This is a video of a dancing robot girl that was shot (the footage, not the robot — unfortunately) during the very disturbing (and fundamentally wrong) ROBO-ONE GATE Dance Competition. A dancing robot competition? Really? That’s it, I’m heading to the moon . The 6th ROBO-ONE GATE IN INTERNATIONAL ROBOT EXHIBITION 2009 Dance Competiton spons took place in Tokyo Big Sight, during INTERNATIONAL ROBOT EXHIBITION 2009 , on Nov. 28th, 2009. `LOVE & JOY, Yuhi Kimura` by Doka Harumi (Doka Project). No one survived the performance. Jesus, this is the shit nightmares are made of. You know, the kind you wake up from with a full load. And don’t even act like it’s never happened, it’s happened . I ran into your mom at the grocery store! Doka Harumi’s robot dance routine fills us with shame for humanity, but mostly Japan [engadget] Thanks to Mycropht, who once danced with a robot BUT ONLY TO GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO PLANT THE C4. Good lookin’, Micropht.

That’s right folks, even bread and trying to destroy itself from the future can’t keep the Large Hadron Collider from colliding. The beast recently made it’s first low-power collision and, amazingly, you’re still here to read this. And me to write it. So I guess we should both be thankful for that. Thanksgiving joke, HIYO! From CERN: Next on the schedule is an intense commissioning phase aimed at increasing the beam intensity and accelerating the beams. All being well, by Christmas, the LHC should reach 1.2 TeV per beam, and have provided good quantities of collision data for the experiments’ calibrations. CERN Director General Rolf Heuer remarked that it was “a great achievement to have come this far in so short a time.” Granted, it may not seem all that short to those of us that have been following its progress, but a year of delays for a multi-billion dollar project and the largest science experiment ever endeavored by mankind doesn’t seem so bad. Well the world’s gotta end sometime, amirite? I’d just assume it be now because, God, FOOD COMA. Did I say coma? I meant I’m going to projectile vomit. Large Hadron Collider finally collides for the first time [dvice] Thanks outlawkitsune, Duck N’ Cover, jaja, MoD, Mih0, Dan the Hammer, MrMaclean, Ben, Jon and everyone else whose emails I couldn’t find because I’ve already started drinking. HAPPY THANIKSGF S!IG!

That’s right folks, even bread and trying to destroy itself from the future can’t keep the Large Hadron Collider from colliding. The beast recently made it’s first low-power collision and, amazingly, you’re still here to read this. And me to write it. So I guess we should both be thankful for that. Thanksgiving joke, HIYO! From CERN: Next on the schedule is an intense commissioning phase aimed at increasing the beam intensity and accelerating the beams. All being well, by Christmas, the LHC should reach 1.2 TeV per beam, and have provided good quantities of collision data for the experiments’ calibrations. CERN Director General Rolf Heuer remarked that it was “a great achievement to have come this far in so short a time.” Granted, it may not seem all that short to those of us that have been following its progress, but a year of delays for a multi-billion dollar project and the largest science experiment ever endeavored by mankind doesn’t seem so bad. Well the world’s gotta end sometime, amirite? I’d just assume it be now because, God, FOOD COMA. Did I say coma? I meant I’m going to projectile vomit. Large Hadron Collider finally collides for the first time [dvice] Thanks outlawkitsune, Duck N’ Cover, jaja, MoD, Mih0, Dan the Hammer, MrMaclean, Ben, Jon and everyone else whose emails I couldn’t find because I’ve already started drinking. HAPPY THANIKSGF S!IG!

This is a little cheat-sheet designed to remind you how to defeat your enemies . It might come in handy for some of you, but I don’t need it because I can kill just about anything with my good looks. And by good looks I obviously mean laser blaster. Although I did defeat a mirror once with my fist . Then I took some artsy pictures of myself in its shattered surface. Holy shit I’m emo. :’( God, please don’t tell anybody. Know Your Enemy (Especially His Weak Points) [kotaku] Thanks to Blastphemer, for two tips in one day. Darn, and I just ran out of prizes.

This is a little cheat-sheet designed to remind you how to defeat your enemies . It might come in handy for some of you, but I don’t need it because I can kill just about anything with my good looks. And by good looks I obviously mean laser blaster. Although I did defeat a mirror once with my fist . Then I took some artsy pictures of myself in its shattered surface. Holy shit I’m emo. :’( God, please don’t tell anybody. Know Your Enemy (Especially His Weak Points) [kotaku] Thanks to Blastphemer, for two tips in one day. Darn, and I just ran out of prizes.

MIT , a school best known for not accepting me despite two super-sweet essays and several threatening phone calls , is now developing a robot companion for drivers . Why? Because we need more distractions in the car. AIDA (Affective Intelligent Driving Agent) communicates with the driver via a small, sociable robot built into the dashboard. The idea is to develop an informed and friendly passenger, the buddy perpetually riding shotgun who aside from reading the map and helping with navigation, acts as a companion. As such, AIDA is being developed to read drivers’ moods via their facial expressions and other cues (hand gestures?) and respond to them in the proper social context. It communicates back in very human ways as well: with a smile, the blink of an eye, the drooping of its head. AIDA analyzes the driver’s mobility patterns, common routes and destinations, and driving habits. It then merges its knowledge of the driver with its knowledge of the city around it, mashing up the drivers priorities and needs with real-time information on everything from tourist attractions to environmental conditions to commercial activity to help the driver make better decisions. Yeah, but can he take the wheel? Because what good is a robot in the car if it can’t drive you home? I don’t need a friend in the car THAT’S WHY WE HAVE TEXTING, am I right? No, I’m dead wrong. Literally: DEAD. WRONG. Don’t text and drive. This message brought to you by the GW and everyone else who agrees that you already suck at driving bad enough without another distraction. MIT Introduces a Friendly Robot Companion For Your Dashboard [popsci] Thanks to Jeff, tom and Kristi, who just get lost and play ‘I Spy’ with themselves in the car like normal people.

Because life is progressively becoming a series of nightmares , scientists want to develop a robot that mimics the movement of a cheetah so they can chase us down and maul us to death. Why did I even get out of bed this morning? Oh, right. Well why did I even wake up this morning? Professor Sangbae Kim designer of the Stickybot and a Robotic designer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Is trying to understand how he can replicate natural animal mechanisms by creating a robot inspired by the cheetah. The idea is to build a prototype robot from a construction of lightweight carbon-fiber-foam that will then be able to match the cheetah’s speed of 70 miles per hour. Over the next 18 months, Kim and four other MIT graduate students are going to start constructing the prototypes. Starting with a computer model of the robotic cheetah to establish the optimal limb length, weight, gait and torque of the hip and knee joints. It’s an ambitious project. Current wheeled robots are efficient, but can be slow in rough terrains. For instance, iRobot’s PackBot, which is used by the U.S. military, can only travel at speeds of up to 5.8 miles per hour. I’m sure this seemed like a good idea to somebody at some point, but it’s not. Like I don’t have enough to worry about without a 70 MPH cheetah-bot running around. Also, like four children. And you wonder why daddy drinks in bed all day! Cheetah Inspired Robot [geekygadgets] Thanks to Excaliber, who I will use to slice through these bastards like room temperature butter.

Because life is progressively becoming a series of nightmares , scientists want to develop a robot that mimics the movement of a cheetah so they can chase us down and maul us to death. Why did I even get out of bed this morning? Oh, right. Well why did I even wake up this morning? Professor Sangbae Kim designer of the Stickybot and a Robotic designer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Is trying to understand how he can replicate natural animal mechanisms by creating a robot inspired by the cheetah. The idea is to build a prototype robot from a construction of lightweight carbon-fiber-foam that will then be able to match the cheetah’s speed of 70 miles per hour. Over the next 18 months, Kim and four other MIT graduate students are going to start constructing the prototypes. Starting with a computer model of the robotic cheetah to establish the optimal limb length, weight, gait and torque of the hip and knee joints. It’s an ambitious project. Current wheeled robots are efficient, but can be slow in rough terrains. For instance, iRobot’s PackBot, which is used by the U.S. military, can only travel at speeds of up to 5.8 miles per hour. I’m sure this seemed like a good idea to somebody at some point, but it’s not. Like I don’t have enough to worry about without a 70 MPH cheetah-bot running around. Also, like four children. And you wonder why daddy drinks in bed all day! Cheetah Inspired Robot [geekygadgets] Thanks to Excaliber, who I will use to slice through these bastards like room temperature butter.

According to a couple of Canadian researchers , the human race could never weather a zombie uprising . Pfft, speak for yourselves, Canucks — I’M A SURVIVOR ! Based on models of rampant infectious diseases, say researchers, civilization would be doomed if we were ever attacked by zombies. If society were ever attacked by zombies, we would probably be doomed, and quickly. That was the conclusion of two university researchers in Ottawa, Ontario, who set up mathematical models hypothesizing zombie attacks as infectious diseases with the well-known characteristics of zombie biology from popular fiction. In fact, according to a July BBC News report, zombies are more threatening than virulent diseases because they can regenerate (unless decapitated or incinerated, of course). More troubling was the researchers’ presumption that zombies move slowly, as in older movies, but in recent fiction, they’re super-quick, making them nearly invincible. Oh man, as much as I do respect a couple of Canadians with calculators plugging away at a mathematical model they created using the info they gathered from Shawn of the Dead and Zombieland , this is one blogger who isn’t succumbing to the zombie apocalypse. Robot, sure, but not zombies. News of the Weird: Based on models of rampant infectious diseases, say researchers, civilization would be doomed if we were ever attacked by zombies [yahoonews] Thanks to Gideon, who isn’t going out in any sort of apocalypse. Except perhaps a sexpocalypse . Just kidding!

This would happen. So yeah, be thankful for Italian plumbers. Except for the pair that stole all the copper piping out of my house. Those two can go to hell. Animated Gif Thanks to PK, who once stopped a Bullet Bill from destroying the earth by deflecting it with a giant tennis racket. TOO BAD YOU BLEW UP THE SUN.