Because I’m pretty much the L337357 thing on this side of the L337 57R337, BOOM, two Star Wars posts in a row! Imperial Stout Trooper is (you’ll never guess!) an Imperial Stout beer manufactured by New England Brewing Co. which, get this, IS BASED IN NEW ENGLAND! Did you brain just explode ? Mine did, but then it all came back together like watching Gallagher sledgehammer a watermelon in reverse. You shoulda seen it, hands down Youtube quality shit. Just a heads up on New England Imperial Stout Trooper. This will be hitting shelves the week before Christmas in 750ml bottles. Same great beer, but now in bigger bottles. With an average of 4.31 on Beer Advocate, IST appears to be very close to breaking the top 100, should that average hold up on this next batch. This is the first time the beer will appear in 750’s after previously being available in 12 oz. bottles. Did you hear that, Santa? GW wants a stocking stuffed with Imperial Stout Trooper! Plus lottery scratch-offs. Daddy’s getting rich this Christmas! Also, laid (you distract the fat man, I’ll throw a net on Blitzen). New England Imperial Stout Trooper arrives in two weeks [beernews] Thanks to reado, who did not shoot first. But he did start drinking before I could even order a beer. A little manners, God .

Disposable flasks are exactly what they sound like: throw-away flasks . They’re basically glorified juice pouches with a screw-top lid. ZOMG, I LOVE DRINKING EVERYWHERE! Enter the Disposable Flask ($15/set of 3). These 7.5 oz. reusable foil pouches are portable, freezable, pocketable, and easily disposable, and feature airtight plastic lids that won’t leave tell-tale leakage marks on your clothes. Jesus, why didn’t I think of that? Oh right, I DID. They’re called Zip-Loc bags, and I’ve been filling them with bourbon for years. Anybody need a nip? I have two. They’re perky! Disposable Flask [uncrate] Thanks to naas, who just carries his bottles with him wherever he goes.

Well folks, there’s a new drunkest beer in town. And that beer is Tactical Nuclear Penguin by BrewDog Brewery in Scottland — at 32% alcohol by volume content . I WANT IT INSIDE ME! Too bad it’s gonna cost $49.50 a bottle . I’m sticking to isopropyl! A warning on the label states: “This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance. In exactly the same manner that you would enjoy a fine whisky, a Frank Zappa album or a visit from a friendly yet anxious ghost.” However Jack Law, of Alcohol Focus Scotland, described it was a “cynical marketing ploy” and said: “We want to know why a brewer would produce a beer almost as strong as whisky.” I don’t know what kind of idiot test you have to pass to join Alcohol Focus Scotland, but for the sake of Jack Law, the answer is, “to get people drunk”. Jesus, it’s not rocket surgery. ‘World’s strongest’ beer with 32% strength launched [bbcnews] Thanks to 2MechanicalArms, Kitteh and Ross, who once drank 240% alcohol and loved every sip of it.

I love tequila sunrises. You know why? They’re fruity, come with a little umbrella , and go down great with breakfast . Which, more often than not, is two quarts of mimosas I mixed into an orange juice carton. I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ON EATING HEALTHY. But, for those of you that prefer a solid breakfast, maybe you’ll be interested in this bacon sunrise, which is actually just some bacon , an egg and a couple sprigs of inedible greenery. Now imagine if you were miniaturized and walking those rolling bacon hills. Would you stop to enjoy the eggrise or would you be too busy driving bacon into your mouth to notice? No need to answer, I’ve got your number. Hit the jump for another one of a bacon road.

I think we all knew this day would come: Envelopes with bacon -flavored adhesive. Geez, these are almost as clever as my invention: nipple flavored envelopes. Which, I think you and I both know is the closest your tongue will ever come. J&D’s, the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, isn’t kidding when they say everything should taste like bacon: They just announced Mmmvelopes, bacon-flavored envelopes. $6.99 for 25 bacon-flavored #10 envelopes, $14.99 for 3 packs of 25….”No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead.” Now I know what you’re thinking, “but how do I keep myself from eating them?” THEY’RE PAPER YOU IDIOTS. Yeah I have no idea. Mmmvelopes: Bacon-Flavored Envelopes from the Makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise [eatmedaily] Thanks to Mih0, who invented chocolate-flavored envelopes a long time ago but that ruthless cocoa mogul Wonka stole his idea.

This is an awesome 80’s cake that combines elements of this cake , this cake , sort of this cake , and these blue bastards . Really takes you back, doesn’t it? I remember watching Smurfs. And I, for one, am not ashamed to admit that I know you had a crush on Smurfette. She’s not even your species! Plus blue! *high five* Hit the jump for closeups of the different elements.

Anna the Red, best known for her incredible video-game themed Bento boxes , went and made a WALL-E on wheat. She has a tutorial on how to make your own over at her website if you’re interested, so I went ahead and printed it out and gave it to my mom. Gosh, I hope I get a juicebox too! Hit the jump for a couple more shots showing off WALL-E’s 3-Dness.

Hell yeah a bacon of the month club. Truthfully, I only thought there was one kind of bacon (delicious), but what do I know? I’m just a man who has all his meals prepared for him by a non-robotic bartender. Anyway, for a staggering $315 you can join the Grateful Palate BOTM Club and get: - A different artisan bacon delivered to your door each month for 12 months - Informative notes on all bacon selections - Discounts on The Grateful Palate bacon products and bacons - Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card - The bacon strip - our members only monthly bacon comic strip - The Bacon of the Month Club Pig Ballpoint Pen - A little Rubber Toy Pig - One free Bacon Tee Shirt - A recipe each month using the bacon selected - Discounts on suggested wines and products in recipes - And a pig nose! Wow, I don’t need half that stuff. How much for just the bacon, membership card and comic strip? Because I’m willing to go as high as $28. Just sayin’, that’s more than $2/month — I don’t even pay that in child support. Yay for aliases! The Grateful Palate Bacon of the Month Club Thanks to kyle, who should start a sexy of the month club cause damn he looks good.

This is probably the most delicious keyboard I’ve ever seen because I haven’t seen a bacon one yet. Unfortunately, like a harmless robot, it doesn’t actually exist. BUT IF IT DID. Oh, the things I would do to you. Oh yeah, you like that? You like those Doritos crumbs? You like those Doritos crumbs between your marshmallows? S’More Keyboard Would Not Survive 10 Minutes on My Desk [gizmodo] Thanks to GreenBoss, who kicked FuchsiaBoss’s ass and ate his keyboard.

Eric Brocklebank, 64, got struck by lightning while manning the barbecue . And what did he have to say about it? Sausages . “It was like an implosion inside my body.” “There was so much pressure inside of me and I couldn’t see properly. I could just make out the faint outline of people heading my way.” It came in through my arm, which is burnt, then it must have gone down through my body and out through my feet.” He added: “I was told the only thing I could say as I was drifting in and out of consciousness was ’sausages’.” Somebody get this man an award. Not only does he brave the elements to cook some delicious meat, but he gets struck by lightning and SOMEHOW KEEPS HIS BURNT EYES ON THE SAUSAGE-Y PRIZE. My God they must have been delicious. Lightning bolt heats up BBQ [thesun] Thanks to Vask, who nominates Eric for a 2009 Wiener Award.