIGHTSABER! Now, give it to me straight — which one of you is banging April? Master Splinter — GTFO!! Product Site via The Daily What Thanks to Pete, who once pulled Krang out his android body’s stomach and beat him with a shovel.

Looking for the perfect garden sculpture to accentuate your backyard ? Well look no further, my dino-loving friends, because TOSCANO Designs has you covered, thanks to this Jurassic-Sized T-Rex Statue . “GW, DIIIIIIIINNER TIME!” CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY, GOD! At 22 feet long and 11 feet tall, this Jurassic-sized replica is the largest sculpture we have ever offered! Realistically sculpted with rows of menacing teeth, a fearsome tail and scaly skin, our prehistoric artifact is cast in quality designer resin and hand-painted with powerfully convincing color and texture. This display-quality sculpture transforms any home, garden, restaurant or hotel into something truly magnificent! Oh. Hell. Yes. Each statue is built to order and costs $7,500. A little steep, I know, but nothing you can’t afford. So go ahead and get one. Then I’m going to need your address. Also, I suggest you build a 20-foot privacy fence. KIDDING — I don’t care who sees! Product Site Thanks to uglybuckling, who has a face even a mother can’t love. But his pecs, my god those pecs.

This is a video of some sort of Russian-made chassis that turns your car into a treaded vehicle . I’m not sure how it connects or if you have to take the wheels off, but I do know I want one . Just not as bad as I want a kit that turns my car into a monster truck. 20’s? Pleeeeaase , I’m rollin’ on 200’s fool! Russian ’strap-on tank’ turns any car into a monster [dvice]

This is a video of a cat rubbing itself against the hand of a guitar player. It’s awesome. So awesome, in fact, I’ve decided to learn how to play the guitar so the cat will play with me. GOD KNOWS THE DOG WON’T DO IT. *ahem* Chloe . YOU HAVE AN UNDERBITE WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?! Youtube via Icanhazcheezburger Thanks to Marcia, who’s so pretty all the woodland creatures come to her. Watch out for those bears, Marcia.

I’ve known about the Triceracopter for awhile because it was available last year, but I didn’t want to tell you about it while I attempted to secure it for myself. Unfortunately even my most threatening phone calls didn’t work, so here it is. Now maybe you can help me steal it. Per old post: Built as a sculpture in 1977 by artist Patricia Renick, it’s now available now for the discerning collector/dinopilot. The Triceracopter is subtitled “Hope for the Obsolescence of War,” and I guess that’s why it’s a dinosaur combined with a military helicopter. You know what I love about the Triceracopter? Unlike most dino-vehicle hybrids, this one won’t scorch your genitals off should you try mounting it from behind. *ahem* I’m looking at you, Velocirocket. Hit the jump for three more shots.

I’ve known about the Triceracopter for awhile because it was available last year, but I didn’t want to tell you about it while I attempted to secure it for myself. Unfortunately even my most threatening phone calls didn’t work, so here it is. Now maybe you can help me steal it. Per old post: Built as a sculpture in 1977 by artist Patricia Renick, it’s now available now for the discerning collector/dinopilot. The Triceracopter is subtitled “Hope for the Obsolescence of War,” and I guess that’s why it’s a dinosaur combined with a military helicopter. You know what I love about the Triceracopter? Unlike most dino-vehicle hybrids, this one won’t scorch your genitals off should you try mounting it from behind. *ahem* I’m looking at you, Velocirocket. Hit the jump for three more shots.

I just ordered 600 cases. Before and After Win [failblog] Thanks to yeahthatsme, Craig, Ijkabob, corey sucks at video games, retroprofile, Colin, Cloie, dcontard, Nedemai, lolpotatoes, FelipeMago, ed! and Clint, who all took black market boner pills and turned into unicorns.

I just ordered 600 cases. Before and After Win [failblog] Thanks to yeahthatsme, Craig, Ijkabob, corey sucks at video games, retroprofile, Colin, Cloie, dcontard, Nedemai, lolpotatoes, FelipeMago, ed! and Clint, who all took black market boner pills and turned into unicorns.

I just ordered 600 cases. Before and After Win [failblog] Thanks to yeahthatsme, Craig, Ijkabob, corey sucks at video games, retroprofile, Colin, Cloie, dcontard, Nedemai, lolpotatoes, FelipeMago, ed! and Clint, who all took black market boner pills and turned into unicorns.