Looking for the perfect garden sculpture to accentuate your backyard ? Well look no further, my dino-loving friends, because TOSCANO Designs has you covered, thanks to this Jurassic-Sized T-Rex Statue . “GW, DIIIIIIIINNER TIME!” CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY, GOD! At 22 feet long and 11 feet tall, this Jurassic-sized replica is the largest sculpture we have ever offered! Realistically sculpted with rows of menacing teeth, a fearsome tail and scaly skin, our prehistoric artifact is cast in quality designer resin and hand-painted with powerfully convincing color and texture. This display-quality sculpture transforms any home, garden, restaurant or hotel into something truly magnificent! Oh. Hell. Yes. Each statue is built to order and costs $7,500. A little steep, I know, but nothing you can’t afford. So go ahead and get one. Then I’m going to need your address. Also, I suggest you build a 20-foot privacy fence. KIDDING — I don’t care who sees! Product Site Thanks to uglybuckling, who has a face even a mother can’t love. But his pecs, my god those pecs.

What better way to spend Valentine’s Day than home alone in front of the television at 10PM Eastern watching a Discovery Channel special on dinosaur sex ? I can’t think of a single one. Of course, I can’t think of a better way to spend any day. Tyrannosaurus Sex , the Discovery Channel’s “new special that investigates dinosaur reproduction” and uses “ground-breaking CGI [to] bring new life to one of the last mysteries of these great beasts.” The press release for the show is a thing of both beauty and terror — not unlike a dinosaur, really. “Tyrannosaurus Sex doesn’t just answer the questions, IT SHOWS DINOSAUR SEX IN ALL ITS GLORY ,” it says. Please god, no. “How did a ferocious T-Rex woo his lady? How did a female Titanosaur support the weight of a male who was as long as a four-story building is high? How did a Stegosaurus couple negotiate sex with all those deadly plates and spikes?” Oh. my. God. It’s like the Discovery Channel has been rooting around in my brain! Tell me, did you find out where I parked my car last night? Right, I remember being at that club, and then — robot threesome whaaaaat? Nope, definitely came up with this on their own. Press Release [tvbythenumbers] via ‘Tyrannosaurus Sex’: Jurassic spark? [popwatch] Thanks to Ryleigh and Craig, who are both invited to come over and watch provided we don’t ever make eye contact.

Radical is the opposite of what I was thinking. A cowbot riding a velociraptor around like a common horse ? It’s enough to make me sick to my stomach . Speaking of which: mixing soymilk and OJ doesn’t make an Orange Julius. But it does make you throw up in your mouth a little (high-five Facebook friends — you know what I’m talking about!). Anyway, today I’m gonna try adding sugar. Picture and Picture Thanks to Alex, who once went to a dinosaur rodeo and said it made him sick. You must have gone to the wrong kind Alex (I’ll be in the closet).

I could easily go all night and LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. That’s practically my dream world. Unfortunately, this hellaflawed quiz said I’d only last 1 minute 56 seconds. Just sayin’ — I would wear that dino out. Not unlike my friend Barney. Get that fat purple ass of yours back here! How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor? [theoatmeal] Thanks to Kenny, Xavier and Chris, who combined could only last 0:03.

I could easily go all night and LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. That’s practically my dream world. Unfortunately, this hellaflawed quiz said I’d only last 1 minute 56 seconds. Just sayin’ — I would wear that dino out. Not unlike my friend Barney. Get that fat purple ass of yours back here! How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor? [theoatmeal] Thanks to Kenny, Xavier and Chris, who combined could only last 0:03.

I could easily go all night and LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. That’s practically my dream world. Unfortunately, this hellaflawed quiz said I’d only last 1 minute 56 seconds. Just sayin’ — I would wear that dino out. Not unlike my friend Barney. Get that fat purple ass of yours back here! How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor? [theoatmeal] Thanks to Kenny, Xavier and Chris, who combined could only last 0:03.

Now THAT’S what I’m talking about. Except I’m not so much talking as fantasizing . God I’d love to be in the middle of those two. Ha — I guess I AM talking about it! Now one of you put those little arms to use and make me a sandwich. Tyrannosaurus skeleton casts mounted in a mating position, Jurassic Museum of Asturias [wikipedia] (high-res version) Thanks to Kelly, who just convinced me to buy a one-way ticket to Asturias, Spain.

First of all, we’re not going there. I just thought this would be a good time to open up a discussion about what sort of dinosaur mount you think Jesus will ride into battle against the robots. My guess is a supersweet t-rex/raptor hybrid God made just for him. That can fly. Oooh — and breath fire. Okay, a dragon. Puff! Image [bme] Thanks to tripcreator, who may or may not be a travel agent.

In wonderful news, at least according to this $18 t-shirt design from Threadless (where were you on this, CNN ?!), all dinosaurs go to heaven. So yeah, maybe there’s a merciful God after all. But, as a guy who wasn’t ever planning on seeing the pearly gates: does the Catholic church still do that thing they used to where you pay to have your sins absolved? And, if so, can I borrow some money? Couple mill should do me. Product Site Thanks to Adam, who’s trying his hardest to go to hell because he heard that’s where all marsupials go. You’re sick.

So I got so drunk last night I woke up this morning and didn’t even know I was the Geekologie Writer. Also, I think I pissed the bed but I’m too afraid to smell it. But that’s neither here nor there, what is here is this Kia Stegosaurus spotted at Wal-Mart (three Wal-Mart automotive posts in a week , I blow goats love dinos!) I’ll lay off them, I swear. Seriously though, is this not the most beautiful automobile you’ve ever seen? Because I would 115% rear-end the hell out of that sucker. IM IN UR TAILPIPE VOIDIN UR WARRANTY! StegaCARous [peopleofwalmart] Thanks to killerabbit, Johannes, Spikey DaPikey, N!9htR3@p3r, TabiCat and Greg, who all agree I would look good in this thing.