Looking for the perfect garden sculpture to accentuate your backyard ? Well look no further, my dino-loving friends, because TOSCANO Designs has you covered, thanks to this Jurassic-Sized T-Rex Statue . “GW, DIIIIIIIINNER TIME!” CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY, GOD! At 22 feet long and 11 feet tall, this Jurassic-sized replica is the largest sculpture we have ever offered! Realistically sculpted with rows of menacing teeth, a fearsome tail and scaly skin, our prehistoric artifact is cast in quality designer resin and hand-painted with powerfully convincing color and texture. This display-quality sculpture transforms any home, garden, restaurant or hotel into something truly magnificent! Oh. Hell. Yes. Each statue is built to order and costs $7,500. A little steep, I know, but nothing you can’t afford. So go ahead and get one. Then I’m going to need your address. Also, I suggest you build a 20-foot privacy fence. KIDDING — I don’t care who sees! Product Site Thanks to uglybuckling, who has a face even a mother can’t love. But his pecs, my god those pecs.

What better way to spend Valentine’s Day than home alone in front of the television at 10PM Eastern watching a Discovery Channel special on dinosaur sex ? I can’t think of a single one. Of course, I can’t think of a better way to spend any day. Tyrannosaurus Sex , the Discovery Channel’s “new special that investigates dinosaur reproduction” and uses “ground-breaking CGI [to] bring new life to one of the last mysteries of these great beasts.” The press release for the show is a thing of both beauty and terror — not unlike a dinosaur, really. “Tyrannosaurus Sex doesn’t just answer the questions, IT SHOWS DINOSAUR SEX IN ALL ITS GLORY ,” it says. Please god, no. “How did a ferocious T-Rex woo his lady? How did a female Titanosaur support the weight of a male who was as long as a four-story building is high? How did a Stegosaurus couple negotiate sex with all those deadly plates and spikes?” Oh. my. God. It’s like the Discovery Channel has been rooting around in my brain! Tell me, did you find out where I parked my car last night? Right, I remember being at that club, and then — robot threesome whaaaaat? Nope, definitely came up with this on their own. Press Release [tvbythenumbers] via ‘Tyrannosaurus Sex’: Jurassic spark? [popwatch] Thanks to Ryleigh and Craig, who are both invited to come over and watch provided we don’t ever make eye contact.

Now THAT’S what I’m talking about. Except I’m not so much talking as fantasizing . God I’d love to be in the middle of those two. Ha — I guess I AM talking about it! Now one of you put those little arms to use and make me a sandwich. Tyrannosaurus skeleton casts mounted in a mating position, Jurassic Museum of Asturias [wikipedia] (high-res version) Thanks to Kelly, who just convinced me to buy a one-way ticket to Asturias, Spain.

In promising dinosaur-cloning news, hundreds of football-sized Sauropod eggs have been uncovered in India. Secretary, book me a flight! Oh, wait, they’re all infertile. Secretary, cancel that flight and order me a pizza ! “The important finding is that these eggs have been found in different layers that means the dinosaurs came to the place over and over year after year,” he said. “The second important thing is that we have got volcanic ash deposits on the eggs which suggests that volcanic activity could have caused their extinction. “The other thing we have found is that all these eggs are unhatched and infertile. So what made the eggs infertile? We need to carry out further studies to learn more from the findings.” Dr Ramkumar and his team have called on the central and state governments to protect what they are calling a “Jurassic treasure trove”. Hell yes, Jurassic treasure trove. That’s better than pirate gold in my book. And my book is awesome and has COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS OF ME BONING DINOSAURS (tasteful ones). Just saying, go ahead and send the Caldecott to my parent’s house. Dinosaur eggs are found in India [bbcnews] Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and Awesome Saucer, who have a time machine and may or may not be responsible for some of those eggs (read: the eggs are infertile so I suspect they are).

I can honestly say I’ve never wanted to have sex with a bowl of noodles so bad in my entire life. Well, that’s not entirely true. Product Site Thanks to Carolina, who only eats her pasta the way god intended: with Mario and Luigi.

“Samson”, who is being billed as the third most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton (I would hit that like a meteor), will be on the auction block in Las Vegas October 3rd. Bidding is expected to top $6 million. Great. Anybody know how to rob a bank? Experts say the 170 bones discovered about 17 years ago in South Dakota represent more than half the skeleton of a 40-foot-long, 7.5 ton dinosaur that lived 66 million years ago. “This represents the pinnacle of paleontology,” Lindgren told The Associated Press on Friday. “Most of the major museums in the world have casts of T. rexes,” as opposed to the real thing, he said. “Bidding on this T. rex is not going to be a gamble, it’s going to be the opportunity of a lifetime to whoever gets it.” The more I think about it, the more I can’t believe they’re letting this happen. You can’t just sell a dinosaur . I mean, dinosaurs are people too, you know? THEY’RE NOT LIKE PROSTITUTES. Also, I don’t care if the auction is going down in Vegas, this is just horribly, horribly wrong (I’ll give you $2,000 for one night alone. $600 for just the skull). T. rex for sale: Dinosaur fossil on block in Vegas [yahoonews] Thanks to everyone who sent this in, are any of you by chance millionaires?

In the best news I’ve heard in a while, a scientist at McGill University in Montreal (I love you, Canada) is attempting to reverse engineer a dinosaur from a chicken “by altering chicken genes known to have evolved since the Cretaceous .” Needless to say, there are many problems with the very concept of making a dinosaur out of a chicken. For one, dinosaurs, as a group, are defined by only a few characteristics: a hole in their hip socket, some limb bone flanges, and other minor anatomical features. Changing chicken DNA won’t produce those traits, because chickens already have them. A chicken, like all birds, is already a dinosaur. Getting rid of its feathers or giving it teeth won’t make it more of a dinosaur than it already is. What in the — chickens ARE dinosaurs? To the colonel’s farm, STAT — I’m gonna roll myself in corn and die happy! Scientist Vows To Reverse-Engineer Dinosaur From Chicken [popsci] Thanks to James, Alexander the Viking, Mr. Robbot, Adam, Dustin, Erik, Myriapode, Tigerh8r, Pepe la PEWPEW, Dominik and Caroline, who will never look at a drumstick the same.

What I wouldn’t give to switch places with this guy for 30 minutes. 30 minutes! Robotic Dinosaurs Ponder Man’s Extinction [gizmodo]

I’m not going to go into the details about what this video did to me (I don’t kiss and tell), but suffice it to say it was magical . Like a wand. In my pants. Youtube Thanks to Robbie, Sterling, cbobgo and Kerri, who know what I like.

Jurassic Fight Club: Turf Wars is a little in-browser video game (in the style of Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat ) made by The History Channel to promote their new series Jurassic Fight Club premiering on Tuesday, July 29th at 9PM eastern. Needless to say, I will be turning on, tuning in and dripping out the leg of my pants. And, while I typically don’t condone dinosaur on dinosaur violence, this was strangely erotic. You like how I caught a screencap of the two dinosaurs kissing? I do . JURASSIC FAP ATTACK! Jurassic Fight Club Thanks to Gabby, who beat the whole game. Nice, Gabby, I tried, but my directional pad got stuck.