Because when you know you’re going down you might as well do it in a big pile of flaming pink shit, Dodge has decided to make ‘Furious Fuscia’ Challengers and market them to men . Chrysler Group is trying to better define its various brands and products as it attempts to claw back lost market share following years of slumping sales and financial cutbacks that ultimately ended in bankruptcy. Photographs don’t really do justice to Furious Fuchsia, Chrysler spokesman Dan Ried insisted, while acknowledging that fuchsia might seem an odd color choice for a male-oriented car. “I saw it in person and it actually looks pretty cool,” he said. “It’s tough to capture how it looks in the daylight.” No, it’s not hard to capture. It looks pinkish-purple. Now listen, Dodge, I’m not one to tell somebody how to run their business, but you’re doing it wrong. You want to succeed in auto making I’ve got two words for you: Lean manufacturing HOVER CARS. Trust me, put all your eggs in that basket. Dodge’s new tough-guy color: Furious Fuchsia [cnn] Thanks to JOeyKy, who tells women he rides his bike everywhere because he cares about the environment even though I saw him on Operation Repo.

Finally scientists have proven that, despite what popular kid’s programs would have you believe, dinosaurs were not all purple and sing-songy and allowed near children. Nope, some has feathers . Red ones. The researchers removed 29 chips, each the size of a poppy seed, from across the dinosaur’s body. Mr. Vinther put the chips under a microscope and discovered melanosomes. To figure out the colors of Anchiornis feathers, Mr. Vinther and his colleagues turned to Matthew Shawkey, a University of Akron biologist who has made detailed studies of melanosome patterns in living birds. Dr. Shawkey can accurately predict the color of feathers from melanosomes alone. The scientists used the same method to decipher Anchiornis’s color pattern. Anchiornis had a crown of reddish feathers surrounding dark gray ones, and its face was mottled with reddish and black spots. Its body was dark gray, but its limb feathers were white with black tips. Given the full detail of the findings, Dr. Prum said, “it was like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs.” “….like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs.” Where the hell do these people come up with this stuff? Because I want their power of similes. Could you imagine? A word wizard of my caliber mastering the art of similes? I’d be like an unstoppable tornado of raw power and supple skin that you just want to feel against your cheek so badly but can’t BECAUSE I’M A F***ING RAGING TORNADO AND WILL TEAR YOUR GOTDAMN HOUSE DOWN. Suck it, wolf. Evidence Builds on Color of Dinosaurs [nytimes] and True-Color Dinosaur Revealed: First Full-Body Rendering [nationalgeographic] Thanks to Ryan, littlezan, big jerm, Shea, Divo, Da, Meow vs Meow, lauren!, Foxx, Anonymous_Rex, ellen, Amanda, Alan, Gabriel, Jujufruit, Griffin, Gavin, Sydney, Jennifer, Mike, Max, Brent, danundertheice, Chupacabra, Jonathan, Dustin, graf zeppelin, The Coffee Mugger, Aleisha and anybody else whose email I couldn’t find because the mail sorter at the internet post office is a jerk, I love dinos and so should you.

Finally scientists have proven that, despite what popular kid’s programs would have you believe, dinosaurs were not all purple and sing-songy and allowed near children. Nope, some has feathers . Red ones. The researchers removed 29 chips, each the size of a poppy seed, from across the dinosaur’s body. Mr. Vinther put the chips under a microscope and discovered melanosomes. To figure out the colors of Anchiornis feathers, Mr. Vinther and his colleagues turned to Matthew Shawkey, a University of Akron biologist who has made detailed studies of melanosome patterns in living birds. Dr. Shawkey can accurately predict the color of feathers from melanosomes alone. The scientists used the same method to decipher Anchiornis’s color pattern. Anchiornis had a crown of reddish feathers surrounding dark gray ones, and its face was mottled with reddish and black spots. Its body was dark gray, but its limb feathers were white with black tips. Given the full detail of the findings, Dr. Prum said, “it was like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs.” “….like writing the first entry in a Jurassic field guide to feathered dinosaurs.” Where the hell do these people come up with this stuff? Because I want their power of similes. Could you imagine? A word wizard of my caliber mastering the art of similes? I’d be like an unstoppable tornado of raw power and supple skin that you just want to feel against your cheek so badly but can’t BECAUSE I’M A F***ING RAGING TORNADO AND WILL TEAR YOUR GOTDAMN HOUSE DOWN. Suck it, wolf. Evidence Builds on Color of Dinosaurs [nytimes] and True-Color Dinosaur Revealed: First Full-Body Rendering [nationalgeographic] Thanks to Ryan, littlezan, big jerm, Shea, Divo, Da, Meow vs Meow, lauren!, Foxx, Anonymous_Rex, ellen, Amanda, Alan, Gabriel, Jujufruit, Griffin, Gavin, Sydney, Jennifer, Mike, Max, Brent, danundertheice, Chupacabra, Jonathan, Dustin, graf zeppelin, The Coffee Mugger, Aleisha and anybody else whose email I couldn’t find because the mail sorter at the internet post office is a jerk, I love dinos and so should you.

Upset that devil worshiping is traditionally a boys-only game? Well fret not, ladies , cause now there’s a Ouija board just for you! It’s pink! Girls love pink ! Plus shoes! It has always been mysterious. It has always been mystifying. And now the OUIJA Board is just for you, girl. With 72 fun questions included, you’ll never run out of things to ask. Who will call/text me next? Will I be a famous actor someday? Who wishes they could trade places with me? Gather your friends around, draw a card, place your fingers on the planchette and ask your question. Concentrate very hard and watch as the answer is revealed in the message window. Make up your own questions, and let the OUIJA Board satisfy your curiosity in virtually endless ways. OUIJA Board will answer. It’s just a game - or is it? It’s not just a game. It’s like an empty soup can and long string STRAIGHT TO THE DEVIL’S MOUTH. Don’t believe me? One time growing up a friend and I asked what we were gonna get for Christmas that year. You know what it said? ‘SOQMNETR’. Which, last time I checked, is not how you spell ‘ALL THE HE-MAN TOYS EVER MADE INCLUDING THE CASTLE GRAYSKULL PLAYSET’. Then we threw it in the fire and heard screaming. Toys R Us via Toys R Us Can’t Be Serious. But They Are. [babble] Thanks to zeppomarks, who asked a Magic 8 Ball if I’d post this tip. ‘It is decidedly so’.

I remember when I was growing up I only had one crayon color: stick. You had to really bear down on the paper, but it was kind of a brownish-green. Sometimes more brown, sometimes more green , but always ready to poke your eye out. Maybe your parents bought you things though, maybe you had a plethora of colors , which is even more likely if you were born in the past ten or fifteen years. Which, according to a quick calculation, would make you around 10 to 15. My target demographic. I’m hip, I know what’s up with you guys. So, you cats wanna slam some pogs or what? Yeah? Cool, I’ll Rollerblade right over. Color Me A Dinosaur [weathersealed] via Crayola Color Chart, 1903-2010 [buzzfeed] Thanks to Martin, who used to smear shit on the wall by his crib. Still does.

I remember when I was growing up I only had one crayon color: stick. You had to really bear down on the paper, but it was kind of a brownish-green. Sometimes more brown, sometimes more green , but always ready to poke your eye out. Maybe your parents bought you things though, maybe you had a plethora of colors , which is even more likely if you were born in the past ten or fifteen years. Which, according to a quick calculation, would make you around 10 to 15. My target demographic. I’m hip, I know what’s up with you guys. So, you cats wanna slam some pogs or what? Yeah? Cool, I’ll Rollerblade right over. Color Me A Dinosaur [weathersealed] via Crayola Color Chart, 1903-2010 [buzzfeed] Thanks to Martin, who used to smear shit on the wall by his crib. Still does.

Party Rats are little light-emitting rings in the shape of rats you wear when you’re high on ecstasy at a rave and want to impress the girl with the candy necklace on. Just remember: spirit fingers!! What? You haven’t heard of Party Rats! You’re kidding, right? They’re the best thing to happen to partying since the mirror ball. People of all ages are putting these colorful, plastic, rodent lights on their fingers and waving their hands in the air like they just don’t care. Each 1-3/4″ long rat sends out a different colored beam of light, allowing you to create your own personal light show! Also great for the latest computer craze, night blogging! Ah, yes, night blogging. And a guy who’s no stranger to sitting at his computer all hours of the night with his pants around his ankles….SHUT UP THAT’S HOW I DO IT, OKAY?! Don’t question my creative process. Also, one time I bit through a glowstick and didn’t know until the tube was empty. Yeah, my urine glowed . Product Site Thanks to Nathan, who had actual lasers implanted in the tips of his fingers and is blind in one eye from rubbing it. You gotta think before you act, Nathan.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, everybody. I hope you’re all having a good one and celebrating the inherent beauty of our diversity. And I’ve got news for you — if you think you were created better than anyone else, you weren’t. “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’” “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Amen to that, Martin. And, hypothetically, let’s say yours truly somebody else had a couple kids that were hatched green and scaly. They’re still cool, right? (I swear I trained them not to eat people) HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. DAY! Youtube Thanks to favelaj, who has a recurring dream about space monsters (stop eating right before bed).

Now we’ve known about eyeball tattoos for awhile now, just not that people were getting them done in the slammer . Honestly, there are just some things I just wouldn’t want to get done in prison: my ass, and every single other thing ever. But did that stop David Boltjes and Paul Inman from getting good and drunk off toilet hooch and tattooing their eyeballs ? No it did not. The video’s worth a watch if you get the chance, and contains a whole bunch of good one-liners. Also, footage of two guys with their eyeballs tattooed. And, as tough as I am, I wouldn’t want to run into either one of them in a dark alley. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE POOR NIGHT VISION. Prison Eyeball Tattoos [liveleak] Thanks to el Deco, Bum_Eyes, Chuck Nunchuck, and Sally, who are gonna be the first four to get their irises done.

This is a photo taken by Flickr user Meow Cely of a girl with ‘pew pew’ tattooed across her fingers . I must admit, I admire her dedication to the pews. You don’t see me rocking any pew-y ink (except in THIS post), and I’m one of the the laser blaster’s biggest proponents. Funny story: I went to a gun and knife show a few weeks ago and demanded my entrance fee be returned when I found out there weren’t any laser guns. Also, I accidentally cut myself with a bowie knife and tried to play it off like I’d been stabbed. Flickr via (Geek) Thug Life!: Pew Pew Tattoo [greatwhitesnark]